Current Events > Man, the Weapons in FF7 are really shit at their job.

(+) Yeah! (+)

"Protectors of the planet."

You've got one that immediately tries to do something and gets another hole in it's face because big cannon needed less time to charge than shitty Sapphire weapon.

You've got one doing literal laps in the Ocean. Conceptually terrifying until you realize he's basically a big green manatee that you can easily avoid.

You've got one who actually does something, fucking up Rufus and Shinra....but in-game this guy is so pathetic and easily the weakest boss you've fought in the last 5+ hours. Diamond weapon is seriously a joke and I do not think it is possible to lose this fight.

You've got ultimate weapon, who...kinda does something and then immediately goes back to pretending to be a gen 2 roaming legendary. He helps our boy get over his ego-death though so that's neat I guess?

And then you've got fucking Ruby Weapon. Sitting right underneath everything the game has taught you is killing the planet. A massive concentration of technology and sheer opulence that is the Gold Saucer....and this motherfucker is in the sand pretending to be a Diglett or some shit. Waving his arms around like a Wacky inflatable tube man.

Seriously, why do all the "protectors of the planet" have what seems like Weapon dementia.


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What are you, He-Man?

Thematically, it makes sense that they're just as helpless against human technology as the planet itself is. Just as it has no defense against Sephiroth hijacking the Lifestream, the planet simply wasn't able to fight back against technology that's based on draining its life force.

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Pretty sure Sephy hacked them is why.

Btw, they will probably be uber epic in fF7re

Prepare to wet pants

In 10 years

Ruby and Emerald just want to chill leave them alone man

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kinda like how Dr Robotnik made robot assistants and came up w/ Scratch Grounder and Coconutz

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weren't they in search for huge materia? Emerald and Sapphire was going for the one in Junon, Ruby was going for the one in Corel, Diamond probably trying to get the one in fort condor but Midgar was between them, and Ultima probably confused that the materia was launched to outer space.

.


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Im great at mine

There's also theoretically the Whispers from Remake, who have done a shit job at maintaining the proper order of events to be frank.

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Maybe one day Ill let you win

I think you're ignoring that the cannons are so powerful becuse they are using all of the Mako in the planet

The blasts that kill the 2 weapons probably used up half the planet.

As for "walking in circles" I think that's a gameplay conceit. I don't think it's canon. Or at least in canon they wrecked shit as they went around (Which we saw Ultima do)

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