Current Events > My wife spent the last year and a half or more criticizing me for being too open

(+) Yeah! (+)

She doesn't like any of my work friends, she has a reason why she doesn't like every single one of them, and she says I'm too open with them and too quick to help them and that when I talk about them, it's basically as if I'm enamored with them entirely. I haven't hung out with anyone from work in a long ass time because my wife gets angry if I want to hang out with them but she doesn't want to hang out with them.

And now she's working. The first couple months was a whole bunch of "I hate everyone, I'm not there to make friends, I'm just going to be professional and do my job and go home" speech.

But now SHE'S making friends. And she talks about them all the time, and she talks about how we should hang out with them, and how great they are, and talktalktalk.

I'm just frustrated because the shoe is on the other foot now so to speak. She's doing all the same things she criticized me for, and yet she doesn't seem to recognize it.

I think it's bullshit.

fml.
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Hexenherz posted...

I think it's bullshit.

Welcome to the rest of your life
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X-Pac_Heat posted...

Hexenherz posted...

I think it's bullshit.

Welcome to the rest of your life

my life in general I guess. The before and after
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...did she never have work friends before? How?
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King_Hellebuyck posted...

...did she never have work friends before? How?

She had a rough time finding work, and then the work she did find was always BS for one reason or another.
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Personally I would just use this as an opportunity to reconnect with any work friends you've been missing.

If your wife has a problem you can have a discussion based on her new behavior.
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Sounds like you married a keeper, bro
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AlisLandale posted...

Personally I would just use this as an opportunity to reconnect with any work friends you've been missing.

If your wife has a problem you can have a discussion based on her new behavior.

The problem is I don't even really have anyone at work to hang out with now myself -_-.

I don't have friends.

I guess I'm jealous of her situation and frustrated at the hypocrisy.
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I was in a similar spot with my wife. Well, my soon to be ex wife I guess.
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She's abusing you

Just a matter of time before you start explaining to your coworkers how you fell down the stairs
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Wow man you really picked a good one.

Real talk TC: how long did you guys date before you got married?
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Hexenherz posted...

I'm just frustrated because the shoe is on the other foot now so to speak. She's doing all the same things she criticized me for, and yet she doesn't seem to recognize it.

don't get salty about it
that was the dysfunctional mistake she made before
you had friends, she didn't and was enviously pissy over it

don't make the same mistake

call her out when she's a hypocrite and tries to rip on your friends again
but don't sit there pissed at her for being a brat that occasionally lacks self awareness
thats just going to dump more drama on both of you
and you probably knew she was gonna be like that before you married her

when you stand up for yourself, make it clear having friends is important to you, you need that social outlet in the same way she probably likes havin hers
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She understands that but then she gets frustrated at the idea that I want to help out friends more than I'm willing to help her out. And to an extent sometimes she's right.
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Do you have "friends" that just like to use you for stuff? Women will be quick to point that sort of thing out.

Are you loaning $$$ to these friends or making a habit of blowing a ton of cash whenever you hang out with them?
Or worse: are you blowing more money on them than you do on activities with her?

A modern wife is going to naturally get triggered by all of that...
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What if TC's wife was right and he's just a massive follower, though?
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No I don't hang out with anyone ever and the last time *WE* hung out with someone and spent a lot of money on them, it was this girl that my wife wanted to hang out with who turned out to have some really intense feelings about raw food diets and she kind of conned us into buying her stuff for a while -_-.
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NonDairyMiltank posted...

Hexenherz posted...

I'm just frustrated because the shoe is on the other foot now so to speak. She's doing all the same things she criticized me for, and yet she doesn't seem to recognize it.

don't get salty about it
that was the dysfunctional mistake she made before
you had friends, she didn't and was enviously pissy over it

don't make the same mistake

call her out when she's a hypocrite and tries to rip on your friends again
but don't sit there pissed at her for being a brat that occasionally lacks self awareness
thats just going to dump more drama on both of you
and you probably knew she was gonna be like that before you married her

when you stand up for yourself, make it clear having friends is important to you, you need that social outlet in the same way she probably likes havin hers

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Sounds like an uptight psycho. Fuck anybody that wont let me hang out with my friends.
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Be real with us, man.
Have your bros talked you into some stupid stunts or unnecessary purchases that would make your wife flip?
Are you being responsible with your spending?

I ask because it's something that happens a lot when a guy starts getting influenced into bad choices to appease his bros. There's so many stories of men hitting midlife and blowing a ton of cash on bandwagon hobbies their man club is into, like motorcycle pack trips across country....for the first time in their lives.
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Going to need pics to see if the bullshit is worth it or not
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Sounds like she was jealous you had more friends than her
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I don't even really have any bros. Or anyone in my life. I'll meet someone and we talk and maybe hang out once then I never see them again, or if I do we talk for about twenty seconds but they have other friends or they're busy.

I've always been responsible with my spending, especially since I'm the one with the steady income and I don't like wasting money.
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Well since she already ruined all of your friendships if it was me I would make sure she's miserable too and ruin all of hers. Maybe fuck one of her work friends too and don't tell her about it just in case you have some ammunition if you split up.
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Squall28 posted...

Sounds like she was jealous you had more friends than her

The tables have turned I guess.
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Hexenherz posted...

No I don't hang out with anyone ever and the last time *WE* hung out with someone and spent a lot of money on them, it was this girl that my wife wanted to hang out with who turned out to have some really intense feelings about raw food diets and she kind of conned us into buying her stuff for a while -_-.

You don't sound like someone that's responsible with your money.
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codey posted...

Hexenherz posted...

No I don't hang out with anyone ever and the last time *WE* hung out with someone and spent a lot of money on them, it was this girl that my wife wanted to hang out with who turned out to have some really intense feelings about raw food diets and she kind of conned us into buying her stuff for a while -_-.

You don't sound like someone that's responsible with your money.

No, I'm pretty responsible with it.
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She's a hypocritical bitch (obviously) but at the same time take work friends for what they are. Yes, you can be friendly with them and yes, sometimes they will pan out to be 'real' friends regardless of your coworker relationship but more often than not you mainly wanna be friendly to the extent that you could potentially hit them up as a work contact down the line. There is a fine line with saying too much about your personal/outside-of-work life with most coworkers, even if you hang out with them a good bit on your own time. If you're too open, sometimes that info you freely gave away about yourself might be used against you. Just don't forget that coworkers gossip with other coworkers while you're not around - it's always gonna happen.
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I don't mean open like transparent, I mean... open like I am too quick to get excited about friends? idk how to describe it.

I don't even talk about work stuff at home any more or home stuff at work any more because I'm just tired of trying to find the right course.
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You should do a lot of things for your wife. Not having friends isn't one those things. It's kind if on you for not standing your ground.
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