Current Events > Do you feel it's unreasonable of me to not want my friend to play without me?

(+) Yeah! (+)

A bit of backstory: I gameshare with a buddy, and since he doesn't work, I buy most of the games that we play. I just bought fallout 76 recently, and I bought it for the sole purpose of us playing together. Like, we only play if we are on together. I want to experience the game in coop. I don't want him to play while i'm at work and get burned out. He tends to have no self control, and will play a game until he is sick of it. He'll play something from the time he wakes up, till the time he goes to bed, only breaking for restroom and food.

I would like for us to experience this game together. You think it's unreasonable for me to ask him to just not play if I'm not online?

EDIT: He has plenty of other things to do while I'm not online. Other games to play.
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Any coop run is a run thats only played with everyone present IMO.

But isnt 76 more of like an Ark/DayZ type game or something? Does it have quests and everything?
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HaVeNII7 posted...

Any coop run is a run thats only played with everyone present IMO.

But isnt 76 more of like an Ark/DayZ type game or something? Does it have quests and everything?

It does. It's pretty much the core of fallout 4.
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Mainly, I'm burned from him playing games that I bought for us to play together, but he ended up playing all day while I was at work. By the time I got off work, he was already burned out and ready to stop for the day.

If he had a job, or anything at all going on in his life, it wouldn't bother me as much. But he doesn't. He has virtually unlimited time, but I don't. I just think it's fair that he doesn't play while I'm at work. Especially considering that I buy the games and pay for the PS plus service.
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well, you said it yourself...he has no self control. It's been hard but i've had to cut people like this out of my life recently. He obviously doesn't consider things from your point of view. He probably thinks your time is unlimited and wonders why you arent up with him until 4 in the morning gaming with him
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Do you buy a lot more games than he does, or is it an even balance? Considering that he's unemployed, i'm guessing you mainly make a lot of the game purchases.
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RedWhiteBlue posted...

Have you tried communicating with him? Communication is the most basic, fundamental thing that people just don't seem to try first. Just ask him "hey, could we experience this game together? I love playing coop with you but I'm working too much and don't wanna catch you burned out for the day, if that's ok with you"

Yeah. I told him several times. Softly, and then firmly (wow that sounds sexual).

I just can't help but feel like I'm being dick, even though I know that I'm not. It's like, I just want us to play together, and experience everything for the first time together. Not him play for 8 hours while I'm at work, and experience all this cool shit that I wasn't able to. Of course, all that would change if he worked too, and the only time he could play was when I was at work, but... that's not the case.
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MabusIncarnate posted...

Do you buy a lot more games than he does, or is it an even balance? Considering that he's unemployed, i'm guessing you mainly make a lot of the game purchases.

90% of the games are bought by me. When he buys a game, it's usually single player, and because he wants it for himself. I usually don't even play the ones that he buys. One, I have limited time, and prefer to play coop with him when I am online. Two, the ones he buys don't really interest me.

He's played and beaten the vast majority of the games that I've purchased.
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Why is he unemployed?
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QwelzaarKane posted...

Why is he unemployed?

Long list of reasons. He's not disabled, if that's what you're getting at.

Basically, he doesn't really have to. He lives with his mother for free. She feeds him, clothes him, pays for the internet, buys his cigarettes... He's enabled by everyone to live his dream life.

Not have to do anything, while getting everything that makes him happy.
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wait a tic. is your friend fire thief by any chance?
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I don't know who that is.

More on topic. It's really sad when I think about it. He's in his late 30s, and his mom is in her 60s. I often wonder what he's gonna do when she passes away.
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I'd cut him off and find someone new. He's clearly just mooching off of you and has no concern that you want to play games co-op, he's getting free shit and playing it on his own terms.

I gameshare on xbox with a guy and we are about 50/50 in purchases and really never "go ahead" when either of us wants to run something co-op. It's been a strong relationship for a few years.
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MabusIncarnate posted...

I'd cut him off and find someone new. He's clearly just mooching off of you and has no concern that you want to play games co-op, he's getting free shit and playing it on his own terms.

I gameshare on xbox with a guy and we are about 50/50 in purchases and really never "go ahead" when either of us wants to run something co-op. It's been a strong relationship for a few years.

We've been friends for 20 years, tho. I'd rather him just have a bit more awareness.
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have you tried telling him hes a fucking loser and needs to get a job?
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Dyinglegacy posted...

MabusIncarnate posted...

I'd cut him off and find someone new. He's clearly just mooching off of you and has no concern that you want to play games co-op, he's getting free shit and playing it on his own terms.

I gameshare on xbox with a guy and we are about 50/50 in purchases and really never "go ahead" when either of us wants to run something co-op. It's been a strong relationship for a few years.

We've been friends for 20 years, tho. I'd rather him just have a bit more awareness.

Sometimes that doesn't matter. Honestly think about how one-sided the friendship has been all this time and if it's all worth it.

I know this guy. I don't know your friend specifically, but I know the freeloading, worthless loser that leeches off of his mother in his 30's and those guys care only about themselves and how they can benefit in all situations. He's using you, plain and simple.

Stop and think, and I mean really think, how often he's been there for you, did something for you, acted like you held a priority over himself. If you can't after 20 years come up with at minimum 5 occurrences, you are pretty much being strung along and played.

He sounds like a dirtbag and it seems like you are just part of his plan to stay afloat.
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SH_expert44 posted...

have you tried telling him hes a fucking loser and needs to get a job?

He knows he is. He's the first to say that he's a loser. He's really just a failure without hope. I've tried to get him to go college. He's a legitimate genius on the IQ scale, school would be simple for him. He just doesn't have any pride or motivation.
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Dyinglegacy posted...

QwelzaarKane posted...

Why is he unemployed?

Long list of reasons. He's not disabled, if that's what you're getting at.

Basically, he doesn't really have to. He lives with his mother for free. She feeds him, clothes him, pays for the internet, buys his cigarettes... He's enabled by everyone to live his dream life.

Not have to do anything, while getting everything that makes him happy.

It was just simple curiosity, but after reading that I feel you should cut him off on principle. He's just taking advantage of everyone, including you. I guarantee if you tell him to start paying his fair share he's gonna lash out.
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I hate the fact that he's so available, and so fun to hang with. He's like a bad habit that you know is terrible, but you just can't help it.

I feel like the abused girlfriend who keeps coming back lol
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Dyinglegacy posted...

I hate the fact that he's so available, and so fun to hang with. He's like a bad habit that you know is terrible, but you just can't help it.

I feel it. I just went through something similar with a friend and ended up cutting his phone off with no warning. Some people need some real tough love to start getting their shit together.
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Dyinglegacy posted...

MabusIncarnate posted...

I'd cut him off and find someone new. He's clearly just mooching off of you and has no concern that you want to play games co-op, he's getting free shit and playing it on his own terms.

I gameshare on xbox with a guy and we are about 50/50 in purchases and really never "go ahead" when either of us wants to run something co-op. It's been a strong relationship for a few years.

We've been friends for 20 years, tho. I'd rather him just have a bit more awareness.

i've been in this situation verbatim, they will never become aware....especially if they are the smoke weed all day everyday types.....sorry, the gamefaqs mods are going to come down on me as "flaming" for this one probably but he doesn't sound like someone who is a winner..dump him and move on
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Dyinglegacy posted...

QwelzaarKane posted...

Why is he unemployed?

Long list of reasons. He's not disabled, if that's what you're getting at.

Basically, he doesn't really have to. He lives with his mother for free. She feeds him, clothes him, pays for the internet, buys his cigarettes... He's enabled by everyone to live his dream life.

Not have to do anything, while getting everything that makes him happy.

the bolded thing bothers me. his mom won't be there forever.
but if it was a different circumstance like being unable to work because of an injury or physical/mental condition then i'm definitely letting that pass.
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I feel like i've seen this topic before a few months ago.
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Yes.
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If you're literally buying him games to play together than no, that's perfectly reasonable.

I agree with the people saying he's taking advantage.
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PMarth2002 posted...

If you're literally buying him games to play together than no, that's perfectly reasonable.

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mhbigboss posted...

I feel like i've seen this topic before a few months ago.

This.
Either TC has a recurring problem or it's pasta for dinner
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ArmieBuff posted...

Take the game away with you to work so he can't play it

lmao
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