Current Events > One thing I noticed about westerners. They don't care about family.

(+) Yeah! (+)

To be more precise and from what I've seen, White people(btw I'm White) don't care as much for blood relatives as much as minorities.

We prefer to pick some random stranger who've we become friends with for less than month to be our family members. I'm not saying blood family members should have to be your friends or that they can't be toxic, I'm just curious at this.

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I've noticed this throughout my life, it's the "price" of independence and having so much opportunity and money to be on your own like that and having systems in place to take care of the rest of the family

Also the emphasis on the family being a body seems to be revolving around unity in faith, at least in central America where you'd leave and probably go back there to die in your homeland.. there's no connection to America with most people

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Choco posted...

society's meme about family being more important than friends is toxic and nonsensical

But current society has already made it clear that family is who you choose.

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Veggeta X posted...

But current society has already made it clear that family is who you choose.

It's a fair assessment tbh, there's no real reason to be connected to your family - but I do believe in the honor system which includes a debt by being born. Gotta pay back what was bestowed and labored over all those years I was throwing spaghetti at the floor or the wall >_>

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I won't say it's just a white people thing, but I've noticed it with Americans.

like, I've met Americans who can live in the same area as their siblings, cousins, and other family members, but haven't spoken to each other in a long time. and it's not because they've had any real conflict, it's just that they fell out of communication.

my family's from overseas, and it's kinda the opposite for us - we could hate each other, but still meet up for family functions just because.

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Its mostly Americans.

It isnt just a pride thing. Its also a safety thing. For whatever reason, the last 70 years bred some really rotten people, se kids just dont want part in it.

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Veggeta X posted...

To be more precise and from what I've seen, White people(btw I'm White) don't care as much for blood relatives as much as minorities.

We prefer to pick some random stranger who've we become friends with for less than month to be our family members. I'm not saying blood family members should have to be your friends or that they can't be toxic, I'm just curious at this.

I think it's more of an anglo/dutch/german/scandinavian thing.

White Portuguese, Spaniards, Italians, French-Canadians and Greeks are more family oriented.

It's because about a century ago, the wealth of white families got to the point that newly turned adults could easily head out on their own and have a successful run of it. Then boomers started their generation stuff and were like "oh well I went out on my own at 18, I'm kicking my kids out at 18."

That attitude caught on. As did viewing homes not as a place to live, but as an investment. And we all know how that turned out when most of us were high school to newly out of college age.

Of course, Boomers are the first generation to widely have to pay for their own old folks home care, because their kids were taught that family means fuck all when it comes to support.

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Because in many countries you can't afford a place without 6 other people.

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gunplagirl posted...

It's because about a century ago, the wealth of white families got to the point that newly turned adults could easily head out on their own and have a successful run of it. Then boomers started their generation stuff and were like "oh well I went out on my own at 18, I'm kicking my kids out at 18."

That attitude caught on. As did viewing homes not as a place to live, but as an investment. And we all know how that turned out when most of us were high school to newly out of college age.

Of course, Boomers are the first generation to widely have to pay for their own old folks home care, because their kids were taught that family means fuck all when it comes to support.

Well said. I think our college system has to do with it as well.

In many of the countries I mentioned above your kids go to college in the same city they grew up in, they don't move to another state and stop living with their parents. While parents may (or may not) pay for their kids' stuff past 18 here, the whole living together and emotional bonding ends at 18, your kids will move to college at 18 and then get a job in any city except the where their parents live. Then they will see their parents in thanksgiving and christmas, maybe on labor day or memorial day, but that's it.

Im really close to my brother and my mother. My grandfather too when he was alive. Just just cause we share blood doesnt mean I owe you a shred of love or respect. I'll give you a chance cause you are family but squander that chance and oh well.

My best friend has made has done meaningful things for me. Hes been there when I needed someone. There is a lot of family members my father included who haven't.

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

Ulitimaltely family doesnt matter. Its people who have proven their value. Family often falls into that simply cause youve had more time and oppurtunities to form a bond.

Ive never met my half sister. And really I dont give a shit about her cause she's never been in my life. Cause shes blood though id give her a chance if she showed up on my doorstep needing help. But that's about it. If for any reason I decided she wasnt worth my time id feel any less bad that had she just been a random person.

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Any generalization based on race in inherently racist. Itd have to be positive to be ok but thats still racist.

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That's because most family's these days are fucking nuts or annoying as shit.

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matchboxsantana posted...

Well said. I think our college system has to do with it as well.

In many of the countries I mentioned above your kids go to college in the same city they grew up in, they don't move to another state and stop living with their parents. While parents may (or may not) pay for their kids' stuff past 18 here, the whole living together and emotional bonding ends at 18, your kids will move to college at 18 and then get a job in any city except the where their parents live. Then they will see their parents in thanksgiving and christmas, maybe on labor day or memorial day, but that's it.

Oh, generational wealth (something that white Americans are more likely to have than minorities) definitely plays a role. A parent covering the cost of university for their kid, or letting them live at home after graduating and gifting the kid a home or other property for a graduation/ wedding present? Yeah. It's so common that there's an entire running thing in web articles where "smart 20 something paid off their student loans/ paid off a house in 1 year" but every single story has their parents give them some major financial assistance.

*Ahem* I digress. Those people who do still get supported and aren't forced out have an incredible leg up in addition to the other opportunities they received growing up.

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I wouldnt piss on my extended family if they were on fire.

My wifes family are great, but mine... nope

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Kakapo posted...

I wouldnt piss on my extended family if they were on fire.

My wifes family are great, but mine... nope

Oh wow do you mind telling us why?

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Veggeta X posted...

Oh wow do you mind telling us why?

Its a long story, but the short of it is I wouldnt want my kids growing up knowing my dads family. On my mums side theres just her.

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Yea my cousins bascially never talk to me. Kinda sad but oh well.

At least I see my immediate family all the time.

Ya I've noticed that with my white-american friends. I'm American but my parents are immigrants from southeastern Europe. We keep in touch with extended family up to like 3 or 4 generations. Whenever we have weddings there's like 500 people there at least. A small family gathering (inviting people beyond immediate family) is close to 20 people. I've had some dinners at home with close to 40

Meanwhile my friends whose families have been here for a long time barely talk to their parents or siblings

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