Current Events > Awkward sexual/date experiences?

(+) Yeah! (+)

1. Back in '12 i just started dating locally after a long, 4 year long distance relationship. I met this cute nursing student on okc, and after like a month of texting nonstop she agrees to a date. We meet at a douche bar doing 90s throwback r&b night. I don't dance or drink - so not my thing.
Her best friends boyfriend is there, too, and i end up having more in common with him (he was in the punk scene and we had tons of mutual friends) and talk to him more than her. He says his gf is out of town and her and i could stay at his place. We go to another bar and back to his place.
She is drunk now and we finally begin talking more. It's time to go to bed and her and i lay on the couch and spoon. Her round ass is grinding into me and she's putting my hand between her thighs. Only problem is his room is like 15 feet away, facing us, and has no door. I was inexperienced at the time and felt weird about it. I decide not to do anything (plus she's drunk and I'm not, so kinda rapey). I get up to pee and come back and she rolled onto the middle of the couch. I feel weird waking her up (should've in retrodpect) and try to sleep on the floor -- but there's no heat and they both begin snoring REALLY loudly. I tumble around all night. No second date.

2. Around that same time another girl messages me and has a lot in common with me - except she's poly and too skinny for me. I kind of put a passive aggressive anti-poly statement in my profile and she messages me saying she didn't know and she just wanted to fuck. She worked at my local Robeks.
Less than a week later her friend messages me and goes on a date with me. She also worked at the same Robeks. I end up saying something that could've been misconstrued as mildly racist, i think? But we never had a second date despite her being super into me physically and having a bit in common. Sucks, too, cause she also had a fat ass

Yeah this one time back in '12 i just started dating locally after a long, 4 year long distance relationship. I met this cute nursing student on okc, and after like a month of texting nonstop she agrees to a date. We meet at a douche bar doing 90s throwback r&b night. I don't dance or drink - so not my thing.
Her best friends boyfriend is there, too, and i end up having more in common with him (he was in the punk scene and we had tons of mutual friends) and talk to him more than her. He says his gf is out of town and her and i could stay at his place. We go to another bar and back to his place.
She is drunk now and we finally begin talking more. It's time to go to bed and her and i lay on the couch and spoon. Her round ass is grinding into me and she's putting my hand between her thighs. Only problem is his room is like 15 feet away, facing us, and has no door. I was inexperienced at the time and felt weird about it. I decide not to do anything (plus she's drunk and I'm not, so kinda rapey). I get up to pee and come back and she rolled onto the middle of the couch. I feel weird waking her up (should've in retrodpect) and try to sleep on the floor -- but there's no heat and they both begin snoring REALLY loudly. I tumble around all night. No second date.
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3. Later that same year, I drove down to Columbus to sleep with the first black girl I'd slept with. It was like a 2 hour drive with tons of construction. I ended up getting a room and driving down to where this record store was that I always wanted to visit. I couldn't figure out parking -- so I parked somewhere that was a no parking zone. I figured it'd only be like 20 minutes -- I wouldn't get towed? Well I loved the record store, and after I got Pita Pit. I went back to my car and it was gone. I had to go find out where it was towed, and pay $80 to get it back.
The girl took forever to get back to me. FINALLY at like 8pm she says to pick her up. She lives in some super sketch neighborhood and I can see her and already tell she's big af - bigger than I'd thought. She gets in the car and her breath REEKS of oregano and vinegar. She said she'd just eaten at Piada and kept raving about it. We talk a bit about social and racial issues, and she tells me I'm cool as fuck - and that her brother is a booster and if I wasn't she probably would've robbed me. She also said her friends usually charge money - so I should be happy she thinks I'm cute and wants to fuck for free.
Well I'm not attracted to her - even if I think she's a cool and nice (to me, at least) person. I finally go to make out with her and she swallows my face, breath still rank. She's also lactating from anti-psychotics, which is gross. She gives me some bomb ass mouth, and then I just sit in misery and try and get the sex finished as soon as possible. Only problem is - condom fell off inside her. I had to go get a plan B pill and practically force her to swallow it. I lasted like 2 minutes, if that.
So the whole experience cost me gas money to Columbus, a $80 room, $80 towing fee, and a $50 plan B. The worst.

4. Back in like '17 I met a girl online who was poly and lived way out in the country in Ohio. She was nice, but had tons of C-section scars, excess flesh, and bad teeth. Her husband also kept calling her and begging her to record us so he could watch it.

5. Also in '17 I almost cuck-henned a woman. She was married to another woman, and began liking men and her wife was letting her have sex with men. I almost met up with her and let her wife sit in the room -- but I had a big exam in the morning the one time she was in town (she was normally like an hour-ish away) and never met her.

You texted her for an entire month before asking her out on a date? Wtf

When I meet girls on tinder I plan a meeting within a day of talking.
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Genocet_10-325 posted...

You texted her for an entire month before asking her out on a date? Wtf

When I meet girls on tinder I plan a meeting within a day of talking.

I asked for dates constantly. I was working overnight at the time and she was in clinicals. We both also lived with our parents. She's the one who asked for that date -- and it was out of the blue; I was at my friends' place playing SWTOR when she randomly texted me and asked to meet up.

Couldn't stop staring at the face my last gf had tattooed on her arm during a bj, which led to her getting upset with me for not staying hard and then us breaking up. That was a horrible volatile relationship anyway

ghostmess posted...

Couldn't stop staring at the face my last gf had tattooed on her arm during a bj, which led to her getting upset with me for not staying hard and then us breaking up. That was a horrible volatile relationship anyway

What was the face? I kind of like this story.

The worst for me is farting during the act. One time I ripped a nasty one at the end when she was...down there.
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pogo_rabid posted...

The worst for me is farting during the act. One time I ripped a nasty one at the end when she was...down there.

Did you ever see the late 90s/early 00s porn site fart hammer? There was a "reality porn" that literally made its views off of a dude farting in womens' faces.

Lost my virginity on a bathroom floor at a house party. Halfway through the smash bros ultimate, her friend burst in the room with a fucking video camera. Lost my sideways smash ability and walked off the edge of the screen.
Was still pretty cool.
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6. In '17 I met up with two girls off of Craigslist. They were from Rhode Island, I think? Visiting Cleveland. They were both the kind of girls who would use tons of social media, were friends with mumble rappers, etc. I ended up kind of becoming friends with them, and they dug me a lot. We hung out a second time and I gave them a tour of Cleveland. They also were telling me about robbing other dudes while they were in town, but that they wouldn't rob me because I was the only cool guy they ran into.

PoopPotato posted...

Lost my virginity on a bathroom floor at a house party. Halfway through the smash bros ultimate, her friend burst in the room with a fucking video camera. Lost my sideways smash ability and walked off the edge of the screen.
Was still pretty cool.

That's p cool, actually. More cool than awkward. Not for your first, though.

bobbaaay posted...

ghostmess posted...

Couldn't stop staring at the face my last gf had tattooed on her arm during a bj, which led to her getting upset with me for not staying hard and then us breaking up. That was a horrible volatile relationship anyway

What was the face? I kind of like this story.

I asked her about it before that happened and it was supposed to be like a Victorian era jilted bride/spinster. It was ugly and I couldn't stop looking at it.

7. In '12 I met up with a suuuuper smokin' blonde (by conventional standards). My coworker told me he literally wanted to kill himself thinking such an attractive girl would have sex with me, and all he could get was "fatties." She was super weird about when I could head over and when I had to leave. I'm assuming she was married? Either way - I couldn't keep it up and I ruined that one opportunity. I tried to ask her to meet up a second time and she just kind of ignored me politely and was very short with me.

ghostmess posted...

bobbaaay posted...

ghostmess posted...

Couldn't stop staring at the face my last gf had tattooed on her arm during a bj, which led to her getting upset with me for not staying hard and then us breaking up. That was a horrible volatile relationship anyway

What was the face? I kind of like this story.

I asked her about it before that happened and it was supposed to be like a Victorian era jilted bride/spinster. It was ugly and I couldn't stop looking at it.

lol. Not what I'd expected, but humorous nonetheless.

one time I told a chick I liked her on MSN messenger but she said she didn't like me that way
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catboy0_0 posted...

one time I told a chick I liked her on MSN messenger but she said she didn't like me that way

Savage.
In '02 I was a Sophmore in High School and had a crush on some chick, and I ended up making an Angelfire site confessing my love to her and talking about my depression and suicidal ideation. She felt bad for me one minute and began talking to me - and next minute she showed her parents and I was sent to the guidance counselor and forced into years of therapy.

WhinyZach posted...

when you woke up from these dreams tc, what cereal did you eat?

Why would they be dreams? Do my stories actually sound pleasant? The only "good" stories here are the married blonde and the RN -- and I didn't actually get it in with either.

I ripped a little bit where my foreskin meets up with the head of my penis. All the way around, due to friction.

It hurt for like a week, bled a bit. Didnt stop having sex, but slowed down some.
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When you say poly TC do you mean polyamorous?
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Skywalker82 posted...

When you say poly TC do you mean polyamorous?

yes. or open relationships I should've said, cause the one woman in the country wasn't looking for anything other than sex. The married woman did want a male fwb.