Current Events > Dying of anxiety, interview coming soon

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There are a few things. I'm 28 now, graduated from a pretty good college that I worked my ass off getting into then got burnt out, not accomplishing much there to advance a career. So I took some pretty shitty jobs that had its ups and downs but mostly downs, even had some terrible staffing agency trying to take advantage of a grad with a big college name attached to it. They kept trying to get me to lie to get me into places that I wasn't qualified to work in so that they can take a huge pie off the salary. After a while, I had enough and took on programming, but I couldn't find a job there either, been at it for 3 years, took a bootcamp at general assembly that didn't even remotely prepare me, having gotten 2 contractors jobs within the time where I was mostly a one-man team.

Meanwhile my 2nd job that I was in til about a month ago said they couldn't pay me anymore. Every company I've been to ran into a lot of roadblocks in part due to my inability to pass a certain wall in terms of learning (doing android development atm) and the management being incompetent. But it sucked to be in about 4 projects now that I've poured everything into, actually finished, and then just get dumped because nobody had any idea how to prevent scope creep and actually monetize apps.

Fell deeper into depression to the point of consider ending it, once caught a flu that refused to end for 3 weeks. So I've not been studying or preparing for a while, then a call comes in. Experian, who I once interviewed for and then got rejected for being too inexperienced, decided to give me a 2nd try I guess. But currently I can't remember anything. I tried to look at subject matter to study and I just freeze up. It scares me and actually pains me to read all this stuff. I don't wanna go in there and just get rejected again because it still wasn't enough. Don't wanna work for another start up that's gonna spit at my hard work either, so this kinda feels like a last chance kinda thing to work at a place worth a damn. Job listing for Android Dev has been meager at best or several hundreds of miles away that I can't afford to move to.

Been having family troubles too. I had about 2 days to study, had to spend one of those days putting out figurative fires happening with my family that's been ongoing for a while. A lot of screaming, throwing, large noises. I spent today suffering from it and the anxiety and hopelessness of my interview. My friends are all just happily working, already have a few guys that don't wanna speak to me anymore cuz I tried to open up to them. Nobody to talk to. I don't have much of a healthcare and therapies are too expensive with not enough in my savings especially since I have big student loans and car loans and bills. I guess I'm desperate enough to just post it here.

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Might want to do some quick edits friend.

Just say getting really depressed.

• besides that get the hell away from family and spend what time you have brushing up, do whatever you need to so you are relaxed as possible. If you are intelligent enough to do all that it is certainly possible for you to get through this.

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i been there, i get it. if you need to talk feel free to PM me.

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Anxiety fucking sucks, man. You just gotta remember that it's not a last chance, even if it feels that way. Try to go into the interview with that mindset, even if you have to convince yourself of it. But it is the truth... I mean, you're 28.

Another thing to remember is that everyone operates on their own time, their own clock. Don't compare yourself to your friends. In 10 years it won't matter.

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