Current Events > Sister wants me to drive 20 hours just to help her move out

(+) Yeah! (+)

What do?

I cant fly because she wants some of her furniture of out her storage so Ill be driving with a U-Haul trailer attached to my car. Its a 20 hour drive. Why cant she just hire movers?According to her, why hire movers when she can have me do it?

Lets keep in mind that she lives on the third floor and there are no elevators. Also, my father is supposed to come but hes nearly 60 and has back problems so Id be doing most of the heavy lifting.

Thats a long drive, man. I wont be doing it alone but to do that drive on Thursday then again on Sunday? Ill be fucked. We wont be stopping for the night, either. If I dont go, then itll just be my father helping her and Ill feel like an asshole. This isnt happening until late June so Ive got time to decide. Its just the drive. Most Ive done is 12 hours and that was rough.
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sounds inconsiderate. why not just drive there, then get a u haul?
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Who else she got to help?
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BuckVanHammer posted...

sounds inconsiderate. why not just drive there, then get a u haul?

She has furniture here in Ohio that she wants us to bring to her.
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TheoryzC posted...

Who else she got to help?

No one but us.
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Dude, that's bullshit. I would just hire movers. It's ridiculous to ask you and your father to drive 20 hours to help her move her shit. At your father's age, that is an injury waiting to happen. Professional movers would have the tools and strength to move heavy items easily. It's might cost a bit, but it's better than getting hurt.

Maybe you can offer to move the light stuff as compromise. Or when you get there, hire some people to help you move the furniture from the U-haul to her place. But I wouldn't let your dad help with his back problems.

Fly there and then rent a truck.

Is she hot?
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The_Scarecrow posted...

BuckVanHammer posted...

sounds inconsiderate. why not just drive there, then get a u haul?

She has furniture here in Ohio that she wants us to bring to her.

Too bad. Sell the furniture. Its probably garbage, anyway.

brotrrwinner posted...

Is she hot?

She doesnt have anyone else to help her move. She is not hot at all.

The_Scarecrow posted...

BuckVanHammer posted...

sounds inconsiderate. why not just drive there, then get a u haul?

She has furniture here in Ohio that she wants us to bring to her.

ah, gotcha. would she do it for you if you asked for the same thing?
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NeoShadowhen posted...

Fly there and then rent a truck.

this.

if you just show up out of nowhere, what changes other than having two there that are going to do the storage move on the go.

you have a time limit. this is a project therefore planning is important.

just how much stuff is in the storage?
does it really need to be taken somewhere else?
is selling it possible?

these are things you need to ask before going there. even a single pic of the storage can help you determine the size of uhaul truck to use.

i too recommend to fly there because thats a drive you dont need to do until youre ready to haul that stuff out.
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CommonStar posted...

Dude, that's bullshit. I would just hire movers. It's ridiculous to ask you and your father to drive 20 hours to help her move her shit. At your father's age, that is an injury waiting to happen. Professional movers would have the tools and strength to move heavy items easily. It's might cost a bit, but it's better than getting hurt.

Maybe you can offer to move the light stuff as compromise. Or when you get there, hire some people to help you move the furniture from the U-haul to her place. But I wouldn't let your dad help with his back problems.

I even offered to help her pay for professional movers but shes set on having us to do it. Makes no sense. I wouldnt mind if she was even a few hours away but thats pretty far.

NeoShadowhen posted...

The_Scarecrow posted...

BuckVanHammer posted...

sounds inconsiderate. why not just drive there, then get a u haul?

She has furniture here in Ohio that she wants us to bring to her.

Too bad. Sell the furniture. Its probably garbage, anyway.

Its just an old dining room set and many boxes containing various items. We were going to get rid of it all but she wants it.

NeoShadowhen posted...

brotrrwinner posted...

Is she hot?

She doesnt have anyone else to help her move. She is not hot at all.

Lots of guys find my sister very attractive. Ive been asked a few times by dudes if I could get my sister to hook up with them.
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I drove 17 hours from Austin, TX to Orlando, FL

Would not recommend
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She says 'why hire movers when you can do it?' Well that implies that your services are free. What are you getting out of this? I wouldn't do this for free for anyone, and you have to drive 20 hours too? Pass.

BuckVanHammer posted...

The_Scarecrow posted...

BuckVanHammer posted...

sounds inconsiderate. why not just drive there, then get a u haul?

She has furniture here in Ohio that she wants us to bring to her.

ah, gotcha. would she do it for you if you asked for the same thing?

She wouldnt. She would call me crazy and tell me to get someone from the local area to help out. When its the other way around, it makes sense to her.
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I would not do this. Offer to help pay for the movers again and if she says no, that's on her. Just because you're family doesn't mean you're a slave.
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Ship the boxes, fly out there and rent a truck. The dining room set can meet an unfortunate accident in the coming weeks.

That is not a feasible drive to make in one day. You are literally gambling with your life at that point.

There are consequences for moving so far away from your support system. She is being unreasonable.

ocelot51 posted...

She says 'why hire movers when you can do it?' Well that implies that your services are free. What are you getting out of this? I wouldn't do this for free for anyone, and you have to drive 20 hours too? Pass.

I asked her what I would get out of it if I did this. Her response was Um, who do I look like?. At best, shell buy us dinner.
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Does she help you with stuff?
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karlpilkington4 posted...

Does she help you with stuff?

This. You don't have to help her just cause shes family. But if she's helpful to you then you'd kind of be a dick to not do it , if you're not doing anything else important.
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Driving 20 hours is pretty crazy to help with a chore. Maybe ship the furniture to her and pay for movers to help her there

Should tell her you'd help her get everything loaded and whatnot, but driving 20 hours one way to move like 5 items sounds stupid. Tell her to get professionals to do it (and it sounds like you're willing to help with that) or to get someone else to do it. It sucks, but 20 hours is a huge ass commitment. Almost 2 days of just driving.
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sktgamer_13dude posted...

Should tell her you'd help her get everything loaded and whatnot, but driving 20 hours one way to move like 5 items sounds stupid. Tell her to get professionals to do it (and it sounds like you're willing to help with that) or to get someone else to do it. It sucks, but 20 hours is a huge ass commitment. Almost 2 days of just driving.

4 days of driving round trip. FUCK that.

Also if you do decide to do this please do not drive 20 hours straight with no sleep. Your gonna kill somebody or yourself
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She is incredibly inconsiderate of both you and your dad to ask for that. Don't do it, tell her to take care of it herself.
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That is pretty obscene.

Like except for weddings, funerals and the like I would consider it almost rude to even ask.

100% so if not offering to pay for any gas/lodgings/etc.
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No thank you
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The_Scarecrow posted...

I even offered to help her pay for professional movers but shes set on having us to do it. Makes no sense. I wouldnt mind if she was even a few hours away but thats pretty far.

Put your foot down and tell her your stance on this. Especially if she's not paying you for your time and long journey, either.
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NeoShadowhen posted...

Fly there and then rent a truck.

This. Can she cover your flight?
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BCAM1984 posted...

NeoShadowhen posted...

Fly there and then rent a truck.

This. Can she cover your flight?

If she had enough to pay for their flight, she would have enough to hire movers.

TC tell her you cant help her and if she asks why, say the drive there and back is too demanding and that your father is in no shape to be doing heavy lifting. It sounds like it would be basically you and her doing the lifting and lets be honest, how much help would she be in a situation like this.

Tell her to hire professional movers like others have suggested or do the moving on her own.
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NeoShadowhen posted...

brotrrwinner posted...

Is she hot?

She doesnt have anyone else to help her move. She is not hot at all.

Good deduction lol
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The_Scarecrow posted...

Lots of guys find my sister very attractive. Ive been asked a few times by dudes if I could get my sister to hook up with them.

Then she can have them move her shit.
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Tell her to kick rocks
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Conflict posted...

Your family sounds toxic as all hell, especially your sister. f*** them.

lol bit of an over reaction you ca always tell the kids that come from broken homes with comments like this
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if she was a step-sister i'd see a reason to do it, if you know what i mean

Crepes posted...

Conflict posted...

Your family sounds toxic as all hell, especially your sister. f*** them.

lol bit of an over reaction you ca always tell the kids that come from broken homes with comments like this

lol
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she should pay for your plane ticket out there and truck rental.
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your sister sounds horrible and selfish
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her
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Conflict posted...

CADE FOSTER posted...

Crepes posted...

Conflict posted...

Your family sounds toxic as all hell, especially your sister. f*** them.

lol bit of an over reaction you ca always tell the kids that come from broken homes with comments like this

lol

I have that dude on ignore because he spends a large deal of his free time randomly posting movie spoilers but I'll entertain him with a response anyway. Nope, my family is fine. Sounds like you're just projecting

Obviously I'm not saying that solely because his sister demands he help him move. I'm saying that because TC has mentioned before that his family is toxic and has had large negative effects on his mental health

I'm glad he has me on block. Means I'm less likely to have to respond to him. Someone feel free to quote this so he can get his underware in a twist again lol.
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Tell her to fuck of and hire a removalist.
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Lost_All_Senses posted...

karlpilkington4 posted...

Does she help you with stuff?

This. You don't have to help her just cause shes family. But if she's helpful to you then you'd kind of be a dick to not do it , if you're not doing anything else important.

Hm, not really. She only talks to me when she wants something usually. If I want to talk to her, I'll have to contact her first. Otherwise, I won't hear from her for a while. Whenever she does talk to me just for the sake of conversation, she'll complain about it sometimes. "Well, Mom told me I should try and talk to you since it's been a while so here we are". I typically don't enjoy helping my sister out. Last time I did, I spent 6 hours trying to make an excel sheet to her exact liking. Ultimately, she didn't like what I came up with and called me useless which is normal behavior for her.

glitteringfairy posted...

sktgamer_13dude posted...

Should tell her you'd help her get everything loaded and whatnot, but driving 20 hours one way to move like 5 items sounds stupid. Tell her to get professionals to do it (and it sounds like you're willing to help with that) or to get someone else to do it. It sucks, but 20 hours is a huge ass commitment. Almost 2 days of just driving.

4 days of driving round trip. FUCK that.

Also if you do decide to do this please do not drive 20 hours straight with no sleep. Your gonna kill somebody or yourself

I convinced my father to at least stop for the night if we do decide to go through with this so that's good.

Freeney posted...

If she had enough to pay for their flight, she would have enough to hire movers.

TC tell her you cant help her and if she asks why, say the drive there and back is too demanding and that your father is in no shape to be doing heavy lifting. It sounds like it would be basically you and her doing the lifting and lets be honest, how much help would she be in a situation like this.

Tell her to hire professional movers like others have suggested or do the moving on her own.

She'd be no help at all. She can't even do any push ups because of her wrists according to her. It'l be mostly me unfortunately. I'm definitely going to suggest hiring movers again next time I talk to her. If I have to, I will pay for all of it. What's she asking is just insane and I can't, in good conscience, let my father get himself injured if I'm not there. She should have never went to Colorado in the first place but ever since she turned 18, she wants to prove how independent she is.

Conflict posted...

Honestly mate don't even bother

Your family sounds toxic as all hell, especially your sister. Fuck them. No, I don't mean that way. Tell them to handle it themselves and you keep doing your own thing

You gotta break away from those fucks

I'm hoping to leave within the next year. I'd like to get a job to save up even more money but between this and me leaving the country next month, I can't for now. My older brother is dealing with some stuff I don't even know about in England so I'm being sent over there to keep him company for a few weeks. I'd rather not go alone since he has a real bad temper but I'm being guilt tripped hard. I said no at first but then I got the usual "You should be ashamed of yourself" lines.
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^Yeah, don't bother helping her. Respect is a two-way street, and she's not giving what she feels she is entitled to.
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I'm familiar with this sort of attitude from a family member sadly.

She expects you to do it. Inconsiderate. If your dad gets injured she'll say it's your fault for not helping. She's just being cheap.
At the same time a parent who can't say no. Allows themselves to be taken advantage of. Doesn't accept the dangers or their age. Puts themselves at risk. Simply because "Muh kid."
And then there's the manipulation of it because she or both of them assume you'll be worried so you'll do it in the end.

Yep. It's hard at first but the best thing to do is say no and call them out on it.
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Tell her to hire some movers, stop being a cheap-skate.

If she's attractive, there's not shortage of young strong men who would help her out.
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Tell her to hire movers and to pay for it herself, why on earth would you suggest to hire movers for her and pay for it out of your own pocket is something I dont even understand.

Shit man, you dont have to owe her a damn thing. I wouldnt even reach out to her, let her reach out to you and if/when when she does, tell her you and your dad wont be able to make the drive to help with the move. Put some conviction in your voice and dont bend to her demands. If she has a certain day to be out of her current place of residence, she will find a way with out you and your dads help.
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NeoShadowhen posted...

Ship the boxes, fly out there and rent a truck. The dining room set can meet an unfortunate accident in the coming weeks.

That is not a feasible drive to make in one day. You are literally gambling with your life at that point.

There are consequences for moving so far away from your support system. She is being unreasonable.

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