Current Events > To Clarify: SHOULD A Man Ask A Woman He's Dating, To Have Sex?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Lets say, there is a guy whose been dating a woman for a week or two. Maybe more. And both parties go in a room, or some other location. Regarding the topic of asking/having verbal consent for sex

A.I was reading The Red Pill Reddit section, and see responses such as

"Asking A woman for sex is lame"

"no, it's called nonverbal cues, you douche"

" Women will lose respect if you need to ask"

B.But then, reading the general section of reddit, or dating sections, I see responses like
"Yes, you must verbally ask for consent"

"Anything besides verbal consent is rape or sexual assault"

and other similar responses.

So I'm confused. As a guy, should I ask a woman I'm dating if it's okay to have sex? Or should I go by non verbal cues?

They grab the weiner first

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It may be "lame," but it will protect you legally. Just ask.

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I'm of the opinion that non-verbal cues can only take you up to a certain point. You better ask before you decide to just stick it in for the first time. Even if you're regularly having sex, it's best to ask first.

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Anything that's a consensus view on Red Pill can be safely discarded.

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If me and a woman I'm seeing are making out/getting hot and heavy and it seems like we're headed towards sex, I'll say something along the lines of "Hey, we'll only go as far as you want to go, if you feel uncomfortable or want me to stop at any point, let me know, and we will."

Every woman I've had sex with has told me they appreciated me saying that/it made them feel much more comfortable.

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You should do what feels right in the moment. Its different in every situation, though most woman prefer a more subtle approach to wanna bang?

Lol at the B responses. If a woman is going all in, its not rape if she doesnt verbally declare were having sex while shes taking your pants off.

Lotta virgins must have been spouting off that have never even been intimate.

Its pretty fuckin obvious that its sexual assault if you just out of nowhere grab her boobs or something, and its obviously rape if youre physically forcing yourself on her. Why people think they need to have these boundaries spelled out when it all falls into being a decent human being.

Go with visual cues. Put your arm around her or touch her hand if you feel youre picking up a signal. How she responds will let you know how shes feeling. If she pulls away, then shes uncomfortable. If she leans in, it means shes feeling close. You go from there. Slow and steady.

Every woman is different.

Youre really gonna believe the red pill subreddit.

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Both parties should also sign a waiver drafted by a neutral third party.

Jk

The only people worried about this are creepers. If a possible rape accusation scares you, maybe stop being a douche. That shit doesn't happen to normal, decent people. I know there are exceptions

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Kensaimage posted...

You should do what feels right in the moment. Its different in every situation, though most woman prefer a more subtle approach to wanna bang?

Lol at the B responses. If a woman is going all in, its not rape if she doesnt verbally declare were having sex while shes taking your pants off.

Lotta virgins must have been spouting off that have never even been intimate.

Its pretty fuckin obvious that its sexual assault if you just out of nowhere grab her boobs or something, and its obviously rape if youre physically forcing yourself on her. Why people think they need to have these boundaries spelled out when it all falls into being a decent human being.

Go with visual cues. Put your arm around her or touch her hand if you feel youre picking up a signal. How she responds will let you know how shes feeling. If she pulls away, then shes uncomfortable. If she leans in, it means shes feeling close. You go from there. Slow and steady.

Every woman is different.

Yep, go with the flow.

WafflehouseJK posted...

If me and a woman I'm seeing are making out/getting hot and heavy and it seems like we're headed towards sex, I'll say something along the lines of "Hey, we'll only go as far as you want to go, if you feel uncomfortable or want me to stop at any point, let me know, and we will."

Every woman I've had sex with has told me they appreciated me saying that/it made them feel much more comfortable.

Mods don't have sex. I thought that was in the agreement

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Time_Rider posted...

Mods don't have sex. I thought that was in the agreement

I'm a rebel.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZ3QHTpMZgQ

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Yes, getting consent is what you want to do.

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Beyond of the hopefully obvious fact that, you know, mutual consent is necessary; the best approach should be based on your own relationship and the person you're with. It's not like there's some magic, legally binding phrase that you need to use every time.

You must ask every single time before the act takes place, it basic sex etiquette.

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Kazi1212 posted...

You must ask every single time before the act takes place, it basic sex etiquette.

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Kensaimage posted...

You should do what feels right in the moment. Its different in every situation, though most woman prefer a more subtle approach to wanna bang?

Lol at the B responses. If a woman is going all in, its not rape if she doesnt verbally declare were having sex while shes taking your pants off.

Lotta virgins must have been spouting off that have never even been intimate.

Its pretty fuckin obvious that its sexual assault if you just out of nowhere grab her boobs or something, and its obviously rape if youre physically forcing yourself on her. Why people think they need to have these boundaries spelled out when it all falls into being a decent human being.

Go with visual cues. Put your arm around her or touch her hand if you feel youre picking up a signal. How she responds will let you know how shes feeling. If she pulls away, then shes uncomfortable. If she leans in, it means shes feeling close. You go from there. Slow and steady.

Every woman is different.

Pretty much all that-- I've never been with a woman where it wasn't obvious if we were going to bang or not. Then again, I don't do random hook ups.

All physical contact should be preceded by verbal consent. Hugging your wife without her express verbal consent is rape.

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Just ask "this ok" or something. You don't need to bring your lawyer in the bedroom (unless y'all are into that)

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If she's about to fuck, it's unlikely she will change her mind by confirming she wants to imo.

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Nothing gets a girl wetter then asking her permission before you

Seriously its painfully obvious if a girl wants to have sex or she doesn't. Read the situation and act like a sensible human being

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I suck at reading situations or going with the flow

For this and many other reasons you are honestly better off avoiding sex all together.

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Just say "I have a condom want me to get it out?" You should never not use a condom the first time.

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CalypsoDoom posted...

Imagine understanding such a basic concept

I'm so confused! You have people saying that getting consent is better. And from a legal standpoint, its the best way to approach this

And then you have people saying "Read a situation" "go through the flow" "subtle approach rather than blatantly asking"

I DONT UNDERSTANNND!!!

My wife never asks... Swear I'll be playing video games and she'll slither over to me, wrap her leathery claws around the johnson and force me to try and have headset conversations while I receive an unwarranted mouthparty.

Shit gets a little old when I'm deep in a raid sesh.

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take it nice and slow. it's not hard to ask for verbal consent without ruining the moment, though non-verbal consent works too

something like "wanna keep going?" or "you sure you want to?" when things are starting to escalate

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Normally TRP is a shithole, but in this instance it's correct.

Nonverbal reciprocation and escalation is sufficient. If they're just sitting there letting you kiss them, that's different than them actually kissing you back and then being the first one to use tongue.

If you suck at reading the situation and going with the flow, then, yes, use your words. It helps to express interest and then ask for feedback. Throw a compliment or piece of flattery out there, say you'd like to progress this a little physically, and then ask if she's on the same page.
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If it's your first time having sex with a woman, you absolutely should ask her at some point. Obviously you don't need to have a lawyer and a signed contract. Just say things like "Hey, we don't have to go any further if you're not comfortable," and "are you sure you want to keep going?"

If it's someone you're already sexually active with, then nonverbal cues are enough.

Don't think of it as "It's rape if you don't ask her." Think of it as just common courtesy. Think of it as something you're doing to make her feel better.

Yes, there is a gray zone when it comes to sexual consent. But as far as I'm concerned, if you're getting anywhere near the gray zone then you're doing it wrong. Ask yourself, what is your goal?

A. To do whatever it takes to have sex with her.

B. To make the experience a satisfying one that she feels good about afterwards.

If your main goal is B, then you should only be having sex if it seems like she really wants to. And you should always ask her if you're escalating things significantly higher than they've ever been before, just to make sure.

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EndOfDiscOne posted...

Just say "I have a condom want me to get it out?" You should never not use a condom the first time.

This is a good one I've used before.

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EndOfDiscOne posted...

Just say "I have a condom want me to get it out?" You should never not use a condom the first time.

Also works if you substitute condom with penis, though it is slightly less sophisticated. But only slightly.

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When getting hot and heavy, this always works.

"wanna fuck?"

You'll know.

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GamingLablet posted...

I'm so confused! You have people saying that getting consent is better. And from a legal standpoint, its the best way to approach this

And then you have people saying "Read a situation" "go through the flow" "subtle approach rather than blatantly asking"

I DONT UNDERSTANNND!!!

If she takes off her panties and mounts you, then thats a good non-verbal indication that shes okay with having sex.

But you should still get verbal consent, just to be sure. Something like,

are you sure you want to put my penis into your vagina?

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