Current Events > Storytime With SpaceBear

(+) Yeah! (+)

So let's go way back to when I first moved to Portugal and got my first job. I left school very early, right, at age fifteen 'cause I decided 'I ain't even need no education' and 'I's already got way too many 'intelligents' to be wasting my time with this 'learnding' crap.'

So I left the world of academics in the dust and thrust myself into the working world of adults armed with a questionable work ethic and a vague, disinterested outlook on life. Who needs structured education, right?

So I got job on a farm. Hardly a dream job, but I made just about enough to pay my Ma some rent and fuel my blossoming alcoholism.

Basically, I shovelled shit (both literally and figuratively) and I fed the pigs.

One day, I'm in the field toiling away and then I see it...

The most beautiful thing I ever saw. A tractor. A bright red one. Gleaming in the baking sun. In absolute pristine condition, considering the job it was meant for.

I've always loved tractors, you see. Ever since I was a kid. They're just so badass, aren't they? One of man's first mechanical marvels.

So I'm stood there, staring in awe. And then my employer comes over to me.

'Hey John,' he says. (The Portuguese have always struggled with my name.)

'Stay away from my tractor. I mean it. That thing is worth more than your life.'

'Haha.' I said. 'Yeah, sorry. It's just that I've always loved tr-'

'Yeah, yeah, whatever.' he interrupted. 'Just stay away from it. And get back to work.'

So I returned to toiling. God, it was hot. I was sweating buckets. And man, that tractor had a cab on it. Nicely shaded. With a soft leather seat inside. I wanted to get on that tractor so bad. My inner child longed to climb aboard and ride it around. Pulling wheelies and jumping over hay bales.

I checked to see if the coast was clear. The farmer was nowhere to be seen. So I went over and climbed into the cab.

It. Was. Awesome. I have no words to describe how amazing it was. I've spent my entire life since chasing that feeling.

But my joy was short-lived. Just as I was trying to figure out how to start it up, I hear a voice shout:

'JOHN, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!'

Crap. The farmer was back.

And I was sacked on the spot.

'What did I tell you?!' my ex-boss yelled. 'You can't follow simple instructions? Go home. You're finished'

So I was fired from my first ever job. Not a nice feeling. What now? My initial foray into adulthood had ended in failure. All because of a childhood tractor obsession.

I would not make that mistake again. It was time to cast childish things aside.

'Get it together, John, I mean Sean.' I scolded myself. 'Forget about tractors. It's time to become a man. Time to lead, follow, or get out of the way.'

I was to have my chance of redemption sooner than expected.

As I walked home through an unfamiliar neighbour hood, I noticed a commotion outside a particular house. There were throngs of people outside, the sound of screams and....smoke.

The place was on fire! Sirens wailed in the distance. Too far away.

I neared the scene and approached a woman in shock and a little girl crying.

'My new puppy!' she sobbed.

So I resisted the urge to make a hotdog pun and decided to be a hero instead.

Well, maybe not a hero. That's not for me to say. Others, maybe.

Time to lead. Ignoring the shouts and protests of the assembled onlookers, I ran into the house.

It felt like walking into hell. The whole place was aflame. But the heat I could handle. You don't toil in a field for hours on end without working up a sweat. The smoke scarcely bothered me either.

I heard the cries of a puppy, even over the roaring flames, coming from upstairs. I ran straight up the staircase, fearing it would collapse. The puppy was cowering on the landing, fur badly singed.

Elated, I scooped the little chap into my arms and lunged back down the creaking stairs.

I arrived outside to the sound of cheers and applause. As I handed the puppy back to the crying, but grateful, little girl, a fireman ran over a threw a blanket on me.

'How on Earth did you do that?!' he exclaimed. 'Nobody could survive in there! The smoke inhalation should have killed you!'

'Oh, don't worry about me.' I said. 'I'm an ex tractor fan.'

---

Boooooooooooooooooooooo

---