Current Events > I'm feeling pretty burnt out mentally.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I have all of this really good energy during the day, but I just use it on work. I'm a really high performer at my job, and that feels good. But then I'm done with work and so often feel like I have no more energy for personal development or domestic development beyond cooking a few times a week. I feel like I'm kinda stuck. At least I'll have a baby in a bit (54 days!), and that should provide some big personal challenges :)

Imma tag people who I feel are generally interesting. Give me some perspective pls.

@Hippocrates @Balrog0 @Cleo_II @kbelfisBACK @KILBOTz @Giant_Aspirin @pinky0926 @I_Like_Toast

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i'm not one of them interesting people but dude you gotta get into the habit of living your life after work. don't just save your life for the weekends. it'll feel weird at first when you're used to just sailing home to veg out after work, but once you break outta that mold you can have a little bit of weekend every day

makes your life flow so much better too when you're constantly in the energy, chops up that 9-5 cycle that makes you feel like a robot

just gotta do it bro

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you and it's led to an incredible frustration between me and my bf over my utter inability to do housework or even things I actually enjoy doing.

but I let work beat the shit out of me every day because I wanna look like a bad ass for some reason??? Idk

I used to be like that every day. Wouldn't even have energy to play video games lol. Within the last few months something changed though. Even though I have no energy and am just totally burnt after work, I still force thru it to do my routine. Skin and hair care, exercise. I also started drinking a gallon of water per day around the same time. Water can be and is for me an excellent mood booster. It's like snake oil if snake oil worked

So I guess my points are that with sufficient motivation you'll feel compelled to work thru the burnout, and take care of yourself and you'll start to poke out of your brain fog. Easier said than done of course. And I still have bad days for sure. But overall I'm in good spirits after paying more attention to health, hygeine, hydration

Oh, and I attribute A LOT to this, but I walk 30 - 60 minutes every single day. Just for fresh air and a change of scenery, and I guess it gets the blood flowing

Hippocrates posted...

I used to be like that every day. Wouldn't even have energy to play video games lol. Within the last few months something changed though. Even though I have no energy and am just totally burnt after work, I still force thru it to do my routine. Skin and hair care, exercise. I also started drinking a gallon of water per day around the same time. Water can be and is for me an excellent mood booster. It's like snake oil if snake oil worked

So I guess my points are that with sufficient motivation you'll feel compelled to work thru the burnout, and take care of yourself and you'll start to poke out of your brain fog. Easier said than done of course. And I still have bad days for sure. But overall I'm in good spirits after paying more attention to health, hygeine, hydration

where do I get motivation tho

while ur at it help me find some serotonin too lmfoa

kbelfisBACK posted...

where do I get motivation tho

Sadly that parts up to you. My motivation is I don't like the body I inhabit, and it's pretty killer motivation for me lol

Hippocrates posted...

Sadly that parts up to you. My motivation is I don't like the body I inhabit, and it's pretty killer motivation for me lol

fuck

you would think being w a man I love very very much who would give me the sun and the moon if he would and living in an awesome apartment would be enough motivation

kbelfisBACK posted...

fuck

you would think being w a man I love very very much who would give me the sun and the moon if he would and living in an awesome apartment would be enough motivation

This is trite but it's gotta come from you, cuz you're the one it's for. Or at least it should be for you, not for someone else

Socrawheeze posted...

This is trite but it's gotta come from you, cuz you're the one it's for. Or at least it should be for you, not for someone else

Idk how to motivate myself for my own sake bc I never have.

you don't find motivation, you make it. if you aren't doing the things you want to do, you just don't want em bad enough. sorry bout ya.

kbelfisBACK posted...

Idk how to motivate myself for my own sake bc I never have.

I consider myself lucky in that regard. To me it feels like some outside force is making me do these things, when really it's just my desire is strong enough

I hope I'm not coming off like I consider myself some guru or something, just sharing my perspective and what's worked for me

Pardon my absence in my own topic. I've summoned the energy to exercise Tonight and am about to hit up some Ring Fit Adventure

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fuck yeah, DO IT

Drpooplol posted...

Pardon my absence in my own topic. I've summoned the energy to exercise Tonight and am about to hit up some Ring Fit Adventure

My god he's doing it!

Atta boy you'll be glad you did

i'm not sure what about me comes across as interesting, but more or less you need to find something you enjoy that's for you. It's difficult to find motivation if you don't have it. For me it's short and long term goals. Even if it's something like getting better at a video game. And i'm fortunate that an opportunity at my job fell into place about 2 years ago that got me to shift away from programming into management. So i went from something i was very comfortable, and very bored, with, to something outside of my comfort zone and as a result motivates me to learn how to get better.

Granted, with a baby on the way your free time is going to plummet. So

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if you're feeling burnt out now, you're about to get slapped in the face real hard in 54 days. well, from what i hear anyway. seriously though, congratulations! from what i hear it's like one of the hardest things you can do but also the most rewarding. i've watched a bunch of my friends go through early parenting and it's all the same, they're burnt out more than they've ever been, but the way their faces light up when they talk about their kids is so awesome.

as far as having mental energy, i cheat and rely on my caffeine addiction. coffee in the morning and tea in the afternoon. i've learned how much to have and when so that it keeps me alert into the evening while allowing me to sleep when i need.

kinda like Toast, i have goals for myself and im relatively good about sticking to them and i feel bad when i don't. i have my own rules about things i do or don't do. i usually have a project going on that i dedicate a set amount of time each week to. that gives me some flexibility in terms of when i do it, but i put in a certain # of hours each week. in addition to short term goals, like what im gonna do each week, i find a lot of value in having something long term to look forward to. i used to have concerts 1 or 2 times a month (fucking covid, ugh) to look forward to in the short term and two or three trips / vacations each year. but that's more to motivate me to grind through the repetition of the work week / work month / work year than working up motivation for the now.

there is value in relaxation, or just not working on anything for periods of time. we only have so much energy and we can't spend it all day every day or it just burns us out. like most things in life there's a balance. put enough into work to get your career where you want it but realize that there's more to life than work. save energy for your family and yourself. some of my friends had dads who worked all the time and were always 'too tired' when they got home to do anything and i could tell they resented it.


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I'm right there in that funk as well, and it makes me genuinely tired of life. It's a scary thought, but it feels like this is all there is sometimes.

It happens sometimes with me and music - I guess that happens after awhile but its generally the last thing to really take a backseat since youve done it for so long

its important to hold yourself accountable in the sense of like running and tracking your progress - youll be into doing that a lot more if you figure out what the calories mean to your life or doing better bit by bit

having too big of goals too can leave you directionless tho - you cant skip over the small stuff that makes you decide to write of the things you wanna do.. you have to take time to do the process

then you just tie all that up for someone.. I mean you have a little one on the way and so all the stuff you can do in terms of development will always be for you and your baby

or it can be something you pass on to them: how to grow during times when you feel stagnant

in music sometimes that means going out of bounds or listening to shit you dont like ._.


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Hippocrates posted...

Oh, and I attribute A LOT to this, but I walk 30 - 60 minutes every single day. Just for fresh air and a change of scenery, and I guess it gets the blood flowing

I love walking a ton! But winter in Minnesota makes it a lot less enjoyable :(

And as far as Toast and G_A have spoken to for goals, I feel like that is part of my issue. In my career I've always had something concrete to work towards (mostly promotions or a different job you usually need x experience for), so that keeps me focused at work because I need to do a good job in order to advance and outside of work because I need to study/ work on technical aspects.

But I was promoted earlier this year, and now I feel like I've kinda plateaued? Like there's no direct promotion or anything of the like to keep me focused. People in my position have gone to managerial/director positions, but that's after like 8-10+ years in a single position. Now without anything short to medium-term to work towards, I feel like I'm just kind of drifting. I don't know what work goals to set.

I have had creative outlets in the past. I suppose I should get back to those and get focused on progression there.

As far as the baby and mental fatigue is concerned, I'm actually super pumped. From my reading, research, and conversations with people, having a child is one of the most challenging yet rewarding things you can do. And I'm super excited for that challenge and to pour all of my love into that little guy. I'm so excited to meet him <3

/extended blogfaqs

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Drpooplol posted...

I have all of this really good energy during the day, but I just use it on work. I'm a really high performer at my job, and that feels good. But then I'm done with work and so often feel like I have no more energy for personal development or domestic development beyond cooking a few times a week. I feel like I'm kinda stuck. At least I'll have a baby in a bit (54 days!), and that should provide some big personal challenges :)

Imma tag people who I feel are generally interesting. Give me some perspective pls.

@Hippocrates @Balrog0 @Cleo_II @kbelfisBACK @KILBOTz @Giant_Aspirin @pinky0926 @I_Like_Toast

Congrats on the baby!

@Cocytus please edit your post to remove the @'s

but thank you :)

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Drpooplol posted...

@Cocytus please edit your post to remove the @'s

but thank you :)

Done

Drpooplol posted...

I don't know what work goals to set.

don't remember exactly what it is you do, but are there things you need to learn to stay current? i'm in software so it's basically impossible for me to keep up with it all, even within the little ecosystem of the languages/frameworks/etc i use. part of my annual review w/my boss is to set goals for the upcoming year and we always include stuff like "familiarize with Spring 5" or "take this AWS certification".

i also think it's acceptable to just accept where you are and not desire to 'go farther'. i'm a lead engineer on my team and the only routes 'upward' for me are either architecture or management and right now neither one seems all that appealing. i don't want to architect because its too many politics and too little code and i dont want to manage because i find computers much easier to understand than people. yeah, this might change, but i've told my boss that i'm very content where i am and have no desire to elevate my position and she loves it because she doesn't worry about replacing me.

is there something you've always wanted to do or learn? like playing guitar or learning to garden? pick something that sounds interesting and promise yourself X hours / week to work on it. even starting with just one might be enough to get ya going. i normally find getting started is the hardest part but once i'm going it feels good.

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