Current Events > Tinder users should be forced to say if they have kids or not

(+) Yeah! (+)

skermac posted...

Why does it matter?

Which are you asking?
Why does it matter if some already have children...
Or
Why does it matter that it's not listed...

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Tinder users should also be forced to admit if they previously raped their ex-girlfriends, but that wouldn't put you in a great position, now would it, LivingLegend?

Hide your kids and hide yo wife

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Badmotorfinger posted...

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WrkHrdPlayHrdr posted...

I mean sure, maybe I got a little carried away with my list.

And I'm not saying you don't have the right to back away if you find out the person you matched with has kids if that's not your thing. I 100 percent get it. I would never give anyone shit for not wanting to date someone with kids.

But to say it HAS to be on their profile is a reach. There are hundreds of deal breakers for people yet this one, for some reason, you're obligated to mention to complete strangers.

Again, if you want to know if they have kids when you match with them ask.

this

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WrkHrdPlayHrdr posted...

But to say it HAS to be on their profile is a reach. There are hundreds of deal breakers for people yet this one, for some reason, you're obligated to mention to complete strangers.

Having kids is a pretty big deal breaker for the majority of the non parent population, heck even for some single parents. There's nothing to lose and only to gain by making this kind of information available on a dating site where you're screening people.

I'd also argue disclosing if you're transgender based on the rare chance that someone might fly into rage and assault the victim for not disclosing this before it's too late.

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Ok so you match and you find out with in a couple days of chatting back and forth they have children.

Were you really inconvenienced over this?

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I don't really care, but, yes, kids are baggage.

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Will_VIIII posted...

Ok so you match and you find out with in a couple days of chatting back and forth they have children.

Were you really inconvenienced over this?

Yes.

Plenty would be for good reasons. Not sure why some pretend the idea of person you met online revealing they have children they are raising isn't a huge detail to gloss over.

Tinder just to bend over. It friends with benefits only. If she got kids, who cares. Strap up with ultra rubber so you dont create more baggage or go in dat butt.

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If they're just on tinder for hookups, then the fact that they have kids doesn't really matter. Many parents aren't going to want their one time fling to meet their kids, that's just weird. So I can understand not sharing that info. Tons of people won't even give a single parent a second glance, which is especially dumb for hookup culture.

For serious dating, I'd definitely list it. If it's enough of a deal breaker to change someone from a yes to a no, then going on dates probably won't change their mind on kids. Might as well save time and filter or the men/women that dislike kids to that degree

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I mean if you're dating and you're looking for a serious relationship, you should probably make it clear that you have kids for everyone's sake. But if you're just trying to hook up who cares.
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@NoxObscuras NoxObscuras posted...

filter or the men/women that dislike kids to that degree

That is a vast generalization on why it's a deal breaker for many.
Not everyone who swipes left on single parents dislike kids. There's many reasons why someone just doesn't want to deal with it.

One example,
https://www.abc15.com/news/national/under-michigan-laws-men-may-not-be-the-father-but-still-owe-child-support

There's many possible reasons why one doesn't want to get tangled in the drama of someone else's child.

t5yvxc posted...

@NoxObscuras
That is a vast generalization on why it's a deal breaker for many.
Not everyone who swipes left on single parents dislike kids. There's many reasons why someone just doesn't want to deal with it.

One example,
https://www.abc15.com/news/national/under-michigan-laws-men-may-not-be-the-father-but-still-owe-child-support

There's many possible reasons why one doesn't want to get tangled in the drama of someone else's child.

You're focusing too much on that one sentence lol. Regardless of their reason why, if someone was going to swipe right until they saw "I have a kid", then it's better to just filter them out early instead of revealing it later.

That's all I'm saying. I'm not hating on people that avoid those relationships. Just that they're not likely to change their stance on it easily.

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NoxObscuras posted...

You're focusing too much on that one sentence lol. Regardless of their reason why, if someone was going to swipe right until they saw "I have a kid", then it's better to just filter them out early instead of revealing it later.

That's all I'm saying. I'm not hating on people that avoid those relationships. Just that they're not likely to change their stance on it easily.

My bad, I thought that last sentence was implying you must hate children.

t5yvxc posted...

Yes.

Plenty would be for good reasons. Not sure why some pretend the idea of person you met online revealing they have children they are raising isn't a huge detail to gloss over.

lol that's extremely petty, being inconvenienced over this.

t5yvxc posted...

@NoxObscuras
That is a vast generalization on why it's a deal breaker for many.
Not everyone who swipes left on single parents dislike kids. There's many reasons why someone just doesn't want to deal with it.

One example,
https://www.abc15.com/news/national/under-michigan-laws-men-may-not-be-the-father-but-still-owe-child-support

There's many possible reasons why one doesn't want to get tangled in the drama of someone else's child.

Most would agree the ruling is a mistake but this is in no way applicable to the subject here

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Tinder is a hookup app.

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Will_VIIII posted...

lol that's extremely petty, being inconvenienced over this

Wasting someone's time isn't a small inconvenience. Raising or getting to know someone else's child that you didn't want isn't a small inconvenience.

Will_VIIII posted...

Most would agree the ruling is a mistake but this is in no way applicable to the subject here

This post has no meaning whatsoever. Twitterverse or your friends chiming in about a court ruling being a mistake doesnt make the burden those people are going through disappear. You calling the ruling a mistake doesn't change a person still having a to pay child support for a child they have no relation to.

Or drama someone's kid is going through that now involves you.

Or having to entertain a healthy relationship with someone else's child who may or may nor like you.

Or many other variables beyond your control that a child that you do not own brings to the table.

To anyone not looking to get involved in a relationship with someone who already has children, a child in the mix can be a massive inconvenience to find out later.

Just because you don't value your time OR don't mind entertaining a relationship with other peoples children, doesn't mean everyone else should be happy with your children and the time spent.

t5yvxc posted...

Wasting someone's time isn't a small inconvenience. Raising or getting to know someone else's child that you didn't want isn't a small inconvenience.

This post has no meaning whatsoever. Twitterverse or your friends chiming in about a court ruling being a mistake doesnt make the burden those people are going through disappear. You calling the ruling a mistake doesn't change a person still having a to pay child support for a child they have no relation to.

Or drama someone's kid is going through that now involves you.

Or having to entertain a healthy relationship with someone else's child who may or may nor like you.

Or many other variables beyond your control that a child that you do not own brings to the table.

This post screams incel

Like dude you can make that your first question if you match if it's so important to you. You end up wasting what, 30 seconds if it turns out they have kids?

That court case is also an outlier and addresses (in 2017) that the rulings need to be changed. These were married men that were cheated on. Totally not applicable or comparable to dating a single parent.

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Jun 2021

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Will_VIIII posted...

That court case is also an outlier and addresses (in 2017 that the rulings need to be changed) These were married men that were cheated on. Totally not applicable or comparable to dating a single parent.

You are showing you didn't read the article. Those were multiple people, and not all of them were cheating on their partner stories.

I also listed a bunch of other reasons.

The bottom line is it can inconvenience someone who is NOT looking to get involved with someone else's children.

Hiding a major detail that is a well known deal breaker can in fact inconvenience the person you were hiding it from.

They're still outliers, nowhere close to the norm.

There's also all sorts of legal protections. Marrying someone with kids from a previous relationship? Get a prenup. Jfc dude...

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Furthermore you could save yourself time and just state you are not interested in anyone who has children on your profile.

I've seen women do this on theirs. It's not unusual.

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Will_VIIII posted...

They're still outliers, nowhere close to the norm.

There's also all sorts of legal protections. Marrying someone with kids from a previous relationship? Get a prenup. Jfc dude...

Those are still examples, examples that doesn't encompass ALL the various examples that can happen getting involved with someone else's child that you conveniently ignore.

Just because you don't value your time OR don't mind entertaining a relationship with other peoples children, doesn't mean everyone else should be happy with your children and the time spent or work with that child shouldn't be an inconvenience.

I could also get stuck by lightning on the way to meeting a tinder match.

Statistically, that's more likely than the scenario you're extremely fixated on


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Will_VIIII posted...

I could also get stuck by lightning on the way to meeting a tinder match.

Statistically, that's more likely than the scenario you're extremely fixated on

The only one fixated on an exact scenario is you.

I gave one specific example with an article, and posted several other possible reasons one may have. You are the one fixated on the article while ignoring the various others someone isnt looking to get involved with someone else's kid.

Once again, there are various reasons why a person doesn't want to get into a relationship with someone who already has a child that isn't there's. This is a well known deal breaker. This isn't some mysterious secret.

To anyone not looking to get involved in a relationship with someone who already has children, a child in the mix can be an inconvenience to find out later.

For the record I think it's totally fine not being interested in a relationship if they have children. This is easily remidied by you stating this in your profile.

What comes off as ridiculous is this being inconvenienced mentality and fixation on having to pay child support should you even entertain the idea of dating a single parent.

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Will_VIIII posted...

For the record I think it's totally fine not being interested in a relationship if they have children. This is easily remidied by you stating this in your profile.

What comes off as ridiculous is this being inconvenienced mentality and fixation on having to pay child support should you even entertain the idea of dating a single parent.

And the fixation on one example continues lol.

I gave one specific example with an article, and posted several other possible but not limited to reasons one may have. You are the one fixated on the article while ignoring the various others someone isnt looking to get involved with someone else's kid.

Ignoring your fixation on one example as I have gave multiple. Once again, there are various reasons why a person doesn't want to get into a relationship with someone who already has a child that isn't there's. This is a well known deal breaker. This isn't some mysterious secret.

To anyone not looking to get involved in a relationship with someone who already has children, a child in the mix can be an inconvenience to find out later.

Your fixation one possibility doesn't change there's plenty of reasons to not want involvement with children that aren't there's and why it can be an inconvenience. Regardless if the idea doesn't inconvenience you. This is a well established, long known deal breaker.

I guess I can't wrap my head around your being inconvenienced.

Asking the question and getting an answer immediately is not an inconvenience, don't be ridiculous.

If you outright state you don't want to date someone with children and they match with you, and it gets to where you meet up only to find they lied then yes, I would concede that is a legitimate inconvenience. However, this is an unlikely scenario.

Just put the disclaimer in your profile dude, that's gonna prevent these inconveniences.

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Will_VIIII posted...

I guess I can't wrap my head around your being inconvenienced.

Asking the question and getting an answer immediately is not an inconvenience, don't be ridiculous.

If you outright state you don't want to date someone with children and they match with you, and it gets to where you meet up only to find they lied then yes, I would concede that is a legitimate inconvenience. However, this is an unlikely scenario.

Just put the disclaimer in your profile dude, that's gonna prevent these inconveniences.

Why hide it in the first place?

If you know it's a deal breaker, as this is no secret, why intentionally hide it?

Why should someone else have to fish a known deal breaker out of you?

It shows you were hoping this little deal breaker doesn't come out too early.

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NatsuSama posted...

Why hide it in the first place?

If you know it's a deal breaker, as this is no secret, why intentionally hide it?

Why should someone else have to fish a known deal breaker out of you?

You can easily flip the question around on single parents. "Why don't those who have an issue with me having children say so in their profile"

Because like I said, I've seen many women outright say on their profile if you have children it's a deal breaker and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

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Will_VIIII posted...

You can easily flip the question around on single parents. "Why don't those who have an issue with me having children say so in their profile"

Because like I said, I've seen many women outright say on their profile if you have children it's a deal breaker and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

There is no sound defense to flipping it around.

A dating profile shouldn't be a laundry of things you don't want. Especially well known deal breakers. Your weak defense says if I made a profile, I'd need to list shit ton of common and obvious things that'd likely have 99.99% swiping left simply based on the oddity of doing such a thing. Sounds like a very terrible ass profile to drop a laundry list of things you don't want in a woman (or man).

"Oh your profile should have specified you don't date wanted felons or not caught murderers or not caught treasonous scum. It's not my fault you didn't ask if I ever robbed a bank or murdered my ex boyfriend and the police never found out it was me. "
Example btw, as the point is hiding well known deal breakers.

Intentionally hiding information that is no secret to be a deal breaker shows you were intentionally hiding information. Hoping this can stay in the closet long enough and possibly not matter later down the road to someone who may or may not find it a deal breaker.

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This topic is one huge "I'm a controlling person" red flag

NatsuSama posted...

There is no sound defense to flipping it around.

A dating profile shouldn't be a laundry of things you don't want. Especially well known deal breakers. Your weak defense says if I made a profile, I'd need to list shit ton of common and obvious things that'd likely have 99.99% swiping left simply based on the oddity of doing such a thing. Sounds like a very terrible ass profile to drop a laundry list of things you don't want in a woman (or man).

"Oh your profile should have specified you don't date wanted felons or not caught murderers or not caught treasonous scum. It's not my fault you didn't ask if I ever robbed a bank or murdered my ex boyfriend and the police never found out it was me. "
Example btw, as the point is hiding well known deal breakers.

Intentionally hiding information that is no secret to be a deal breaker shows you were intentionally hiding information. Hoping this can stay in the closet long enough and possibly not matter later down the road to someone who may or may not find it a deal breaker.

Alright now you're also being ridiculous with equating murders and etc into this.

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Naysaspace posted...

This topic is one huge "I'm a controlling person" red flag

You can really tell who ITT gets zero matches.

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Will_VIIII posted...

You can really tell who ITT lies through omission on well known deal breakers on their profile.

FTFY

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NatsuSama posted...

FTFY

I don't have kids tho

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Will_VIIII posted...

I don't have kids tho

Read the last post thoroughly. Hint, it doesnt pertain to only kids.

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I guess I don't know what you're getting at.

All I'm seeing is people with a valid dating qualifer throwing tantrums when they can simply state their not so uncommon dating preference when it comes to children, which is something many people already do.

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JBaLLEN66 posted...

idk why single moms get so triggered when men don't want to date them. Date someone that actually wants to be around your kids for Christ's sake.

Because who those woman want to date, and the kind of man who wont mind her kids are likely, and.....very rarely one in the same.

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