Current Events > Is it okay for a 41 year old to be in a serious relationship w/ an 18 year old?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Is it okay for a 41 year old to be in a serious romantic relationship w/ an 18 year old?

Legally or morally?
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no

find someone 30+

if you just wanna bang thats another thing though

18 is 18. Anyone who has issues is jealous.

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SomeLikeItHoth posted...

18 is 18. Anyone who has issues is jealous.

Dude I gotta say I Hella appreciate you saying the exact wrong thing in every thread so ppl know what the right thing is

Keep fighting the good fight brother

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While I won't stop you, I would still find dating someone who's young enough to be your daughter/son to be eyebrow-raising. And a possible sign of a mid-life crisis.

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aka Henry Cavilling it?

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Not long term

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Don't care, not my business.
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i mean its legal so i guess so.

but its still weird. 17 to 18 isnt grown up and culturally there would be problems.

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Technically it's legal but nine times out of 10 morally wrong with people together for terrible reasons

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Their business. As long as it's legal, whatever.

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Is it OK? Youre not breaking any laws. If its fine with both parties, then whotf am I to tell you who to date?

personally I think its weird, but my opinion doesnt matter.

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Only if theyve been in a coma for a couple decades

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Would be weird but not unethical

I'm not sure how a 41 year old would relate to someone that young

Bang? Nah.

Serious relationship? If you're 41 and your ideal serious relationship involves someone who could still be in high school, you probably shouldn't date.

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99/100 times, it's not okay. You're a grown ass man fucking with someone who's only just started being considered an adult. There's an emotional and social gap between a 40-something year old and an 18 year old fresh out of high school

Would you take your 18 year old self seriously? I would assume that most of you wouldn't, since even at 18 you still behave like a dumbass kid and have a lot of growing to do. Even if you think your 18 year old self was on the right track, and you still exemplify the values that your younger self lived by, I think anyone would admit that their approach to life has changed significantly since they got older.

Like, as a grown adult, why do you want to date someone who's only just stopped being considered a child in the eyes of the law? It's creepy. If you're gonna date young, date someone in their mid-20's, who can at least say they've had real life experience as an adult and that they know what they want out of a partner. There's probably still a bit of an imbalance, especially if you're fucking drunk party girls instead of dating like career-oriented people making the most of the prime of their life, but it's exponentially less creepy than dating 18 year olds.

They still need more time in the oven, chief. Let them date other 18 year olds, or even other 20-something year olds, to soak up some of that life experience with people who are close to them in age and life experience themselves.

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I would say so. If it's just a hook up that's another thing (though still somewhat weird).. but a serious relationship would seem crazy to me.

When I was 26 this girl I worked with who was 19 wanted to date and I turned her down solely cause of where someone that age is in life. They're just about to enter that party stage when I was exiting it. So if i didn't see it working when I was 26 I can't imagine it being any better at age 41. I just can't put myself in that mindset.

There's so much people who are 18 just don't understand yet (though they think they know everything and can't even comprehend that).

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Sure, why not?

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Deja Blue 03 posted...

I would say so. If it's just a hook up that's another thing (though still somewhat weird).. but a serious relationship would seem crazy to me.

When I was 26 this girl I worked with who was 19 wanted to date and I turned her down solely cause of where someone that age is in life. They're just about to enter that party stage when I was exiting it. So if i didn't see it working when I was 26 I can't imagine it being any better at age 41. I just can't put myself in that mindset.

There's so much people who are 18 just don't understand yet (though they think they know everything and can't even comprehend that).

Interestingly enough I almost dated someone with this same exact age gap. It didn't work because of distance, but it would have been perfect because we were into the same things, she wasn't a party person, worked helping out the elderly and what has been more than willing to accept my physical disability in a relationship. She still is one of the most mature people I have ever known

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It's a bit weird, but honestly as long as there's no power dynamic there (the older person is a teacher or boss or something), they're adults and can do what they want.

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WallStreetWolf posted...

Interestingly enough I almost dated someone with this same exact age gap. It didn't work because of distance, but it would have been perfect because we were into the same things, she wasn't a party person, worked helping out the elderly and what has been more than willing to accept my physical disability in a relationship. She still is one of the most mature people I have ever known

Was she hot?
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It's strange but it's not wrong. If he can manage to tolerate her childish behavior, then hats off to him.


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I had a fling with a girl 6-7 years younger than me and I already felt a slight generational gap. If they haven't worked then they might as well be babies.

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Depends, is the 18 year old still in high school or out of high school / in college?

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let's ask leonardo di caprio

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Yes. Peeps are just jealous if they say otherwise

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I kannot see myself doing it, as I feel it would not meet the requirements I have defined for relationships, therefore no one should do it.

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The_Korey posted...

I kannot see myself doing it...,therefore no one should do it.

fucking tough
get em

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41yo got a huge advantage in life experience over the 18yo that may be used to manipulate her.

a 41 yo gf would have done wonders for my self esteem at that age

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41/2+7=27.5

nope, not cool

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Depends on how mature the 18 year old is...OR if the 41 year old lives young and acts young.

There's a lot of factors. It's not illegal, so it's really none of my business.

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MrMallard posted...

99/100 times, it's not okay. You're a grown ass man fucking with someone who's only just started being considered an adult. There's an emotional and social gap between a 40-something year old and an 18 year old fresh out of high school

That's assuming the 18 year old is fresh out of high school. There are still a lot of 18 year olds still in high school.

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Absolute yes.

GET IT QUEEN!

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I think it's a recipe for a screwed up relationship, but one in which both individuals truly deserve one another. They're both legally adults, let them make this mistake together.


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Legally it's fine but I think that's gross

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jeffhardyb0yz posted...

Ask Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry was dating an 18 year old in his 40's?

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One's a gold digger most likely and the other wants a young trophy partner most likely. Seems like they both get what they want.
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jeffhardyb0yz posted...

When is that even 1/100 okay?

Every rule has its exceptions. Some 18 year olds have old souls, and some 40 year olds are actually interested in having a long term relationship with someone whose personality gels with theirs - so basically, every now and again, you get a person who isn't trying to court an 18 year old because they're drooling at the mouth to fuck some barely legal poon.

Given that personalities don't clash, and that two people can build a mutually respectful relationship where they respect each other's individual lives and each other's growth into different people, an age gap relationship of these proportions might occasionally be appropriate. But there are two factors that get in the way of this.

First of all, not every 18 year old is going to be equipped to handle a relationship with an older person, and vice versa for 40 year olds. On top of that, not every 40 year old is going to approach younger dating prospects with good intentions. The chances of two serious people with complementary personalities and aspirations meeting is low, and the chances of two compatible people with this severe of an age gap meeting is even lower due to what they've experienced in their lives, just through sheer numbers. You might as well throw the chances out the window if you've got a 40 year old who's actively seeking to date 18 year olds, because that's indicating an interest in a type of person based on their age and it's pretty skuzzy.

Secondly, the chances of two complementary people meeting decreases as the age gap grows larger between them. An 18 year old, fresh out of high school, probably has something in common with 19-21 year olds - but even 21 is starting to stretch it in the dating realm. Then you've got people who are leaving college, who are out of college, who've been employed for 10 years, then 25 years etc. The more life experience that older party has, the less stuff they typically have in common with someone who's just graduated high school.

But stretch that 18 into a 22. That person has a few years under their belt, they've been working for a few years and they have some semblance of adult life. That person is more equipped to handle a serious relationship with an older person than an 18 year old is. Even if you age that prospective partner consistent to the younger party - up to 44 - it seems marginally more appropriate for a 22 year old to make that informed, adult decision. They're still separated by the same age gap, but the experience gap has shrunk a little bit.

Let me put it this way - if you've got a 40 year old asking if it's okay to date 18 year olds because they want to expand their dating pool, it probably isn't a good idea. That's an interest in a type - that's targeting inexperienced daters while you've got years of experience in the world. It looks sleazy and opportunistic, and it's unlikely that a meaningful relationship is going to come out of it. The more experienced and autonomous that a person becomes with age, the more likely it is that something good might stem from chatting them up.

If you have a 40 year old who's familiar with an 18 year old in a social setting, and there's a level of attraction that the 40 year old feels is mutual but isn't sure whether to act on or not, they at least have a basic level of forethought and care to be serious about dating a younger person. But this is the exception, not the rule, and even relationships that start like this can be imbalanced from the start. It's all relative, and it's all rule of thumb.

Speaking of rule of thumb - if you've got someone arguing that 40 year olds should be able to date 18 year olds without fear of social stigma, that's a person who probably shouldn't be dating 18 year olds. There's a social stigma for a reason, and that reason is grown ass predators looking to bury some flesh with the bare minimum age of people they can't be arrested for fucking. It's a complicated process, and before someone even thinks about taking part in a relationship like this, there has to be some serious thought put into it. Flippancy and dismissal of the finer details just mean the answer to your question is probably "no".

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Watch out, calling out older men who target significantly younger women is a no no here!

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Probably not.

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I find it interesting that a lot of people are assuming that its an older guy and a younger gal.

Its the easy assumption, but would it change if the lady was the older one? What if theyre both men? Or both women?

Regardless, the correct answer is that a 41 year old can go as low as 27.

Yes. But only if the 41 year old in this situation is the man. A 41 year old woman is too old to have his children.

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Kolibri X posted...

Yes. But only if the 41 year old in this situation is the man. A 41 year old woman is too old to have his children.

I was thinking about this. If it's a 41 year old female, then the chances of the 41 year old female having children with the 18 year old male is very low (which can be a huge deal breaker for a young guy who wants to eventually have kids). However, it's the complete opposite if it's a 41 year old male with an 18 year old female (who in general can have kids very, very easily).

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Morally I'd say no. Legally its fine. None of my business, no my concern.

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As long as they're both happy, why the fuck would I care?

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