Current Events > I've been rejected by every girl I've ever asked out

(+) Yeah! (+)

What is wrong with me

People are starting to say personality but it's hard to be John Cusack when you just get rejected your whole life

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Any reason why this could happen?

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They don't feel like they deserve you is all


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Mitch_Haniger posted...

Any reason why this could happen?

a mirror might help you figure this one out

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Roughly how many times?

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SteveNasti posted...

They don't feel like they deserve you is all

Nah they usually say something rude to me after, that I'm not X, with X being whatever difference they can think of off the top of their head

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dolomedes posted...

bro sometimes people are right

How can I change that though lol

Will it get better when I'm like an administrator? Do women really value high powered positions that much?

Then why do I see homeless uneducated guys who can barely say 2 words get all the girls

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smoke_break posted...

Roughly how many times?

Recently or historically?

Recently, dozens of rejections on tinder after matching, thousands of rejections via the swipe left

Historically, around 2ish IRL rejections every few years. They are super hard to recover from when the girl says things like you are nasty or too old

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What do you do for a living?

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Have you considered having more realistic standards?

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What do you see as your strengths and weaknesses personality wise?

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yunalenne10 posted...

What do you do for a living?

Still in school but work as a college instructor and property manager

I also mod a few subreddits on the side

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Get hobbies and interests, read up on popular TV shows and movies if they don't interest you so you can get some common ground icebreakers. Power and money being used as leverage to get a "yes" out of the people you ask out usually ends in disaster.

Most of all, don't try too hard. Don't overthink things most of all, coming off as stressed will always show.

I used to keep my interests too niche, I pretty much only play games in my relax time because I really don't like TV/Movies too much. Once I broadened my horizons my social circle opened up massively.

gunplagirl posted...

Have you considered having more realistic standards?

Yes but even those girls reject me because they know I am settling

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

What do you see as your strengths and weaknesses personality wise?

Oh my God so many weaknesses

I'm shy but people think I'm smart so I can come off as elitist, like Gamefaas circa 2002

Being smart is also a strength apparently but has never helped me with a girl ever in my life

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Mitch_Haniger posted...

Yes but even those girls reject me because they know I am settling

Yeah the problem isn't your look if this is what you think

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R_Jackal posted...

Get hobbies and interests, read up on popular TV shows and movies if they don't interest you so you can get some common ground icebreakers. Power and money being used as leverage to get a "yes" out of the people you ask out usually ends in disaster.

Most of all, don't try too hard. Don't overthink things most of all, coming off as stressed will always show.

I used to keep my interests too niche, I pretty much only play games in my relax time because I really don't like TV/Movies too much. Once I broadened my horizons my social circle opened up massively.

This was good advice. I did it around 2015 or so for a few years and didn't make a difference. I was happier until I kept seeing couples while doing said hobbies

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gunplagirl posted...

Yeah the problem isn't your look if this is what you think

Yeah but he also said this:

Historically, around 2ish IRL rejections every few years. They are super hard to recover from when the girl says things like you are nasty or too old

TC what kinda girls are you going for. Are they miles younger than you?

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gunplagirl posted...

Yeah the problem isn't your look if this is what you think

Not me lol, them. They don't believe someone like me actually likes me. It's so weird to me. They swipe right on everyone.

Sometimes a few years later they find their match though :)

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Harpie posted...

Yeah but he also said this:

TC what kinda girls are you going for. Are they miles younger than you?

Around 4-5 years younger, a few 4 years older

The ones younger than that usually just want to date 6 ft 6 pack lol it's like talking to some Disney fantasy from the 90s

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Mitch_Haniger posted...

Still in school but work as a college instructor and property manager

I also mod a few subreddits on the side

Mitch_Haniger posted...

Oh my God so many weaknesses

I'm shy but people think I'm smart so I can come off as elitist, like Gamefaas circa 2002

Being smart is also a strength apparently but has never helped me with a girl ever in my life

Okay. You have good jobs, a future, and smarts. Have you heard about "emotional intelligence"? I've been told I lacked it long before.

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Mitch_Haniger posted...

Still in school but work as a college instructor and property manager

I also mod a few subreddits on the side

BTW I also got the "you're too young" when I got rejected when I was younger. Age just seems like an excuse to me

But 4-5 years younger/older range

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Honestly, the best advice I can give you at this point then is abandon Reddit completely. It really breeds an unhealthy mind set, well a huge portion of reddit does, especially if you're already feeling down or stuck in a rut it can very easily dig you in even further.

This and Discord are pretty much the only "social networking" sites I even use any more and my life has felt way less stressful for some reason. Ditched em a long time ago.

yunalenne10 posted...

Okay. You have good jobs, a future, and smarts. Have you heard about "emotional intelligence"? I've been told I lacked it long before.

I've been reading on emotional intelligence and social skills. The problem is I know everything already said because I specialized in social psychology undergrad so they just sya things I already know

Could you imagine specializing in social psychology and being forever alone? Talk about a gamefaqs.gamespot.com failed dream

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tote_all posted...

Hey at least you catch on eventually.

Yeah I've been getting better at the subtle rejections women give people lol, it's great!

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R_Jackal posted...

Honestly, the best advice I can give you at this point then is abandon Reddit completely. It really breeds an unhealthy mind set, well a huge portion of reddit does, especially if you're already feeling down or stuck in a rut it can very easily dig you in even further.

This and Discord are pretty much the only "social networking" sites I even use any more and my life has felt way less stressful for some reason. Ditched em a long time ago.

That's a good idea. Reddit just seems to be a poor old me place

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what is your rating looks wise...what type of women are you going after?

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Mitch_Haniger posted...

Recently or historically?

Recently, dozens of rejections on tinder after matching, thousands of rejections via the swipe left

Historically, around 2ish IRL rejections every few years. They are super hard to recover from when the girl says things like you are nasty or too old

Thats normal if you are going through online apps. Many women wont give you the time of day on there but they will in person. Its just a lot harder online

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tote_all posted...

Oh yeah blaming it on them, that usually helps!

I wasn't blaming them at all. I would go for that too if I could and numbers were reversed

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also please describe your 3 previous experiences with women, the more detailed, the better we can help :)

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JBaLLEN66 posted...

what is your rating looks wise...what type of women are you going after?

Average looking or slightly above average with a nice body. Been lifting 5 years, have good stubble, clear skin, etc.

Same thing I've always gone for in a girl

Never really tried to date the hottest girls, maybe that's it?

I'm not too picky when it comes to looks

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Mitch_Haniger posted...

I've been reading on emotional intelligence and social skills. The problem is I know everything already said because I specialized in social psychology undergrad so they just sya things I already know

Could you imagine specializing in social psychology and being forever alone? Talk about a gamefaqs.gamespot.com failed dream

Oh, I can understand. "Book smarts" aren't exactly applied to real life all the time. There's always a need to adjust yourself to the actual situations.

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DepreceV2 posted...

Thats normal if you are going through online apps. Many women wont give you the time of day on there but they will in person. Its just a lot harder online

Thanks that makes me feel a little better. Still it's not normal for it to be on so many years

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Mitch_Haniger posted...

Yes but even those girls reject me because they know I am settling

I think the answer lies in that statement. It sounds like you have a defeatist attitude about asking someone out, and that may very well be evident when youre asking someone out. You need to project confidence to some degree, even if you dont feel that way. That goes a long way.

Even if you arent feeling optimistic, give off the illusion that you are. It makes a difference.

(I may be stretching, since Im drawing a conclusion from one sentence, but the advice still stands, regardless.)

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JBaLLEN66 posted...

also please describe your 3 previous experiences with women, the more detailed, the better we can help :)

1. I messaged first on tinder something clever about her bio. She responded well but said she wanted fwb and I responded that I'd love to get to know her better. Insta rip

2. Girl who I met on tinder who told me to wait then got back with her ex. I asked her what I could do today so it doesn't happen again

3. Girl on bumble messaged me first and I just asked for her number and she gave it to me. I screenshot Ted but when I texted got no reply. Was a real number with legit area code

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DepreceV2 posted...

Thats normal if you are going through online apps. Many women wont give you the time of day on there but they will in person. Its just a lot harder online

This. TC if you can, heavily reduce the hours on reddit and make an effort to meet women in person. So through coworkers, friends of friends, etc. Practice casual flirting when you can as well, even try the cashier if she reciprocates (dont ask out cashiers or customer service workers though pls, they are practice ONLY)

Im a woman and I have a much easier time flirting and asking out people in person. Seriously. The more you practice irl flirting too, even if rejected, the better at it youll become.

Looking at the reactions youre getting from women, it seems like something about your demeanor is scaring them off. This might be from lack of practice, ie obvious nervousness/desperation coming from you. But thats something that can be easily improved through practice.

Women are also usually able to tell if you have certain.. reddit attitudes about dating and its a massive turn off

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The Popo posted...

I think the answer lies in that statement. It sounds like you have a defeatist attitude about asking someone out, and that may very well be evident when youre asking someone out. You need to project confidence to some degree, even if you dont feel that way. That goes a long way.

Even if you arent feeling optimistic, give off the illusion that you are. It makes a difference.

(I may be stretching, since Im drawing a conclusion from one sentence, but the advice still stands, regardless.)

I'm an expert at faking it with my family but terrible with women

You are right I have to pretend to be happy and optistimic even when I'm not

That way I can be like Heath Ledger in Batman, the sad clown

But yeah definitely faking it would be better but I always want to be honest and sweet

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https://youtu.be/FUsMxUjk-zQ

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Mitch_Haniger posted...

Yes but even those girls reject me because they know I am settling

Right.... I think were narrowing in on the problem.

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Will you give TC the time of day Harpie?

CouldBeAnAlt posted...

Will you give TC the time of day Harpie?

Is TC between the ages of 19-25? No?

no

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Harpie posted...

This. TC if you can, heavily reduce the hours on reddit and make an effort to meet women in person. So through coworkers, friends of friends, etc. Practice casual flirting when you can as well, even try the cashier if she reciprocates (dont ask out cashiers or customer service workers though pls, they are practice ONLY)

Im a woman and I have a much easier time flirting and asking out people in person. Seriously. The more you practice irl flirting too, even if rejected, the better at it youll become.

Looking at the reactions youre getting from women, it seems like something about your demeanor is scaring them off. This might be from lack of practice, ie obvious nervousness/desperation coming from you. But thats something that can be easily improved through practice.

Women are also usually able to tell if you have certain.. reddit attitudes about dating and its a massive turn off

I will try in person more. I just get so nervous and society tells men not to approach in person or else it's sexual harassment

Plus I have a bad stutter especially when first starting talking. I am trying to see a speech therapist but many women have told me they are unattracted to it

I don't know how to not stutter though :(

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Mitch_Haniger posted...

Yes but even those girls reject me because they know I am settling

Are you though?

Have you considered going for something more on your level, like a bagel you found in a medical waste dumpster?

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Harpie posted...

Is TC between the ages of 19-25? No?

no

See I was rejected again because of my age

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Well declined not rejected lol

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