Current Events > Need an outsider's perspective (relationship)

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darklink1017
12/02/18 2:14:14 PM
#1:


forgive me for being biased, I'll try my best to tell her side of the story:

*she= Indian, in India. her parents are trying to rush her into marriage. they are offering all these different guys to her to marry.
*me=indian, in the USA. just graduated. literally just secured a good paying job.
*us: met 3 months ago. long distance. never met in person.

me: I cannot see her until next December 2019 due to my new job. I have not accrued any PTO/Vacation time yet.
her: wants me to quit my job to go see her and MARRY her by Summer 2019.

government: they check the income of the sponsor (me) and I need the job to even travel overseas and provide a life for us. after marrying overseas in India, it will take an additional 6-7 months to bring her over to the USA>

my response: I can't go there until December 2019. she proceeds to throw a fit and is audibly upset.

my conscious: aren't we going a bit fast?

what's your take on all this? should I abort? It's an LDR anyways.
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TeaMilk
12/02/18 2:15:33 PM
#2:


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rikasa
12/02/18 2:16:30 PM
#3:


I don't understand what the "pros" are to continuing this relationship?
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refmon
12/02/18 2:17:13 PM
#4:


TeaMilk posted...
holy shit abort

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TheMikh
12/02/18 2:17:33 PM
#5:


do you like your job
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#6
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Bruce_Somali
12/02/18 2:19:34 PM
#7:


Hump a bastard into her then disengage.
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Kaiganeer
12/02/18 2:22:01 PM
#8:


darklink1017 posted...
us: met 3 months ago. long distance. never met in person.

darklink1017 posted...
her: wants me to quit my job to go see her and MARRY her by Summer 2019

cut off all contact
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eggcorn
12/02/18 2:22:12 PM
#9:


Yeah you can find someone else where the situation isn't so ridiculous.
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Unsugarized_Foo
12/02/18 2:24:05 PM
#10:


Sounds like she's using you to get a new start, with or without you

She loses nothing in this scenario if she marrys you and you can pretty much lose what you've worked up to
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darklink1017
12/02/18 3:01:46 PM
#11:


Yeah. That's what I thought.

I feel so damn rushed into this. I like her, but not enough to quit the job. Plus it's an LDR lol...

Thanks for the advice guys. I knew what to do in my gut, but I need the outsider's perspective. Just because her parents are rushing her doesn't mean I have to fall prey to that. I've only known the girl for about 2 months now. It's already ridiculous as it is.
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RONDA LMAO ---->https://imgur.com/duzX4Vn
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darklink1017
12/02/18 3:02:57 PM
#12:


TheMikh posted...
do you like your job


I have no choice but to like it at the moment man...got to pay off these student loans from university...the job is well paying and utilizes my skillset/passion.
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Blue_Inigo
12/02/18 3:06:44 PM
#13:


You've known her for 3 months and you've not physically seen her.

Dont throw shit away for her
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boxington
12/02/18 3:10:12 PM
#14:


yea, even though you might be really into her, I think that you should end things before you two get even more invested in your relationship.

you're still young (I assume), so hopefully you still have a lot of time to find someone with whom your interests are more aligned. you shouldn't even have to be pressured to marry someone, especially if you've only known them for a relatively short amount of time
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#15
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darklink1017
12/02/18 3:12:36 PM
#16:


boxington posted...
you're still young (I assume)


I wish I was :(

I'm 30..graduated university late. better late than never I suppose. That's why there's a wee bit of desperation on my part. If I was younger, I'd have aborted much longer ago. My parents want me married off too, but they are wary of marrying women from overseas (understandably).
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