Poll of the Day > Does moving out of your parent's place just to move out seem wasteful?

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I can understand moving out of your parent's place if you don't get along with them, if you feel its too cramped, if you want to be with friends, if you want your own place, if you want a shorter commute to work/school, if you want that alone time with your boy/girlfriend, if the cost of living is too high, if you're buying your own condo/house, etc. I feel these are all practical reasons to move out.

But the one I can't understand, and maybe never will, is moving out just to show you're capable of living on your own and standing on your own two feet. Who exactly are you trying to prove yourself to? Yourself? Your parents? Your friends? Society as a whole?

I can understand being independent is part of being an adult but I would assume being financially smart is also part of being an adult. Am I missing something here? Some feel being an adult and being independent mean purposely spending more money on rent?

Maybe my views are too narrow but I feel some are suggesting you must be willingly and purposely spend more money on rent, utility, etc. to show you're a capable adult. Disclaimer. I'm aware some folks cannot afford to buy their own condo/house so rent is their only options. But as mentioned above, I can understand there's a time and place when moving out and renting makes sense.

Comments and opinions are appreciated,

Thank you
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Its a weird norm that has been around for a little. There was more of a reason wars ago, but not as much these days. And the US is changing. More people are staying with their parents for longer these days. Other countries were already doing it. I think the UK was a big example. I think many were staying with their parents until there was a time to move. Even my younger brother still lives with our mom. And a co-worker of mine and his brother were living with their mom until she recently passed away. I think its fine. Live with them until you have a reason not to, tbh...
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Having your own space is great

But no when those thousands of dollars couldve went somewhere else

I miss having my own room tho
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Its different for everybody. If you get along with your family and everyone is ok with you living at home, then nowadays it makes a lot of sense to not move out on your own.

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At least if you ever want to date anyone, like you said.

Paying rent to your parents isn't going to be that much cheaper than rooming with someone. That way you're not doing chores and running errands either.
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Yellow posted...

At least if you ever want to date anyone, like you said.

Paying rent to your parents isn't going to be that much cheaper than rooming with someone. That way you're not doing chores and running errands either.

It depends on how you pay them. Its much cheaper for my brother, as he just helps her out with what she needs, rather than having to pay half of everything all the time. So, it could be much cheaper... And he still has his GF. But, dating wouldnt be bad if the other person had their own place...
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InfestedAdam posted...

But the one I can't understand, and maybe never will, is moving out just to show you're capable of living on your own and standing on your own two feet.

That does seem pointless assuming your parents are fine with you staying under their roof.
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yes, it does. if you hate your parents or they are like too clingy and shit fine, but if you like them and they arent kicking you out, to me, moving out just to move out does seem wasteful.

but everybody has their own thing going on.

Thank you for the responses. Thinking on it a bit further, I can see how getting too comfortable living at home can potentially lead to other issues (i.e. not seeking a better job that is too far to commute, being too loose with money, etc.) but I'll agree with you folks that everyone has their own reasons to stay or move out even if their reasons may not seem practical to others.

I have seen some folks stated on PotD that there is no reason to stay at home once you have a stable income. That thought plus the other topic about retiring just got me thinking as to why one would essentially leave arbitrarily unless one actually has a reason to.
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It's a weird divide among my friends. One person in particular talks down on everyone that lives with their parents (all the while complaining about bills and student loans). She basically forced her boyfriend to move out of his parents (he didn't really care where he was living, but she was paying less rent than her previous place, so it came out as win for her). I remember her saying something along the lines of, "Who got you to finally move out of your parents?" as if he should be grateful. They're not together anymore.

There's also a weird split within the ones who live with their parents. Some of them pay rent and some do not. I don't think we really talk about why.

But I feel like it's a cultural difference.
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If you have to pay your parents, just move out. If you're actively in school or under 25, stay home. Otherwise I think you should move out. Part of being an adult is learning how to manage a household. Even if it's as simple as an apartment, you still have to deal with rent, management, utilities, etc. It's part of establishing a basepoint for managing your own life and finances.

Not to mention the stuff that your parents might still be doing for you while you live with them - laundry, cooking, etc.

That's not to say you should necessarily be ashamed to live at home, particularly in times of hardship, but I think it's important. The relationship thing is a major part of that though.
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Smarkil posted...

If you have to pay your parents, just move out. If you're actively in school or under 25, stay home. Otherwise I think you should move out. Part of being an adult is learning how to manage a household. Even if it's as simple as an apartment, you still have to deal with rent, management, utilities, etc. It's part of establishing a basepoint for managing your own life and finances.

Not to mention the stuff that your parents might still be doing for you while you live with them - laundry, cooking, etc.

That's not to say you should necessarily be ashamed to live at home, particularly in times of hardship, but I think it's important. The relationship thing is a major part of that though.

While I agree with some of this, I think the first part depends on how much you are paying then vs income. You could be paying them not much because you arent making much. And it would be hard, if not impossible, to live on your own...
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SpeedDemon20 posted...

But I feel like it's a cultural difference.

Aye. Think among Asians, staying at home with your parents till you're married isn't out of the norm if there isn't other reasons to move out.

Smarkil posted...

If you have to pay your parents, just move out.

That's where I'm at a lost in understanding this mindset. As mentioned previously, I feel there needs to be a practical reason to move out. Moving out just to move out is a waste of money and being financially smart is part of being an adult in my opinion. It's like what some folks have stated previous, everyone is bound to have different reasons. There's no one-size-fit-all answer to whether or not to stay at home/move out in my opinion.

Smarkil posted...

Part of being an adult is learning how to manage a household. Even if it's as simple as an apartment, you still have to deal with rent, management, utilities, etc. It's part of establishing a basepoint for managing your own life and finances.

I will agree living at home does offer a cushion which can potentially hinders one ability to learn and experience the concepts you've mentioned. But it isn't like one can only learn such concepts while living away. Some of us do contribute or take over on bills, property tax, home insurance, etc. while also maintaining the house.
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There are certainly benefits to moving out beyond the perks of a more convenient location. Some of these nuances aren't really appreciated until somebody lives completely on their own for the first time. However, I'll agree that it doesn't necessarily make fiscal sense for a lot of young people to move out, but at the same time young people tend to squander what they save by living with their parents.
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InfestedAdam posted...

SpeedDemon20 posted...

But I feel like it's a cultural difference.

Aye. Think among Asians, staying at home with your parents till you're married isn't out of the norm if there isn't other reasons to move out.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Most of my friends are Asian. The one that talked down to everyone was white.
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There's nothing wrong with staying at home as long as you're parents are cool with it - the guilt of being a burden will continue, even if contributing.
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