Current Events > I present you with, "The minor Pantheon of Academia"

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Been playing Hades and writing for my job and decided that we need more minor gods in life. So here we fucking go.

Diabetes, the god of gluttony and excess(Pronounced Die-ah-beh-tees)

Perhaps the most avaricious of the gods of Academia, Diabetes thrives in the average college environment. It is through his influence that Large Pizzas become personal pizzas and a 12-pack becomes the start of a night of drinking. However, It is said that if one is too bold and continuously treads upon his territory of gluttony and excess he will inflict them with a disease of his own name in order to further secure his own personal food and alcohol supply. Staunchly opposed to Cardius and Moderus, who consistently seek him out in attempts to have him change his ways.

Moderus, the goddess of moderation

In direct opposition to Diabetes lies Moderus. Moderus believes in restraint and nuance above all else, viewing excess as disgusting weakness of the individual. Spiteful in nature, she's inclined to inflict those who do not heed her beliefs with ravaging headaches that only fade over time, especially regarding the consumption of alcohol. It is said that recognizing Moderus as the favored god individual will ensure that the individual has an unspectacular life, with no great tragedies nor any grand accomplishments. Has a long standing romantic relationship with Persis, the goddess of effort and determination.

Canonicles, the god of "canon", is best described through the following passage.

"Two men once fought a duel, with no observer to see. The winner went up to Canonicles, to claim his victory.

He said, "I slew my opponent, here he lies, he's very visibly dead."

To which Canonicles said, "I'm sorry lad, I didn't see it, but I swore he won in your stead." In response to his words with shock the victor then expired. The loser sprung up, alive once again, and started the funeral pyre."

Cardius, the god of movement.

Not to be confused with his fellow fitness gods, Cardius finds himself responsible for most strenuous movement based physical activity. Born with 7 hearts, it is said that the regulation of their respective beating is what keeps those he watches alive and healthy. If one of his hearts suffers an accident, he takes one from those he deems the least worthy, inflicting a stoppage upon their heart until he can lay claim for it himself. Those who keep Cardius in their hearts and minds throughout adulthood tend to avoid ever falling out of favor with him and tend to avoid many sicknesses and ailments as a result. Viciously opposed to diabetes, it is said that his blessing has even resulted in removal of the curse Diabetes has inflicted upon those who would tread upon his domain.

Procrastinus, the god of delay.

Procrastinus is one of the few gods who rarely takes physical form. It is said that this is because they have never made up their mind as to how they would have their appearance displayed to the world. Good natured and well liked, even by the goddess who is most in opposition to him, Persis, Procrastinus rarely runs afoul of those around him, finding the realm of the gods exceedingly boring. Instead, they relish the joy they can find in the mortal realm, spreading their message to those who need it least. Frequently, Procrastinus will target an individual mortal with a scheme, or machnination of their own design, only to abandon them almost immediately afterwards, leaving the individual lost and confused. It is said that they possess the highest intellect within the realm, but there is little supporting evidence of such a claim, with no verifiable accomplishments to back such a thing up.

Persis, the goddess of effort and determination.

Viewed by her peers as a shrill, unenviable individual, Persis relishes in the fact that she is the primary reason that any progress at all occurs within the mortals they are responsible for guiding. Once she begins a task she will not stop until that task has reached completion. It is said that those that are focused on a task for a time period beyond their capacity to concentrate will see hallucinations of Persis guiding them to finish their work before moving on. Prior to her entering a relationship with Moderus, Persis was considered to be an intolerable presence to many of those around her, but Moderus seemingly keeps her more banal endeavors to a minimum, allowing her to better focus on rewarding her most devout followers with her blessing. It is said that Moderus has sought to end their relationship on several occasions, but Persis always manages to work through it.

Maybe more to come. I dunno. This was more of a fun writing exercise for me than anything.

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