Current Events > Man, I FUCKING hate looking up recipes online >_>

(+) Yeah! (+)

I just want a quick and easy set of instructions. But LITERALLY every recipe I look up has to have a 3 paragraph preface by some writer-reject about how these mashed potatoes helped them get through their goldfish's death or some bullshit and then shove all the instructions and ingredients at the end with MORE fluff mixed in.

I just want it quick, raw, and sterile! Just the ingredients and bullet points on what the fuck I'm supposed to do >_> I feel like it's the equivalent of those youtube videos that have a 2 minute intro for a 20 second clip where they're like "What's up youtube! Be sure to check out my other videos, like comment and subscribe, check my patreon and instagram, follow me on facebook and twitter, etc. etc."

I'm an old man and I fucking hate modern internet sometimes >_>

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Here's some memes






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Wtf, never encountered this and I look up recipies a lot.

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FF_Redux posted...

Wtf, never encountered this and I look up recipies a lot.

Tell me where you found this promiseland of recipes!!!

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Most of the time the websites look like this >_>



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Stumbled across this on a few cooking subreddits. Seems to work decently.

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https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/recipe-filter/
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/recipe-filter/ahlcdjbkdaegmljnnncfnhiioiadakae

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NeonOctopus posted...

Tell me where you found this promiseland of recipes!!!

well I do go to many Swedish websites maybe thats why.

And good videos without bunch of fluff

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DiamondDogs posted...

The messiah!

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Have you tried going to Betty Crockers website?

They have a ton of simple recipes that are easy to read without all the fluff.

If youre looking for something exotic or unordinary, you may have to deal with the fluff.

An example of a dish that anyone can easily follow, with all the extra supplementary material you could want and even a video tutorial

https://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/oven-roasted-turkey-breast/dd3c8fd4-7520-4b2b-bc0f-62817d6f43aa

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NeonOctopus posted...

Here's some memes

lol

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maybe one of the big brains here can compile them without all the fluff and make a recipe board

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just another case of americans being weird

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my favourite example of this was trying to look up turnip recipes, and probably half the ones I found had turnip in the title and then the very first paragraph of the big description thing basically just says "turnips are kinda bitter and no one really likes them anyway so we used rutagaba instead"

like come on that's not helpful...

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neon will never make his boob shaped cake now

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SSJGrimReaper posted...

neon will never make his boob shaped cake now

No lie, a friend gave me boob chocolate for my birthday once >_> I should find out where she got that lol

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While I do find the meme of this amusing I've literally never actually encountered it. Where the fuck are people getting there's from that they are actually seeing it?

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kirbymuncher posted...

my favourite example of this was trying to look up turnip recipes, and probably half the ones I found had turnip in the title and then the very first paragraph of the big description thing basically just says "turnips are kinda bitter and no one really likes them anyway so we used rutagaba instead"

like come on that's not helpful...

it's like searching for cynthia r34 and then she has gigantic tits in every pic

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Choco posted...

it's like searching for cynthia r34 and then she has gigantic tits in every pic

Cynthia has some decent knockers, doesn't she? At least in Pokemon Mastersex she does >_>

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https://youtu.be/fQallQyxAfw

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NeonOctopus posted...

Cynthia has some decent knockers, doesn't she? At least in Pokemon Mastersex she does >_>

she was always kinda flat
dunno about mastersex but it's newer than most of the pics i'm talking about anyway

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Also, they do this so they can copyright the recipe.

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Fwiw food network does not have the blog bullshit, and they even have a button to text yourself the ingredients to make grocery shopping easier

https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ree-drummond/sweet-heat-chicken-thighs-5428722

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Thank you mainstream media for cutting the bullshit

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bump

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NeonOctopus posted...

every recipe I look up has to have a 3 paragraph preface by some writer-reject

this. It is so painful

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i am so glad you made this topic, this shit is out of control

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NeonOctopus posted...

I'm an old man and I f***ing hate modern internet sometimes >_>

If you're an old man you should know that often times that legit cookbooks contain recipes made by the author or vetted to be in the book and confirmed to be delicious with none of this fluff you're talking about. I love a good serious eats recipe but they fill up their articles with one about the science of the dish and the other with just the recipe with notes to follow. Kenji Lopez-Alt's my favorite guy to follow and I have his cookbook downloaded. Wonderful person to follow if you want to improve in cooking and baking in general.

I believe another cook book that's vetted are the ones by America's Test Kitchen. There's a huge variety out there and honestly it seems likely that a lot of people steal recipes. It's quite rare that someone creates something of their own, they start off with someone's recipe as a base and then they modify it to their needs. Often times these come with the basics of adding more salt, sugar, or controlling for acidity (lemon juice/vinegar) or umami (MSG, Worcestorshire sauce, Fish sauce) or more fats (butter/oil/grease/lard/shortening) or even something spicy (jalapenos peppers etc). In general to make something more delicious you just cheat, add MORE sugar, MORE salt, MORE butter/fats and you win. It's why restaurants win. And then finally the one to tinker with the most out of all is spices and herbs like cinnamon, garlic, cardamom, basil, parsley, that kind of shit.

If you REALLY want help, there is the flavor bible that I often refer to when I want to create a "unique" flavor that people haven't seen or expected. It's all combinations of spices and herbs that can create often unused flavor profiles that taste great.

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Those were some good memes

Imagine paying for a cookbook

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tote_all posted...

Add another thing to the list FF_Redux lies about.

This is true for a fuckload of recipes.

the fuck do you have against redux

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i didn't learn about making meat pie, but i learned about how the author's mother lived trough the fall of soviet union and become immigrant in england and their daily struggles that should be made into oscar worthy movie adaptation.

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Lonestar2000 posted...

Also, they do this so they can copyright the recipe.

that makes sense

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Dude.
This is the most relatable topic you've ever made. One of the most relatable I've ever seen on CE at all tbh.

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"Internal temperature of bone-in pork chops"

LISTEN TO MY FUCKING LIFE STORY FIRST!!

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I was looking up deviled egg recipes just this morning and after seeing this shit five times I said fuck it and called my mom. I dont know why people need to give their life story about eggs and their childhood on a farm when Im looking for a simple fucking recipe.

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Lonestar2000 posted...

Also, they do this so they can copyright the recipe.

Does that even work? A person could rewrite just the recipe part, I assume.

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1337toothbrush posted...

Does that even work? A person could rewrite just the recipe part, I assume.

Yeah i dont get it either. Unless they are pulling some paper town shit and throwing in a random ingredient that would identify it.

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Flauros posted...

Yeah i dont get it either. Unless they are pulling some paper town shit and throwing in a random ingredient that would identify it.

Even if you throw in a random ingredient, recipes cannot be copyrighted.

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I suggest foodnetwork.com. Their stuff doesn't have that annoying shit at the start and goes right into the recipe.

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So maybe shitpost here some more like you usually do?

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The fluff and narrative isn't for copywriting. It's for search engine optimization and advertising. Basically, Google has ruined recipes the same way it has ruined YouTube videos.

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Ving_Rhames posted...

Dude.
This is the most relatable topic you've ever made. One of the most relatable I've ever seen on CE at all tbh.

lol thanks

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PREACH!!!!

Mfers be like

I first started boiling eggs when I was a wee child at my grandpappys farm. I remember the way the leaves on the trees bristled in the wind. It was a time away from time. I dreamt of mayflowers and poppy seeds...

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I hate that. I hate anything that starts out like a damn novel unless it's an actual book. I really hate news articles that do that. Just give me the facts...or the recipe. Everything has to have a preamble now.

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