Current Events > Dudes, exposure isn't working. Still get mad at the same old shit

(+) Yeah! (+)

how many times do i have enter threads that i know will make me mad or uncomfortable before it becomes normalized and doesn't phase me. god

none of you ever send your kids to catholic school. that shit didnt help me develop mentally or socially AT ALL. i have to get by irl by being a fake-ass person. if i was socialized properly weird shit and sexual shit might not make me scowl

so yeah anyway what do i do bros

pee in her butt

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Drumpf posted...

pee in her butt

people are throwin a lotta classics around this week

I think if this is just hurting you, maybe avoid it and chill, then come back to it when you're less strained.

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Control your emotions

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Evening_Dragon posted...

I think if this is just hurting you, maybe avoid it and chill, then come back to it when you're less strained.

Nah but it's like a real life thing too dawg. I don't wanna make myself mad just conversin with my friends - my real mood might bleed thru (tho i doubt that). i figured this place and reddit would be good places to practice. also hurt is an imo inaccurate word. unless it's hurting to be mad all the time

BobLoblaw_ posted...

Control your emotions

that's what im sayin dawg

Smoke some.
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Smashingpmkns posted...

Smoke some.

i'm coming down which is probs why i'm reacting to stuff again. this is generally a good strat tho

You say you get by by being fake. Whos the real you

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hate

You should get a fish aquarium, they are therapeutic and relaxing. There are videos on youtube for anger management activities and methods, a lot of people scoff at that sort of thing but maybe you can find something that will help a bit, or even redirect your anger issues.

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Might want to look into getting a legal ketamine treatment. It could help. Not all of them take insurance tho.
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MabusIncarnate posted...

You should get a fish aquarium, they are therapeutic and relaxing. There are videos on youtube for anger management activities and methods, a lot of people scoff at that sort of thing but maybe you can find something that will help a bit, or even redirect your anger issues.

i've wanted an aquarium or a terrarium for over a decade now. but what am i carnegie here? but good suggestion. maybe i could put together tiny biomes that always seemed like a cool hobby

Smashingpmkns posted...

Might want to look into getting a legal ketamine treatment. It could help. Not all of them take insurance tho.

ya fuckin me

it would seem like you need specific training on exposure therapy. but the idea behind it is that you slowly expose yourself to the stimulus after focusing on the worst thing that could happen which is the source of your discomfort. so you would identify the reason you have that reaction, what that fear is beyond the stimulus you are exposing yourself to. the stimulus can't hurt you. you know this. that's not enough, though.

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berlyman101 posted...

it would seem like you need specific training on exposure therapy. but the idea behind it is that you slowly expose yourself to the stimulus after focusing on the worst thing that could happen which is the source of your discomfort. so you would identify the reason you have that reaction, what that fear is beyond the stimulus you are exposing yourself to. the stimulus can't hurt you. you know this. that's not enough, though.

there is no worst thing that could happen in this scenario though. im reading shit that either disgusts or annoys me. im just a judgmental prick bro

Neckhomachus posted...

ya fuckin me

Nope. My dad did it because he suffered from CRPS which also caused him to have some pretty fucked up stuff going on upstairs and both the CRPS and his mental health have been completely reversed. It really is a miracle seeing that shit happen. I really suggest looking into it man.
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Neckhomachus posted...

i've wanted an aquarium or a terrarium for over a decade now. but what am i carnegie here? but good suggestion. maybe i could put together tiny biomes that always seemed like a cool hobby

ya fuckin me

I'd suggest a kit that includes just about everything you need, but the filter is usually bare minimum and I wind up buying an upgraded one and a better heater, so it's better to just build your own. Realistically, for around $120-$140 you can get a complete 10 gallon system not including fish. I don't know your financial situation though, but if you ever do get one, i'm open to help and answer questions.

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Neckhomachus posted...

there is no worst thing that could happen in this scenario though. im reading shit that either disgusts or annoys me. im just a judgmental prick bro

you're saying that you want to feel different so I don't believe you when you say that. there's at least insecurity at play.

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This place is so weird and perverted that people use it as exposure therapy for their aversion to weird perverts?

MabusIncarnate posted...

I'd suggest a kit that includes just about everything you need, but the filter is usually bare minimum and I wind up buying an upgraded one and a better heater, so it's better to just build your own. Realistically, for around $120-$140 you can get a complete 10 gallon system not including fish. I don't know your financial situation though, but if you ever do get one, i'm open to help and answer questions.

space is the biggest issue come to think of it. i wouldnt have the freedom to pursue this til i escape my fuckin parents' house. again. god what a nightmare. but yeah im putting a pin in it

Smashingpmkns posted...

Nope. My dad did it because he suffered from CRPS which also caused him to have some pretty fucked up stuff going on upstairs and both the CRPS and his mental health have been completely reversed. It really is a miracle seeing that shit happen. I really suggest looking into it man.

wow i'm reading about it now. my biggest concern is that it's entirely possible i want to be miserable which i feel like would nullify a treatment like this. i dont think i want to be miserable though. or at least i hope i dont, wouldnt stand a chance against my own brain

Neckhomachus posted...

wow i'm reading about it now. my biggest concern is that it's entirely possible i want to be miserable which i feel like would nullify a treatment like this. i dont think i want to be miserable though. or at least i hope i dont, wouldnt stand a chance against my own brain

Probably possible. But I think it's worth a shot. From my understanding it's definitely experimental, and was especially experimental for my dad's condition, but it was apparently 90% successful for patients at the particular place he went to for his specific condition and even higher for just the mental illness aspect.
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Spooking posted...

Leave social media as it clearly isn't for you.

the idea is to adjust myself to it. to conform. so i dont have to fake conforming in real life, and actually conform to social norms

berlyman101 posted...

you're saying that you want to feel different so I don't believe you when you say that. there's at least insecurity at play.

insecurity, might be. i dont know why i hate sex. wasnt always this way. definitely had an...abnormal upbringing with respect to things of that nature. but when i finally broke into that game i was relatively normal about things. the shift happened sometime after a bad relationship, after which i went wild with it in a number of ways i repress hella hard. then i just stopped and turned into...this

Smashingpmkns posted...

Probably possible. But I think it's worth a shot. From my understanding it's definitely experimental, and was especially experimental for my dad's condition, but it was apparently 90% successful for patients at the particular place he went to for his specific condition and even higher for just the mental illness aspect.

how many sessions did it take him?

Neckhomachus posted...

how many sessions did it take him?

For his condition it was a 5 day treatment with a booster a month later for 2 days. For mental health cases I think it's only 2 or 3 days.

I'm not gonna go into what CRPS is because it's pretty complicated and I'm not even sure I could explain it well but if you look it up and see what it actually is and how this treatment completely rewired his body to fix it I think you'd be pretty surprised. To me it's a fucking miracle. He was suffering from it for 4 years doing all the bullshit workers comp made him go through. Opiates, bullshit doctors appointments, whatever scraps they would toss him. No progress whatsoever until the ketamine. Once they approved this shit he went from a pain level of 10/10 to no pain at all and now he can walk again and is also no longer feeling the way he felt (don't wanna get banned but implying the worst here). If it can do that for him I think it can definitely help you.

Also he's no longer on anti depressants due to the treatment.
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It sounds like you just enjoy being upset

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BobLoblaw_ posted...

It sounds like you just enjoy being upset

or am i just trying to make it that way as a coping mechanism? same difference i suppose

Smashingpmkns posted...

For his condition it was a 5 day treatment with a booster a month later for 2 days. For mental health cases I think it's only 2 or 3 days.

I'm not gonna go into what CRPS is because it's pretty complicated and I'm not even sure I could explain it well but if you look it up and see what it actually is and how this treatment completely rewired his body to fix it I think you'd be pretty surprised. To me it's a fucking miracle. He was suffering from it for 4 years doing all the bullshit workers comp made him go through. Opiates, bullshit doctors appointments, whatever scraps they would toss him. No progress whatsoever until the ketamine. Once they approved this shit he went from a pain level of 10/10 to no pain at all and now he can walk again and is also no longer feeling the way he felt (don't wanna get banned but implying the worst here). If it can do that for him I think it can definitely help you.

Also he's no longer on anti depressants due to the treatment.

this sounds like science fiction. i have a couple tabs open on this. this is crazy. i could schedule a first appointment and hop on a train saturday if they have a spot. crazy. giving it serious consideration here

Have you ever banged your fingers off of something or hit the corner of a metal frame bed in the shin? Stinging sensation of a soccer ball to the face?

You don't have to squeeze up tight or even acknowledge that reality of pain, see how long you can go letting the pain fester until it all works out of you

You are your greatest enemy and at times, your mind and body plays tricks on you.. makes you see things you wanna know and feel when it isn't necessary to do so

Sometimes there's a part of you that you need to let go of to breathe and sometimes that IS not getting your fair due of 'justice' (depending on what that may be) or that may be not getting a deserved apology.. may not be an equilibrium that's perfectly centered

you have to ask yourself the real question: what's wrong with being fake to begin with? Why is it important for you to be 'genuine' by any kind of Merriam Webster definition?

I grew up in a Baptist family.. immigrants too. I know what you're feeling to an extent but obv. we've been through very different things. I didn't have much socialization growing up because of that - I was always 'fake' trying to fit in because people liked me and I had friends but they'd always ask 'why do you have to go straight home, you don't wanna come hang out at my house - EVERYONE is going to be there'

I had to go my own path.. break from my family - I had alot of anger built up from being in a cycle where I needed to find my way, but was constantly feeling guilty about making my parents upset. It swallowed me up. Eventually you grow old and realize that you just need to let go cause you'll never be able to take hold of the future if you don't.. how could anyone? You're still locked up by chains of youth while your body wants to grow into adulthood.. it's gonna keep getting tighter and tighter. I realized a lot these past 5 years. Took me a long time since I was good at hiding and running away.. and doing drugs lol

Now my BPD sets in often now as a result of leaving myself vulnerable.. but I made that choice to look at my past and REALLY bury the hatchet.

Sorry I can't offer you more advice man - I did enjoy the song you posted though. I drove around to it on my way back from work.

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Neckhomachus posted...

this sounds like science fiction. i have a couple tabs open on this. this is crazy. i could schedule a first appointment and hop on a train saturday if they have a spot. crazy. giving it serious consideration here

I say go for it dude. At worst its just ends up being the most expensive but dopest trip you've ever had in your life lol
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@Neckhomachus I do consider being mad all the time to be a kind of hurt yeh

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RedJackson posted...

Sometimes there's a part of you that you need to let go of to breathe and sometimes that IS not getting your fair due of 'justice' (depending on what that may be) or that may be not getting a deserved apology.. may not be an equilibrium that's perfectly centered

i'm not owed anything though. no one is. i never expect justice in any form. doesnt exist on any meaningful level

as for what's wrong with being fake - nothing, i dont think. but i dont want to be fake, i want to be normal so i dont mad at people who i will then write off for any number of arbitrary reasons. if i dont have to be fake, i wont have such a hatred for people anymore. cuz i'll be the same as everyone else, which would be dope

Smashingpmkns posted...

I say go for it dude. At worst its just ends up being the most expensive but dopest trip you've ever had in your life lol

i'm going to i think

Evening_Dragon posted...

@Neckhomachus I do consider being mad all the time to be a kind of hurt yeh

yea i guess that's fair

Neckhomachus posted...

i'm not owed anything though. no one is. i never expect justice in any form. doesnt exist on any meaningful level

as for what's wrong with being fake - nothing, i dont think. but i dont want to be fake, i want to be normal so i dont mad at people who i will then write off for any number of arbitrary reasons. if i dont have to be fake, i wont have such a hatred for people anymore. cuz i'll be the same as everyone else, which would be dope

Fair and I feel you - like my post >_>

say bye bye to that thing <_<

it's worth knowing when to stuff it lol but normal is anything, just tune up the machine

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So I've been examining the insecurity angle and I don't think it's that per se but i do think there's some form of self-consciousness issue at hand. I wish I could ctrl+F my brain for issues. Self-consciousness, well what am I self-conscious about? Being abnormal, yes. Seeing people talk about stuff most people consider normal, that reminds me I'm abnormal. Poor emotional maturity leads to manifesting that reminder as anger? Defense/coping mechanism? I don't like how painfully aware I am of how warped my fuckin neurons are. I don't know, I think I'm sort of on the right track here. Wednesday can't come soon enough

Neckhomachus posted...

So I've been examining the insecurity angle and I don't think it's that per se but i do think there's some form of self-consciousness issue at hand. I wish I could ctrl+F my brain for issues. Self-consciousness, well what am I self-conscious about? Being abnormal, yes. Seeing people talk about stuff most people consider normal, that reminds me I'm abnormal. Poor emotional maturity leads to manifesting that reminder as anger? Defense/coping mechanism? I don't like how painfully aware I am of how warped my fuckin neurons are. I don't know, I think I'm sort of on the right track here. Wednesday can't come soon enough

ya gotta be more honest with yourself. sit down and write all the stuff that scares you in a visceral level. the nagging thoughts and emotions that are holding you back come from simple feelings.

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Introspection don't come easy

I'm gonna actually put pen to paper on this. Need to see my thoughts spread out in front a me

Neckhomachus posted...

Introspection don't come easy

I'm gonna actually put pen to paper on this. Need to see my thoughts spread out in front a me

if you write it and look at it and you think "hmm, that doesn't seem so weird. these are normal thoughts," then try again until you look at it and say, "yep, that's it," like a plumber who finally found the real problem in a clogged drain.

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Wonder if I'll shake anything meaningful loose. I have a ton of repressed shit from 2017-2018, texas and my time after. Barely remember any of it I was either so fucked up or so stressed out the whole time. Both, a lot of the time. IDK how I'm gonna write about those parts if I can't remember em

the point is that your fears are irrational whether or not your trauma is based on real events. the more unlikely your fear is to happen, the better the exercise.

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you say fears but I don't exactly know what that translates to. I fear heights, my problem is the dumbshit I get mad at

Neckhomachus posted...

you say fears but I don't exactly know what that translates to. I fear heights, my problem is the dumbshit I get mad at

ok, so let's say you're mad about sex talk for some reason. why would you get mad about that unless it troubled you in some way? you don't have to answer, my point is that it has the same root.

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I feel shame for being victimized via sex in my last relationship and I feel shame and guilt for sleeping around after. I also feel like deviant because after feter that relationship I experimented a lot, so shame there too. shame and guilt

any geniuses wanna dissect THAT

Neckhomachus posted...

any geniuses wanna dissect THAT

Ill talk about it - maybe not dissect it like my pompous ass did a couple of posts ago :P

If it stems from religion.. I mean start there tbh


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You'd be better off limiting your exposure to CE. Normalising the sort of shit that gets spewed on CE just means you're more susceptible to get on board with it.

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you're way too into being upset over the things that are making you upset
you should be doing the direct opposite of "exposure" to these things
if you know something is going to upset you, you need to avoid it

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Neckhomachus posted...

I feel shame for being victimized via sex in my last relationship and I feel shame and guilt for sleeping around after. I also feel like deviant because after feter that relationship I experimented a lot, so shame there too. shame and guilt

wait i didn't read this
do you even believe in God at this point?

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The Trent posted...

wait i didn't read this
do you even believe in God at this point?

i never really believed in god, at least i dont think so

The Trent posted...

you're way too into being upset over the things that are making you upset
you should be doing the direct opposite of "exposure" to these things
if you know something is going to upset you, you need to avoid it

but what im sayin is it's not just weird shit here that pisses me off, it's normal shit too that gets me and i would prefer to correct it

christ

then who do you feel ashamed to?
isn't shame about failing an accountability to someone?
you're ashamed to yourself for having normal human experiences, is this the gist of what you're saying?
and you don't know how to get over it?

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tag

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