Current Events > anxiety has been at all time highs the last few weeks

(+) Yeah! (+)

and its getting worse

Today and yesterday Ive been damn near bed bound. Thinking about school freaks me out, and sitting down at my desk to do it sends me into an instant messy crying panic attack. If I drop my classes, then Ill be violating my academic probation and at risk of losing my financial aid forever. But also I really dont think I can do it. Not now. On top of the anxiety Im getting terrible instrusive thoughts. Most of the time I can shut them down and move on, but at night they tend to take over and then Im reminiscing in graphic fantasies and visions of self harm and my own death (Im not suicidal or self harming). Its so frustrating and infuriating and I dont know what to do. I hate myself, I wish I was normal :(

/blogfaqs

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Well stop

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Irony posted...

Well stop

I tried turning it off and on already, didnt work

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Is a cable loose?

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Aren't you in Statistics?

You have a pretty good job waiting in the future tbh

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Irony posted...

Is a cable loose?

Oh lots of them

Damn_Underscore posted...

Aren't you in Statistics?

You have a pretty good job waiting in the future tbh

Yes. And I love it. I really, genuinely want to be in college and get my Masters. Its why its so devastating to be struggling like this and be thinking about dropping out

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after my gf broke up with me a month ago I havent even been able to go to the grocery store so Im just hemorrhaging money on doordash and waiting for the courage to well you know

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I can't offer you advice, but I can tell you that people care about you and want to see you thrive.

Never be ashamed to reach out for help, anxiety is crippling and now more than ever people are realizing how bad it can be and the stigma is starting to fade.

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I had a pretty bad flare up of my anxiety a few weeks ago, that lasted a few weeks

All I can say is if you know your anxiety and you know it's an issue, keep thinking that and remind yourself that you are In basically an extended anxiety attack

I can't stress enough how serious the next recommendation is, but look into mindful meditation/guided meditation, as someone who deals on a day to day basis with anxiety, it is a lifesaver
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DespondentDeity posted...

after my gf broke up with me a month ago I havent even been able to go to the grocery store so Im just hemorrhaging money on doordash and waiting for the courage to well you know

But what you getting on doordash tho

its inevitable for me too

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Doordash is the one that gives me the fewest deals out of them, Grubhub, and Uber Eats tbh

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AldousIsDead posted...

I can't offer you advice, but I can tell you that people care about you and want to see you thrive.

Never be ashamed to reach out for help, anxiety is crippling and now more than ever people are realizing how bad it can be and the stigma is starting to fade.

<3

Yeah, youre right. Oftentimes I will not say anything about my struggles with it bc Ive been made fun of for it before, because every millennial/zoomer has anxiety these days

Despised posted...

I had a pretty bad flare up of my anxiety a few weeks ago, that lasted a few weeks

All I can say is if you know your anxiety and you know it's an issue, keep thinking that and remind yourself that you are In basically an extended anxiety attack

I can't stress enough how serious the next recommendation is, but look into mindful meditation/guided meditation, as someone who deals on a day to day basis with anxiety, it is a lifesaver

This isnt the first time Ive heard about guided/mindful meditation for anxiety before tbh. I keep putting it off. I think its because it sounds a bit too spiritual for my liking

I will give it a look

Damn_Underscore posted...

Doordash is the one that gives me the fewest deals out of them, Grubhub, and Uber Eats tbh

this is very true, doordash is only worth it if you have a dashpass

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I usually get pickup anyway. Saves a ton of money.

The annoying thing about Uber Eats is their deals usually only apply to delivery orders, so you automatically have to spend more.

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Harpie posted...

But what you getting on doordash tho

its inevitable for me too

theres a local place that does poutine which is my favorite but I also get a lot of Old Chicago, liking the jalapeo bread bites lately.

im afraid, this is the closest Ive come in terms of not being able to ward off the constant thoughts. I get the rest of my stuff back from her on Sunday and it just feels like Ill finally be able to furnish my tomb

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Lifehack: live in a town so small the lake, two pizza places, both dispensaries, both liquor stores, the pub, and a good Chinese restaurant are all within a couple blocks of you.

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CanuckCowboy posted...

Lifehack: live in a town so small the lake, two pizza places, both dispensaries, both liquor stores, the pub, and a good Chinese restaurant are all within a couple blocks of you.

Sounds great, there decent employment opportunities there?

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Brilliant posted...

Sounds great, there decent employment opportunities there?

There's one giant employer who pays well and has good benefits. Then a handful of other jobs.

You do need a car tbh but id rather drive 15 mins on the highway to another town for shopping or work than spend an equal amount of time or more in real traffic.

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I've gone through some shit like that and really objectively I shouldn't have too much cause for concern but that's what the fuck I hate the most about anxiety. Half of your brain is like "this is what you should really be objectively and realistically worried about... it's a short list... forget everything else and just chill. You're okay." and the other half is like "AHAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!"

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You're not alone. I checked in to one of those crisis centers back in November for a few days. I'm on some new meds now that seem to be helping. They also got me into a iop therapy group. It helped a lot. My job was making me feel the same way school is making you feel. I quit this week and feel great.

Also college isn't for everyone. There's nothing wrong with taking time off to find what will make you happy.

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If something is not for you maybe it's time to move on and try something different? I don't have the answers but I know this doesn't seem to be for you and that it's not your fault for having that much anxiety. I'm always here if you need to talk to someone at night and will always support you

Edit: this kinda came out wrong. I mean you need to work on managing your anxiety and that right now college doesn't seem to be doing good for you. Of course it is for you and I want to see you thrive in statistics, but it's not working right now and I feel like you need to step away until you are in a much better headspace

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AldousIsDead posted...

I can't offer you advice, but I can tell you that people care about you and want to see you thrive.

Never be ashamed to reach out for help, anxiety is crippling and now more than ever people are realizing how bad it can be and the stigma is starting to fade.

1000 times this. It's not just me. So many of us encourage you to reach out when you are feeling down because you would never be a burden on any of us

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Damn, didnt see this topic or I might not have been quite so flippant about the Walgreens job (*nvm, this came after) .

How did you do in your classes last semester? By some miracle I managed to pull through, but academic probation doesnt sound good in that regard. The fact that you still have your scholarships certainly is and should be a bright spot in all this even if it is currently causing you stress.

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Sounds kind of like my wife, she gets crazy stressed about classes sometimes and has talked to me about wanting to quit, but if she does she may literally have to pay back her scholarship money. So she feels trapped. But luckily that's only when things get really stressful. It's a really shitty feeling to have to deal with.

Is there any way you can have someone help at all with assignments? Or a tutor or something?

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