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DevsBro 03/11/20 8:19:03 AM #1: |
1. Only 29 chapters of the book of Proverbs are confirmed to have been written by Solomon (though this wasn't the entirety of his work). Chapter 30 was written by someone referred to as "Agur, son of Jakeh" and chapter 31 was written by a guy referred to as "King Lemuel," and is credited within the text itself to his mother. Nobody is quite sure who these guys are, though there are, of course, theories for each, including the possibility that both were actually Solomon.
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DevsBro 03/11/20 8:29:32 AM #2: |
2. "An eye for an eye" was actually a merciful punishment methodology. Thereunto in the story, retaliation--even by Israelites--is overwhelmingly disproportionate, as when Jacob's sons kill an entire town in retaliation for the assault of their sister or when Moses killed an Egyptian for beating a slave. Jesus would later explain that the law of Moses was a concession and raise the expectation to the famous "turn the other cheek" methodology.
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UnfairRepresent 03/11/20 8:30:23 AM #3: |
3. There are non canonical holy books with fucking dragons in them that jesus befriends
--- ^ Hey now that's completely unfair! https://imgur.com/yPw05Ob ... Copied to Clipboard!
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DevsBro 03/11/20 9:21:51 AM #4: |
UnfairRepresent posted...
3. There are non canonical holy books with fucking dragons in them that jesus befriendsWell this isn't actually about the Bible, but this does remind me: 3. In the book of Job, there is reference to two creatures, Behemoth and Leviathan, whose descriptions match more closely to a brontosaurus and some kind of sea dragon (respectively) than any known animal alive today. Behemoth could possibly refer to an elephant if we assume there's some exaggeration (its tail is said to be the size of a tree), but Leviathan can't really be anything we still have today. --- 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Mr_E_Man 03/11/20 9:24:21 AM #5: |
Crazy. It's almost like it's a group of stories to teach morals instead of actual happenings.
--- Who is he? It's a mystery. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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DevsBro 03/11/20 9:27:26 AM #6: |
Mr_E_Man posted...
Crazy. It's almost like it's a group of stories to teach morals instead of actual happenings.Actually, they don't even make an actual appearance; they're just spoken of. But the presentation doesn't make a lot of sense if we assume they're just mythological or whatever the ancient equivalent of pop culture is. --- 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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UnfairRepresent 03/11/20 9:36:57 AM #7: |
DevsBro posted...
Well this isn't actually about the Bible Kinda is considering it was nearly part of the canon like saying deleted scenes aren't part of discussing a movie --- ^ Hey now that's completely unfair! https://imgur.com/yPw05Ob ... Copied to Clipboard!
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ThyCorndog 03/11/20 9:42:45 AM #8: |
DevsBro posted...
Actually, they don't even make an actual appearance; they're just spoken of. But the presentation doesn't make a lot of sense if we assume they're just mythological or whatever the ancient equivalent of pop culture is.It makes more sense than those things actually happening though --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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DevsBro 03/11/20 9:43:13 AM #9: |
4. The plagues of Egypt were each a direct confrontation of a particular Egyptian god.
Turning the Nile to blood - Hapi, god of the Nile Frogs - Heket, goddess of fertility, who had the head of a frog Lice from the dust of the Earth - Geb, god of the Earth Flies - Khepri, god of creation, who had the head of a fly Death of livestock - Hathor, goddess of love and protection, who had the head of a cow Boils and sores - Isis, goddess of medicine Hail - Nut, goddess of the sky Locusts - Seth, god of disorder Darkness - Ra, god of the sun Death of the firstborn - Pharaoh, who was considered a god --- 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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ThyCorndog 03/11/20 9:46:21 AM #10: |
DevsBro posted...
4. The plagues of Egypt were each a direct confrontation of a particular Egyptian god.Huh, that's pretty interesting --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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The Nintendo Master 03/11/20 9:54:20 AM #11: |
5. Ezekiel 23:20
--- He who laughs last thinks slowest. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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UnfairRepresent 03/11/20 9:55:21 AM #12: |
DevsBro posted...
3. In the book of Job, there is reference to two creatures, Behemoth and Leviathan, whose descriptions match more closely to a brontosaurus https://youtu.be/GdCrPkuAoag --- ^ Hey now that's completely unfair! https://imgur.com/yPw05Ob ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Mistere Man 03/11/20 9:59:45 AM #13: |
The Nintendo Master posted...
5. Ezekiel 23:20https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Pdl5hFxdGs&t=43 --- Water+Fall=Radiation. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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DevsBro 03/11/20 10:06:19 AM #14: |
The Nintendo Master posted...
5. Ezekiel 23:20Yep. The Bible is blunt a lot of times. In this particular instance, though, the passage is a metaphor for Israel's idolatry. God is comparing his relationship with Israel to a marriage, and their idolatry with adultery. --- 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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The Trent 03/11/20 10:08:16 AM #15: |
6. The first published bible.was bound entirely in sheep foreskins. It took 12 sheep to cover the holy tome.
--- i swear to God most of y'all cats just don't know The Trent you barely know yourself so i guess most of y'all should be offended ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Returning_CEmen 03/11/20 10:21:23 AM #16: |
Tag
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DevsBro 03/11/20 10:29:07 AM #17: |
5. After famously being used to defeat the Midianites, which is the part of the story we remember, Gideon then took it upon himself to destroy his own allied town out of spite for not assisting him in chasing down their king. Bonus points because God had intentionally trimmed down his numbers anyway, and Gideon even knew that's what he was doing.
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DoGCyN 03/11/20 10:30:07 AM #18: |
Six. Jeremiah is the longest book
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SquantoZ 03/11/20 10:35:31 AM #19: |
Which part of the bible includes Jesus riding into battle on top of a T-Rex?
--- "Context Matters" ... Copied to Clipboard!
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spanky1 03/11/20 10:36:06 AM #20: |
Ooh! Ooh! Do David and his giant pile of human foreskins!
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DevsBro 03/11/20 10:45:37 AM #21: |
spanky1 posted...
Ooh! Ooh! Do David and his giant pile of human foreskins!Yep. 6. David, the man after God's own heart, purchased his first wife by killing 200 Philistines and cutting their foreskins off to present to Saul, who at that time was king. This was after already killing the giant Goliath, which was supposed to be the sole condition for eligibility to wed her. Saul would then rewed her (or rather "give her") to some other dude just because he hated David. He was jealous of David's popularity after killing Goliath and also afraid because God had selected David to be his successor. --- 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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spanky1 03/11/20 11:00:58 AM #22: |
I always imagine a giant pile of dick skin just sitting in this throne room and everyone is looking at it like, yep, that's a lot of foreskins, and david is just standing there all proud and shit.
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Damn_Underscore 03/11/20 11:37:56 AM #23: |
- The Hebrew Bible is in a different order than the Christian Old Testament. The Hebrew Bible is also called the Tanakh as an abbreviation for its three parts, Torah (Law), Nevi'im (Prophets) and Ketuvim (Writings). The Hebrew Bible ends with the Book of Chronicles. The Christian Bible ends with the Book of Malachi, who is a prophet. The modern order of the Christian Bible (including certain books being split into two) is from the Greek translation of the Old Testament, the Septuagint.
- The modern verse and chapter order for the Old Testament was created by a rabbi named Nathan in the 15th century. In the 16th century a printer named Robertus Stephanus created the modern New Testament chapter and verse order and used Nathan's order for the Old Testament, and that is what we still use today. - Expanding on what someone said before, the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Bibles have extra books in their canon. See this list: https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deuterocanonical_books --- Shenmue II = best game of all time Shenmue = 2nd best game of all time ... Copied to Clipboard!
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DevsBro 03/11/20 12:06:01 PM #24: |
7. When Jesus said "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me" from the cross, he was definitely referring to Psalm 22, which both prophesies the Messiah and affirms that God is with you no matter how alone you feel. This is clear from the author's providing the actual dialog as well as its translation, which is preserved even in the further translations to English:
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+15%3A34-35&version=NIV https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+22&version=NIV --- 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Returning_CEmen 03/11/20 12:54:17 PM #25: |
TC what is your favorite book of the Bible?
Fav verse? And why for both. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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p-m 03/11/20 12:56:26 PM #26: |
There's a feature length porno version from the 70s
--- 00000000000000000 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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ChrisTaka 03/11/20 12:57:43 PM #27: |
p-m posted...
There's a feature length porno version from the 70s Epic --- Currently Playing: Flame Crest: Triple Homes ... Copied to Clipboard!
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DevsBro 03/11/20 2:03:59 PM #28: |
Returning_CEmen posted...
TC what is your favorite book of the Bible?Proverbs Proverbs 3:19-20 And you wouldn't believe me if I told you why tbh. --- 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Returning_CEmen 03/11/20 2:15:59 PM #29: |
DevsBro posted...
ProverbsTry me, that those are kinda unremarkable verses. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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DevsBro 03/11/20 5:16:20 PM #30: |
Returning_CEmen posted...
those are kinda unremarkable verses.Not at all, when you look at them in the context of John 1. --- 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Damn_Underscore 03/11/20 5:18:45 PM #31: |
my favorite Bible verse right now is 2 Samuel 12
That chapter is the Bible in a nutshell --- Shenmue II = best game of all time Shenmue = 2nd best game of all time ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Firewerx 03/11/20 5:20:38 PM #33: |
spanky1 posted...
I always imagine a giant pile of dick skin just sitting in this throne room and everyone is looking at it like, yep, that's a lot of foreskins, and david is just standing there all proud and shit.I don't often literally laugh out loud when I read stuff online, but that definitely did the trick. XD --- Incinerate ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Dyinglegacy 03/11/20 5:24:03 PM #34: |
Are you a scribe, tc
--- Voted worst user on CE 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, and 2018. Current e-argument streak: 0 wins. 124697 losses. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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DevsBro 03/11/20 5:26:50 PM #35: |
8. Elijah the profit didn't die. He was taken up to heaven in a fiery chariot. Meanwhile, Jesus' friend Lazarus would have to have died twice.
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DevsBro 03/11/20 5:32:49 PM #37: |
DuranOfForcena posted...
do the one about how god sent angels to protect man but they ended up fucking the daughters and birthing a race of giants that god sent the flood in order to wipe outThat one's actually up for debate. There's a pretty compelling argument that the vague wording of "the sons of God" and "the daughters of men" from the passage in question from Genesis 6 refer to the lines of Seth and Cain, respectively, and that the giants just sorta happened just like any given tall dude today. It doesn't offer an explanation of what "nepehlim" are though. --- 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Machete 03/11/20 5:32:54 PM #38: |
69. A bunch of dudes begat a bunch of dudes and they all lived between 69 and 1000 years.
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Gobstoppers12 03/11/20 5:35:28 PM #39: |
DevsBro posted...
Khepri, god of creation, who had the head of a flyImagine being this poor God. Everybody else gets some kind of noble, revered animal, and you're born as Fly-head McGee. --- I write Naruto Fanfiction. But I am definitely not a furry. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Foppe 03/11/20 5:37:04 PM #40: |
Genesis 38:9
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DevsBro 03/11/20 5:42:40 PM #41: |
9. Abraham was the original cuck. He was married to his sister Sarah, but on at least two occasions, he conveniently omitted the wife part in fear that people would kill him to get to sleep with her. His son Isaac would later attempt the same trick.
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DevsBro 03/11/20 5:45:50 PM #42: |
Foppe posted...
Genesis 38:9Yeah, also a weird one. It was customary when a dude died without having children for his brother to knock up the widow and have the kids be considered the dead guy's kids. But this dude was evidently just taking advantage of the situation. --- 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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obeseexplosive 03/11/20 5:50:35 PM #43: |
Gobstoppers12 posted...
Imagine being this poor God. Everybody else gets some kind of noble, revered animal, and you're born as Fly-head McGee.Don't you talk shit about Brundlefly God --- Skittle farting unicorn in a hot pink tutu. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Foppe 03/11/20 5:54:58 PM #44: |
But what I really like is Judges 19-21.
--- GameFAQs isn't going to be merged in with GameSpot or any other site. We're not going to strip out the soul of the site. -CJayC ... Copied to Clipboard!
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DevsBro 03/11/20 6:00:21 PM #45: |
Foppe posted...
But what I really like is Judges 19-21.Believe it or not, that actually set off an Israeli civil war. --- 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 53 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Gobstoppers12 03/11/20 6:00:23 PM #46: |
obeseexplosive posted...
Don't you talk shit about Brundlefly GodWait it's even worse. It's not even a fly head. It's literally a scarab photoshopped over his face: https://i.imgur.com/TL5vRHi.png --- I write Naruto Fanfiction. But I am definitely not a furry. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Foppe 03/11/20 6:17:05 PM #47: |
DevsBro posted...
Believe it or not, that actually set off an Israeli civil war.I like the ending. What are we doing? This civil war is tearing us apart, we must stop now! Hey, look at that town over there... they didnt send any soldiers to help us in the civil war that we just decided was wrong, so we must punish them by killing every child, man and woman, except for 400 virgin daughters that we will force into marriage! --- GameFAQs isn't going to be merged in with GameSpot or any other site. We're not going to strip out the soul of the site. -CJayC ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Machete 03/11/20 6:24:36 PM #48: |
DevsBro posted...
Nut I always have a chuckle when I see that goddess' name. Also, I've seen ancient paintings of Geb and Nut and Geb is depicted as having a boner that's almost as long as his leg lol --- https://talktotransformer.com The Internet is kind of the whole ****ing Internet. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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DevsBro 03/11/20 9:09:27 PM #49: |
10. There's a whole book of the Bible (Ecclesiastes) dedicated to the idea that life often doesn't make sense, bad things happen to good people and vice-verse, you'll have a really hard time making sense of it or accomplishing anything and the solution is pretty much Hakunah Matata. And it's written by Solomon, the same guy who wrote Proverbs. Which has pretty much the exact opposite message.
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obeseexplosive 03/12/20 1:47:36 AM #50: |
Gobstoppers12 posted...
Wait it's even worse. It's not even a fly head.That God doesn't even make sense. I understand the other heads but come on man. At least give him a scarab's head for a head not just a literal scarab for a head --- Skittle farting unicorn in a hot pink tutu. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Smackems 03/12/20 2:01:01 AM #51: |
Interesting stuff tc. You know your shit
--- Common sense is the most uncommon thing in the world-some dude. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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