Current Events > How would you react if your teenage daughter came out as a FtM transgender?

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UnfairRepresent
10/20/20 4:37:33 AM
#1:


It feels like the transgender discussion is dominated by MtF talk, probably because of the patriarchy and the "They'll go on your kids bathrooms!" stuff Republicans parade.

But the alternative is just as common and I feel like we don't get peoples perspectives on it enough.

How would you react if your 15 year old son ( who was born a girl) identified as a boy? He gave away all his girls clothes/make up/toys to Goodwill and was given a new wardrobe of boys clothes by his friends Brad and Jane who are supporting him.

He says his new name is Zidane, he wants to be the guitarist in a boy band and he's much happier now as his true self.



This came on suddenly and took you off guard as a parent.

How do you react?
What do you do?

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apolloooo
10/20/20 4:38:04 AM
#2:


support him ofc

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Shablagoo
10/20/20 4:42:34 AM
#3:


UnfairRepresent posted...
It feels like the transgender discussion is dominated by MtF talk, probably because of the patriarchy and the "They'll go on your kids bathrooms!" stuff Republicans parade.

But the alternative is just as common and I feel like we don't get peoples perspectives on it enough.

This is wildly untrue.


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pfh1001
10/20/20 4:45:13 AM
#4:


UnfairRepresent posted...
He says his new name is Zidane, he wants to be the guitarist in a boy band and he's much happier now as his true self.


Boy bands don't have actual musicians, so the joke's on him.
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IronTusk
10/20/20 4:45:19 AM
#5:


Support him 100%.
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UnfairRepresent
10/20/20 5:36:03 AM
#6:


pfh1001 posted...
Boy bands don't have actual musicians, so the joke's on him.
let him have his dream

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Fazeo13
10/20/20 5:37:45 AM
#7:


I suppose sexual relations are off the table? Asking for a friend. I'm not gay or anything. Just saying.
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g0ldie
10/20/20 5:42:17 AM
#8:


Fazeo13 posted...
I suppose sexual relations are off the table? Asking for a friend. I'm not gay or anything. Just saying.
with your son? :/

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pulsatingjam
10/20/20 5:49:17 AM
#9:


Be very supportive. Both me and my fiancee are non-binary, fiancee lived as a trans man for about 8 years. So we'd be very understanding.

Also I actually have two daughters.
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UnfairRepresent
10/20/20 5:52:42 AM
#10:


pulsatingjam posted...
Be very supportive. Both me and my fiancee are non-binary, fiancee lived as a trans man for about 8 years. So we'd be very understanding.

Also I actually have two daughters.
The 2nd one is still a girl and bullies the older one over it

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InhumaneRaider
10/20/20 5:54:32 AM
#11:


Support them all the way, It's not that big of a deal. I have a 18 F-M trans employee and he's one of the best people I know, I've know him since he was 15 when we hired him for midshift. He's kind of like a little brother to me.

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SolidShadow3
10/20/20 5:57:42 AM
#12:


g0ldie posted...
with your son? :/
Caught.

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UnfairRepresent
10/20/20 5:58:11 AM
#13:


InhumaneRaider posted...
15 when we hired him
Ha!
I had a job when I was 14

I'm officially better than your little brother that I never met

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pulsatingjam
10/20/20 6:00:53 AM
#14:


UnfairRepresent posted...
The 2nd one is still a girl and bullies the older one over it
I'm a good parent, would never happen.
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UnfairRepresent
10/20/20 6:02:33 AM
#15:


pulsatingjam posted...
I'm a good parent, would never happen.
You're a good parent so your kids never misbehave or make mistakes ?

Hoo boy sunshine you're in for a rude awakening

Even kids with great parents make errors and do dumb things, its literally part of being a kid

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Smackems
10/20/20 6:18:04 AM
#16:


Probably just.. Nothing and let them do their thing

Only read topic title btw

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Jagr_68
10/20/20 8:14:27 AM
#18:


apolloooo posted...
support him ofc


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Hexenherz
10/20/20 8:23:44 AM
#19:


100% support however I can.

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Garioshi
10/20/20 8:31:44 AM
#20:


I'd fully support him.

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Flauros
10/20/20 8:40:30 AM
#21:


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Pus_N_Pecans
10/20/20 8:45:07 AM
#22:


Shablagoo posted...
This is wildly untrue.
Its really not, the ratio of mtf to ftm people is actually pretty even. The only reason were always hearing about transwomen is because men are the ones who complain the loudest about it and theyre terrified of being labeled as gay. That, and people just pay less attention to men in the first place.

Anyway, Id support them obviously.

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UnfairRepresent
10/20/20 8:48:14 AM
#23:


Flauros posted...
Force them to watch the first homeward bound movie
it's a good film

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pulsatingjam
10/20/20 10:57:58 AM
#24:


UnfairRepresent posted...
You're a good parent so your kids never misbehave or make mistakes ?

Hoo boy sunshine you're in for a rude awakening

Even kids with great parents make errors and do dumb things, its literally part of being a kid
People who grow up with fucked up values and morals had bad parents.
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UnfairRepresent
10/20/20 11:22:53 AM
#25:


pulsatingjam posted...
People who grow up with fucked up values and morals had bad parents.
lol life isn't that simple

Hell brothers and sisters having different views alone demonstrates that

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Shablagoo
10/20/20 11:44:05 AM
#26:


Pus_N_Pecans posted...
Its really not, the ratio of mtf to ftm people is actually pretty even. The only reason were always hearing about transwomen is because men are the ones who complain the loudest about it and theyre terrified of being labeled as gay. That, and people just pay less attention to men in the first place.

Anyway, Id support them obviously.

Theres not a really good way to know as there havent been a ton of studies but the ones that have been done suggest the ratio is 2:1 or higher

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28224311/

I do agree with the rest of what you said though.

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Pus_N_Pecans
10/20/20 11:48:53 AM
#27:


Shablagoo posted...
Theres not a really good way to know as there havent been a ton of studies but the ones that have been done suggest the ratio is 2:1 or higher

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28224311/
This is specifically for Madrid, Spain though. That doesn't really represent the global population.

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The23rdMagus
10/20/20 11:51:39 AM
#28:


One of my best friends is FtM. What do you think?

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UnfairRepresent
10/20/20 12:39:07 PM
#29:


I like that Shabagloo has spent entire topic desperately trying to start an argument yet never even answered the scenario question

Says a lot

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Pus_N_Pecans
10/20/20 1:51:41 PM
#30:


UnfairRepresent posted...
I like that Shabagloo has spent entire topic desperately trying to start an argument yet never even answered the scenario question

Says a lot
I dunno, I'm good with Shabagloo.

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SolidShadow3
10/20/20 1:56:07 PM
#31:


Just wanna point out: @Fazeo13 asked if he could have intercourse with their own offspring.

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Diokneesius
10/20/20 1:56:40 PM
#32:


"a transgender"
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FlameTurtle
10/20/20 2:09:34 PM
#34:


Diokneesius posted...
"a transgender"
It's pretty shitty how UR continues to do this no matter how many times it's brought up.

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Eliza-Schuyler
10/20/20 2:15:26 PM
#35:


i would fully support this. hes likely had a lot of time to think about it and i would be like yes ok amazing!!!

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Diokneesius
10/20/20 2:39:51 PM
#36:


FlameTurtle posted...
It's pretty shitty how UR continues to do this no matter how many times it's brought up.
gotta get them clicks
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Fazeo13
10/20/20 2:43:39 PM
#37:


SolidShadow3 posted...
Just wanna point out: @Fazeo13 asked if he could have intercourse with their own offspring.


It was a joke breh.
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trappedunderice
10/20/20 2:45:09 PM
#38:


TC just trying to fish for warnings.

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SolidShadow3
10/20/20 3:03:26 PM
#39:


Fazeo13 posted...
It was a joke breh.
That why you deleted it? lmao.

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mech dragon
10/20/20 3:16:39 PM
#40:


Fully support him by:
  • offering trans resources
  • Asking my trans friends if they would be willing to mentor him through the transition process and beyond
  • Asking him if he would even want advice/support from my trans friends, and then connecting them if needed
  • saving up for surgeries he might want
  • using correct pronouns
  • learn about body dysmorphia and how it shows up everyday for youth/teens
  • asking him who he wants to be out about his gender identity with (grandparents? aunts/uncles? just friends for now? cousins?) and then having those conversations about gender identity with these people if they are in my generation or older (my siblings/his aunts, my parents/his grandparents).
  • Notifying and having these conversations with teachers and other staff at his school, so staff there will use his correct pronouns as well, on forms and classes.
  • Having a conversation with him about toxic internet message boards tbh. This is something I've heard from my trans friends-- there's reddit boards that incels have created to trash on trans people and their transition journeys. So I'd probs have to have a conversation about that and intake/consumption of social media and mental health as a whole.



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Pus_N_Pecans
10/20/20 3:40:21 PM
#41:


mech dragon posted...
Having a conversation with him about toxic internet message boards tbh. This is something I've heard from my trans friends-- there's reddit boards that incels have created to trash on trans people and their transition journeys. So I'd probs have to have a conversation about that and intake/consumption of social media and mental health as a whole.
Reddit is a great resource for the trans community, but dear lord, you post a picture up there and you WILL get some combination of either hate or creepers hitting on you. No exceptions. But there's a lot of supportive people there too.

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Fazeo13
10/20/20 3:43:32 PM
#42:


SolidShadow3 posted...

That why you deleted it? lmao.

Nah got modded.
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UnfairRepresent
10/20/20 4:47:48 PM
#43:


mech dragon posted...
saving up for surgeries he might want
daw that's sweet of you

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jon1012
10/20/20 5:05:35 PM
#44:


Id say OK, whatever. Clean your fuckin room and sit down so you can eat.

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Romulox28
10/20/20 5:06:20 PM
#45:


I would come out as MTF to restore equilibrium in the family

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jon1012
10/20/20 5:06:59 PM
#46:


I think Id cry if it was my son though.

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UnfairRepresent
10/20/20 6:01:36 PM
#47:


jon1012 posted...
I think Id cry if it was my son though.
But why tho?

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UnfairRepresent
10/21/20 3:41:05 PM
#48:


jon1012 posted...
Id say OK, whatever. Clean your fuckin room and sit down so you can eat.
I think his room would be pretty clean considering he just gave away most of his stuff

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jon1012
10/21/20 8:12:44 PM
#49:


UnfairRepresent posted...
But why tho?

id want my son to be like me.

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UnfairRepresent
10/22/20 9:05:00 PM
#50:


Even if he's not happy?

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UnfairRepresent
10/24/20 12:09:20 PM
#51:


I guess so then

wow

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UnfairRepresent
10/25/20 7:35:16 PM
#52:


The23rdMagus posted...
One of my best friends is FtM. What do you think?

That there is a difference between friends and family, especially children.

You think people who have strippers for best friends want their kids to be strippers? Some people can be downright disrespectful to their kids sometimes for not following their designed image

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