Current Events > $900,000 but you have to hand Wonder Woman over to The Penguin

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UnfairRepresent
08/19/20 5:40:01 AM
#1:


Would you do it?


You're driving along one icy evening when suddenly WHAM! out of no where you hit something.

You get out of your car and to your shock and horror realize that the 'something' is the Amazon Champion of All Women , Princess Diana Aka The Superhero Wonder Woman who is now feebly trying to crawl around, face down, barely concious, half sprawled by the impact of your car. Clearly suffering massive damage.

You couldn't see her because she was knelt down tying up the Penguin who you now can see hogtied in front of you near to her. Her tiara provided no protection as she threw it to take down Penguin and hadn't put it back on yet, causing your car to collide straight into her unprotected head at full speed.

Then you look around and see dozens of rough looking thugs laid out unconcious all over the place around a big mysterious truck.

"Oi Kid!" You hear the tied up Penguin say. "You seem like a smart lad. Untie me, put a sack on Blunderwoman's head, tie her up and help load her into my truck over there. Do that and I'll pay ya 900 grand. It was meant for this lot but clearly they don't deserve a dime of it." He gestures to the unconcious thugs with a nod of his head. "She hasn't seen you, none of my boys have seen you and far as I'm concerned I never saw ya neither. You'll drive away unnoticed and make off like a fucking bandit."

"Nooooo....By ...Hera.. you..wont get away with..." you hear Wonder Woman groan while she tries to get back up but her body fails her and she collaspes again, on the verge of passing out. "Must.....Stop Cobblepot....so close... Must bring him to Dick... Can't...can't let him get away... "

"Shut up!" Penguin yells. "Well what's it going to be? Way I see it you can untie me and leave here a smart rich man or refuse and wind up arrested as the broke idiot who runs down little girls. Come on sonny, don't be stupid. This is easy."

https://i.imgur.com/yZuaX1J.png

You're in the middle of no where, there are no people or camera's around and your phone has no reception.

How do you react?
What do you do?
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StarReaper13
08/19/20 5:50:22 AM
#2:


Use her lasso to see if he's telling the truth first.

Cobblepot is a fucked up dude, he's ruined a guys life because he thought he was making fun of him.

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Chadwick69
08/19/20 5:54:07 AM
#3:


She better have fucking insurance
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UnfairRepresent
08/19/20 6:09:31 AM
#4:


StarReaper13 posted...
Use her lasso to see if he's telling the truth first.

Cobblepot is a fucked up dude, he's ruined a guys life because he thought he was making fun of him.

I kinda assumed Wonder Woman used it to hogtie him but I never specified that so I guess it's open to interpretation
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Marmitecashews
08/19/20 7:10:53 AM
#5:


I would respectfully decline his offer and attempt to provide first aid to Wonder Woman.

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Sictis
08/19/20 7:14:11 AM
#6:


>trusting the Penguin's word
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Purple_Cheetah
08/19/20 7:21:44 AM
#7:


Yes, then I'll take the money and simp myself to The Cheetah.

I forgot the The, I'm terribly sorry my mistress I hope I didn't offend you in your loverly fluffiness and super strength that doesn't make sense tbh, but ok.
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StarReaper13
08/19/20 7:47:46 AM
#8:


Sictis posted...
>trusting the Penguin's word
That's why I said use the lasso.

It literally forces people to tell the truth so I'd know if it were worth considering.

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nfearurspecimn
08/19/20 7:56:50 AM
#9:


Wait, Wonder Woman isn't like Superman (cartoon, not his full potential)? She can get wrecked by just a vehicle?

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UnfairRepresent
08/19/20 8:03:10 AM
#10:


nfearurspecimn posted...
Wait, Wonder Woman isn't like Superman (cartoon, not his full potential)? She can get wrecked by just a vehicle?

Depends on the incarnation (like all comic books)

I'm not up to date with the recent Hollywood Movies

But when I was growing up 2 thugs with baseball bats could knock out WW if they caught her off guard.

She was just really strong/tough and had cool shit.

That's the adaptation we're going with in this topic.
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Chadwick69
08/19/20 8:25:15 AM
#11:


Well I could take this chance and make a name for myself then, as the completely normal guy who killed both Wonder Woman and Penguin. Would make headlines.
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BoyOfBattle
08/19/20 8:27:39 AM
#12:


what's the downside

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monkmith
08/19/20 8:29:19 AM
#13:


cant turn over wonder woman, she loves everyone... now if it were batman, that'd be easy money.

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3PiesAndAFork
08/19/20 8:30:04 AM
#14:


I would use the lasso of truth to find out where the money is. I would take the money. I would then kill the Penguin, and take WW to the hospital. I will be a hero and 900k richer.

monkmith posted...
cant turn over wonder woman, she loves everyone... now if it were batman, that'd be easy money.

You could get twice that from Batman.

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Chadwick69
08/19/20 8:30:56 AM
#15:


3PiesAndAFork posted...
I would use the lasso of truth to find out where the money is. I would take the money. I would then kill the Penguin, and take WW to the hospital. I will be a hero and 900k richer.
Wonder Woman would turn you over to the police for murdering Penguin and would confiscate the money.
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AloofHermit
08/19/20 8:31:16 AM
#16:


no cause Red Hood is my favorite hero

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monkmith
08/19/20 8:32:27 AM
#17:


3PiesAndAFork posted...
I would use the lasso of truth to find out where the money is. I would take the money. I would then kill the Penguin, and take WW to the hospital. I will be a hero and 900k richer.

You could get twice that from Batman.
if i pancake a dude in a batsuit with my car i doubt he's going to be doing much talking though. maybe one of his child slaves will do the deal though?

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BloodMoon7
08/19/20 8:49:04 AM
#18:


As a fellow villain, I couldn't possibly charge him! Maybe we can collaborate sometime. I have 1000 henchmen. They keep calling me their queen though.

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RiKuToTheMiGhtY
08/19/20 9:15:39 AM
#19:


Laugh at him before unloading 5 rounds of 9 mm into his head, then helping Wonder Woman and give her a bottle of water.

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skermac
08/19/20 9:24:52 AM
#20:


Gal gadot lookalike im saving her

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ZevLoveDOOM
08/19/20 9:26:40 AM
#21:


you had me at 900k.
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LastTomorrow
08/19/20 9:49:28 AM
#22:


Do I want to incur the wrath of the Justice League? Nope

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Foppe
08/19/20 10:53:26 AM
#23:


I remember when this topic was about Batwoman.

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UnfairRepresent
08/19/20 4:31:17 PM
#24:


RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...
Laugh at him before unloading 5 rounds of 9 mm into his head, then helping Wonder Woman and give her a bottle of water.

97% sure WW would arrest you for that
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Gobstoppers12
08/19/20 4:33:21 PM
#25:


I voted yes without reading the scenario. She'll either escape or be rescued and I'll have taken $900,000 of penguin's money.

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Zack_Attackv1
08/19/20 4:42:09 PM
#26:


NEVER!

Four walls does not a prison make. I'll pluck this bird yet.
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Kajagogo
08/19/20 4:44:17 PM
#27:


monkmith posted...
cant turn over wonder woman, she loves everyone.


Funny joke.

Wonder Woman is a murdering asshole that doesn't give a shit. I'd do it under the guise of it being karma catching up to her.

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Kajagogo
08/19/20 4:46:24 PM
#28:


Injustice 2 SPOILERS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HODsi-cSgPQ

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Veggeta_MAX
08/19/20 4:55:07 PM
#29:


Nope.

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garan
08/19/20 5:12:01 PM
#30:


Knowing comic books, even if you turned Wonder Woman over to the Penguin, she'd escape & save the day regardless. Might as well take the money in that case.
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Gobstoppers12
08/19/20 5:12:29 PM
#31:


garan posted...
Knowing comic books, even if you turned Wonder Woman over to the Penguin, she'd escape & save the day regardless. Might as well take the money in that case.
That was my vote, yeah.

---
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UnfairRepresent
08/19/20 5:25:56 PM
#32:


garan posted...
Knowing comic books, even if you turned Wonder Woman over to the Penguin, she'd escape & save the day regardless. Might as well take the money in that case.

Except this is no comic. It's happening
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Gobstoppers12
08/19/20 5:28:07 PM
#33:


UnfairRepresent posted...
Except this is no comic. It's happening
Just like it happens in the comics. She'll be fine.

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Zack_Attackv1
08/19/20 5:57:32 PM
#34:


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IronWolf87
08/19/20 6:47:42 PM
#35:


Beat the penguin into a bloody pulp with a tire iron while being angry as possible in the hopes that I get a red lantern ring.
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Shotgunnova
08/19/20 6:56:45 PM
#36:


1) save Wonder Woman
2) liberate the $900K
3) steal various parts of Penguin's outfit, like his hat and umbrella gun
4) ???
5) profit

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Mistere Man
08/19/20 7:18:01 PM
#37:


First it was Batgirl constantly trashing or crashing my apartment saying something about the Penguin which was kind of cute at first, but she was always get this to dick, or get me to dick, or go find dick! then this handsome gentleman killed her, now it is Wonder women saying take them to a Dick so you know what?

FUCK IT!!!

I look for a still loaded gun and shoot penguin in the head and kill him, and then I pull down my pants and say you want them taken to Dick?! Here is dick! I took him to dick! I have a dick you teasing she beasts! You just cant see it very well! Then I bind WW's hands behind her so she loses her power and kill her

Then I begin my extremely short career as the batman villain named

Micromeanest!

(Unless a better name comes up shortly)


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closetjpopfan
08/19/20 8:49:23 PM
#38:


Dick Grayson?
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Mistere Man
08/19/20 9:08:31 PM
#39:


closetjpopfan posted...
Dick Grayson?
I know that and you know that, but how does my hypothetical person that lived in Gotham that keeps bumping into and having their stuff destroyed by female super heroes hunting this criminal The Penguin know who Dick is?

All he knows is too super hot women keep telling him to go get or find some Dick after trashing his stuff.

Nope small dick themed super villain is the only rational choice.

Now they just have to work on puns to use on Batman.

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nfearurspecimn
08/19/20 9:09:53 PM
#40:


Shotgunnova posted...
1) save Wonder Woman
2) liberate the $900K
3) steal various parts of Penguin's outfit, like his hat and umbrella gun
4) ???
5) profit
Wonder Woman would make you turn all of that stuff over to the authorities, however.

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SolidShadow3
08/19/20 9:16:01 PM
#41:


Step 1: Grab gun (Hide it of course, make it like I'm turning my car off)
Step 2: Ask Cobblepot where the cash is
Step 3: Take Cash
Step 4: Assist Wonder Woman into my car
Step 5: Load Penguin into my Trunk
Step 6: Get Wonder Woman to hospital and Penguin (Hopefully) to Nightwing.

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By Odin's beard!
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Shotgunnova
08/19/20 9:21:24 PM
#42:


nfearurspecimn posted...
Wonder Woman would make you turn all of that stuff over to the authorities, however.
Guess it's a good thing I didn't tell her I took it, huh?

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GGuirao13
08/20/20 2:30:59 AM
#43:


No deal.

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UnfairRepresent
08/20/20 3:34:23 AM
#44:


Man it was neck and neck

now Yes is dominating
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UnfairRepresent
08/21/20 3:31:49 AM
#45:


closetjpopfan posted...
Dick Grayson?

Yeah that's Robin
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Foppe
08/21/20 3:38:00 AM
#46:


UnfairRepresent posted...
Yeah that's Robin
Rick Grayson is too old to be Robin.

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bknight
08/21/20 3:50:16 AM
#47:


$900,000 or help out WW and have her thank me with sex, tough question, but death by Snu Snu.
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UnfairRepresent
08/21/20 10:59:48 AM
#48:


bknight posted...
$900,000 or help out WW and have her thank me with sex, tough question, but death by Snu Snu.

There's a lot of assumptions going on there
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