Current Events > You kow people joke about wanting to bang Superman or Wonder Woman but....

(+) Yeah! (+)

If you think about it, it would be terrifying.

One wrong move or slight minimal loss of control and you're dead. For them it would be like having sex with a giant paper cup. They'd have to be so absurdly gentle that it would be either uncomfortable as hell or horrifying.

I mean these are people who casually burst though reinforced concrete walls with their hands on their hips like it was made of oatmeal. Now imagine the same people thrusting at around your genitals.

Maybe if they let you tie them up first, that would work but now it's getting weird.

I'm starting to think that's why like 92% of the female superheroes are so physically weak. Black Widow, Harelyquinn, Catwoman, Black Cat, Black Canary, Kitty Pride, Raven, Maria Hill, Black Suicide Squad Leader Lady, Scarlet Witch, Green Lady from Guardians of the Galaxy, Jubilee, Nebula, Batgirl, Huntress, Rene Montoya, Hawk Girl etc. They're all like 0 risk of accidentially crushing your spine.

Is Starfire Superstrong? I forget.

Even Rogue isn't superstrong anymore and she's a danger to begin with. Like Half the male roster of heroes/villains are in accidental spine danger territory

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They practically never have self-control issues of their strength except for very specific goofs. If Superman had issues with his self-control, there is no way he'd be able to maintain his Clark Kent identity.

Furthermore, do you think powerlifters have difficulties not accidentally killing people on a day to day basis or something?

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Imagine clark as a child and how much murder he could have accidentally done.

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Guns_of_Verdun posted...

I'm starting to think that's why like 92% of the female superheroes are so physically weak...Green Lady from Guardians of the Galaxy

https://i.imgur.com/0asALCo.gif

Guns_of_Verdun posted...

Black Widow,

Sources say she can press 500lbs. Has a different version of the SSS. Her leg wraps might snap your spine.

Guns_of_Verdun posted...

Black Cat

Bad luck powers. Might break something during sex.

Guns_of_Verdun posted...

Kitty Pride

After you hit that g-spot, she might unconsciously have both of you fall through the floor.

Guns_of_Verdun posted...

Raven

C'Mon dude, daddy dearest will pop out and murder you in your moment of passion.

Guns_of_Verdun posted...

Black Suicide Squad Leader Lady

Nice. Amanda Waller. If we're talking huge, fat Waller. She might break you back.

Guns_of_Verdun posted...

Scarlet Witch

Too many outcomes to imagine once she orgasms.

Guns_of_Verdun posted...

Green Lady from Guardians of the Galaxy,

Gamora's got super strength too.

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https://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20081202.gif
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Pogo_Marimo posted...

Furthermore, do you think powerlifters have difficulties not accidentally killing people on a day to day basis or something?

could you point me to the powerlifter who could accidentally destroy a concrete wall if they flicked it a bit to hard?

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Pogo_Marimo posted...

Furthermore, do you think powerlifters have difficulties not accidentally killing people on a day to day basis or something?

Powerlifters having nothing on Superman

The strongest powerlifter on Earth can't walk through a concrete wall like it was custard.

A powerlifter would have difficulty playing with a fragile dollhouse without damaging shit. That's closer to what superheroes with unnatural strength have.

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The Boys has a scene on this, by a girl who isn't even that strong.

Or that story in the show where a guy is having sex with a girl who has the same powers as Ice Man, she climaxed and turned into her ice form for a split second, which froze his dick and shattered it lol

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AngelsNAirwav3s posted...

The Boys has a scene on this, by a girl who isn't even that strong.

Yeah Robot Chicken did it too

Superman killed Lois by climaxing in her mouth and it went through her brain like a gunshot

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monkmith posted...

could you point me to the powerlifter who could accidentally destroy a concrete wall if they flicked it a bit to hard?

Can you post a panel of Clark Kent doing some every day, mundane task then accidentally walking through a wall or breaking a desk or crushing a little kitty as he goes to pat it or anything like that?

There was an important point made in his post that is conveniently left out of the quotes...

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Guns_of_Verdun posted...

Powerlifters having nothing on Superman

The strongest powerlifter on Earth can't walk through a concrete wall like it was custard.

A powerlifter would have difficulty playing with a fragile dollhouse without damaging shit. That's closer to what superheroes with unnatural strength have.

Many Superheroes like Superman have never been shown to have issues with fine motor skills. Superman literally builds super-computers and complex robots in arcs like Crisis on Infinite Earths. Do you think he could solder future-tech circuit boards but he couldn't stop himself for ripping a woman in half during sex?

Furthermore, Superman is literally married to Lois Lane. I don't think he would be romantically involved with a woman he loves if he had any reason to be concerned with accidentally killing her from something so stupid as sex or a particularly distressing dream in the same bed.

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Pogo_Marimo posted...

Furthermore, Superman is literally married to Lois Lane. I don't think he would be romantically involved with a woman he loves if he had any reason to be concerned with accidentally killing her from something so stupid as sex or a particularly distressing dream in the same bed.

Lead condoms

He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him.

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Wonder Woman's tits motorboat YOU

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XxKrazyChaosxX posted...

He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him.

or he does that thing with the chamber at his Fortress.

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BlakPeppa posted...

or he does that thing with the chamber at his Fortress.

Or Lois borrows some Hulkbuster armor from Tony Stark

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buddhamonster posted...

Can you post a panel of Clark Kent doing some every day, mundane task then accidentally walking through a wall or breaking a desk or crushing a little kitty as he goes to pat it or anything like that?

There was an important point made in his post that is conveniently left out of the quotes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9j-1Zp6XNqo

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monkmith posted...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9j-1Zp6XNqo

Now imagine this scene but instead of a tractor it's Lois and Superman talking about how he's struggling to get erect.

And it's terrifying.

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I would also like to point out that Spiderman, who also has super-strength, had a child with Mary Jane. Superman, in some continuities, had a child with Lois Lane (Superboy). I mean, it's a fine thing to joke around about, but if you're trying to reason anything here just please use Occam's Razor, for your own sakes. No need to try to convince yourself of things that just aren't there.

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Guns_of_Verdun posted...

Now imagine this scene but instead of a tractor it's Lois and Superman talking about how he's struggling to get erect.

And it's terrifying.

or just him finishing in the first 5 seconds and accidentally drilling her literally through the bed...

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Guns_of_Verdun posted...

Or Lois borrows some Hulkbuster armor from Tony Stark

what

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Pogo_Marimo posted...

I would also like to point out that Spiderman, who also has super-strength, had a child with Mary Jane. Superman, in some continuities, had a child with Lois Lane (Superboy). I mean, it's a fine thing to joke around about, but if you're trying to reason anything here just please use Occam's Razor, for your own sakes. No need to try to convince yourself of things that just aren't there.

Occam's Razor: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artificial_insemination

Even putting that aside there's comics were Lois Lane is turned into a black lady and one where she is turned into a centaur.

Also I don't think Spiderman is comparable to Superman.

He's strong sure but random human thugs can hurt him and beat him up. If you smack Spiderman off guard in the back of the head he goes down.

Random humans can't do shit to Superman.

I mean Spiderman probably could break through a concrete wall but it would take him several minutes of hard work and hurt.

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Alright, well, have fun with your, uh, fixation then I guess.

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Kryptonite Kondom

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Pogo_Marimo posted...

Alright, well, have fun with your, uh, fixation then I guess.

https://youtu.be/FjTv3IfRie8?t=239

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Black Suicide Squad Leader Lady

come on man

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DD Divine posted...

Black Suicide Squad Leader Lady

come on man

To be fair, he called Gamora "green lady..."

Edit: *Realizes both black actresses.*

Wait a minute...

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BlakPeppa posted...

To be fair, he called Gamora "green lady..."

Edit: *Realizes both black actresses.*

Wait a minute...

I legitimately didn't know that actress was black lol.

And I mentioned Spiderman, Rene Montoya and Starfire. You're reaching.

I should mention I don't read the comics, I just watch the movies and TV shows so a lot of these characters are probably bigger deals if you read comic books. Like I don't have a clue who Taskmaster even is
I just didn't remember her or the Suicide Squad girl's name. They were kinda bland characters.

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XxKrazyChaosxX posted...

He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him.

Blue Kryptonite would work just fine.

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Umm, they never say how strong they bust one out. Theres animals like a dolphin that would kill you if it bust in you.

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Guns_of_Verdun posted...

Like I don't have a clue who Taskmaster even is

>_> Was he on the list? Dude would be the best sexual partner for the ladies. Photographic memory of all sexual positions.

Also just yanking your chain bud.

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Guns_of_Verdun posted...

Occam's Razor: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artificial_insemination

Even putting that aside there's comics were Lois Lane is turned into a black lady and one where she is turned into a centaur.

Also I don't think Spiderman is comparable to Superman.

He's strong sure but random human thugs can hurt him and beat him up. If you smack Spiderman off guard in the back of the head he goes down.

Random humans can't do shit to Superman.

I mean Spiderman probably could break through a concrete wall but it would take him several minutes of hard work and hurt.

spider-man can lift vehicles and has casually punched the jaw off a villain. >_>

anyways Superman gets new powers all the time. Just call it super orgasm and hes fine.

Baby Supes we can just say that his half-human physiology keeps his solar-charging cells from maturing until a certain age.

Wonder Woman can have Amazonian training if you really need an explanation. (She also has a piercing weakness so if its Hetero sex there can just be some bullshit explanation that her powers are temporarily nerfed mid-coitus. >____>)


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Well in some WW canons her power comes from her belt so take it off and sex would be just like normal sex.

But I don't think modern DC would dare degrade their cash cow by claiming her power comes from a belt.

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Think about yourself holding a Styrofoam cup. Not that hard to keep from crushing it, is it?

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People aren't joking when they say that.

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jumi posted...

Think about yourself holding a Styrofoam cup. Not that hard to keep from crushing it, is it?

Okay but I've never tried to fuck a styrofoam cup.

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