Current Events > CYOA: You're President Donald Trump.

(+) Yeah! (+)

WOW! You can't believe those Sad Radical Left Democrats stole the Election! They were so jealous of such a great job you're doing running the country that they decided to stuff ballots! They decided to bribe officials! They decided to do all the dirtiest tricks they could think of just so they could pretend they had a chance at winning your election. There's no way anyone believes them. You can't stand it anymore. You've just gotta get it out of your system. You've gotta find a way to let some steam go.

A. Go tell everyone in McDonald's how sad the radical left is
B. Find someone to fire
C. Take out your frustrations on Twitter
D. Take out your frustrations on Melania


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C

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E. I wake up, shit myself, get a headache trying to think about what I want to do for the day and go shitpost on Twitter.

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E. Jump into a woodchipper

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A

@Eevee-Trainer
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A

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A

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A
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GregShmedley posted...

A. Go tell everyone in McDonald's how sad the radical left is

A to keep dis canon to real life

A. Go tell everyone in McDonald's how sad the radical left is

A. Go tell everyone in McDonald's how sad the radical left is

Did those Democrat Socialists really think they could get away with stealing my election? Im still furious about it, but Im also hungry. Its hard to focus on finding polls that work in my favor when Im hungry.

I throw on my coat and head out the office. One of those Secret Service staffers, you know, I cant really remember his name but he has a squeaky voice, asks me where Im going. Im going to McDonalds to give a speech about the election, I told him. Its gonna be a huge speech. Best speech of all time.

He muttered something under his breath, couldnt really hear him, something about fucking orangutans or something like that. I still dont know why he wanted to fuck an orangutan. Truthfully when you're in the White House you can fuck whoever you want, fuck over whoever you want, it's pretty nice just being able to do whatever it is you please.

The entire limousine ride they kept on annoying me about how impossible it is to keep having to secure the McDonalds on such short notice every time I get my cravings. Why am I the only one around here who can just do a good job and not complain about it?

When I walk into the McDonalds, nobody even pays any attention to me. Theyre all on their phones, their Twitters, eating their food, they all should be paying attention to me. Fortunately, I know how to draw the attention of a crowd.

I see a young couple eating hamburgers in the middle of the busy restaurant. I immediately hop on their table, squishing a half-eaten Quarter Pounder beneath my foot. Attention patrons, attention patrons, sorry to interrupt but I have a huge announcement to make. The radical left thought they could steal this election. I was winning by huge margins on election night. Then Nancy Pelosi stuffed all those ballots, she bribed those officials, oh by the way, get me a Big Mac, large coke, ten-piece McNugget please, on the double. You can charge Ben Carsons UHUD account again. He never minds.

Fortunately, I always have a plan, folks. Thats something thats really great about me, I always have a plan. That plan is

A. Destroy the White House
B. Move the executive branch base of operations to someplace else
C. Amend the constitution so that you remain president forever
D. Discuss with Vladimir Putin further options

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B

B

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D
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A

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D
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A

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C, use a crayon so everyone will know its important

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D

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Bring up my post
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A

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bump

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D

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