Current Events > Tinder users should be forced to say if they have kids or not

(+) Yeah! (+)

If you have kids, you should let people know on dating sites.

I just saw someone I used to know from high school on Tinder who I 100% know has children and she made no mention of it in her bio or her pictures.

Obviously I know she has children, but its incredibly deceptive because unless you mention it people are just gonna assume that you dont have children.

Shut up dude

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who alt?

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I've seen a lot of stupid topics lately. This is one of them.

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TC is right. Not sure why people are salty about this topic.

If youre hiding the fact that you have kids thats shady Thats a major aspect to any relationship and at best it shows that youre ashamed of being a parent.

You could make an argument to say that everyone should list all their baggage out too, but who actually wants all that

Best foot forward, etc.

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My profile said I have kids. If it bothers someone, it is already in the open. I still got plenty of matches.

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pinky0926 posted...

You could make an argument to say that everyone should list all their baggage out too, but who actually wants all that

Best foot forward, etc.

I think its dumb to call children baggage or implying that being a parent is a negative thing that you would have to hide in order to put your best foot forward.

Kids are not something you should be ashamed of Own up to it.

SaquonDaGod posted...

If youre hiding the fact that you have kids thats shady Thats a major aspect to any relationship and at best it shows that youre ashamed of being a parent.

People use Tinder to start relationships?

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meralonne posted...

People use Tinder to start relationships?

75% of female profiles I see say something like NO HOOKUPS

There are a lot of things that should be right in the bio on dating sites.

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It's tinder, a hookup app, not a serious dating app.

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pogo_rabid posted...

It's tinder, a hookup app, not a serious dating app.

It's used for both

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Its pretty obvious if they do though

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SaquonDaGod posted...

75% of female profiles I see say something like NO HOOKUPS

75% of the people I know that use tinder only use it for hookups. *shrug*

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bsp77 posted...

It's used for both

If someone tells you this, they're either lying or completely delusional.

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as long as they dont go out of their way to hide it dyring the first few conversations I dont see anything wrong with it

SaquonDaGod posted...

TC is right. Not sure why people are salty about this topic.

If youre hiding the fact that you have kids thats shady Thats a major aspect to any relationship and at best it shows that youre ashamed of being a parent.

This.

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Yeah. They really should. It gives me a good idea of who goes raw.

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pogo_rabid posted...

If someone tells you this, they're either lying or completely delusional.

I've used it and had both hookups and a relationship. I live in the real world

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pogo_rabid posted...

If someone tells you this, they're either lying or completely delusional.

It's used for both. Not suggesting people to use Tinder for a meaningful relationship. Just saying there's plenty of stories of long relationships from tinder.

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Who cares if you have kids on a dating website? You are there because you cant find a partner on your own so you need a digital wingman.
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NatsuSama posted...

This.

By this logic you should be forced to reveal your salary, your health issues, your mental health issues, your criminal record, the list of people you have slept with etc.

Imagine thinking you're entitled to learn everything about someone in a paragraph on a dating site.

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WrkHrdPlayHrdr posted...

By this logic you should be forced to reveal your salary, your health issues, your mental health issues, your criminal record, the list of people you have slept with etc.

Your salary can easily change year to year You are stuck being a parent for at least 18 years unless you give them up for adoption.

All the other things Not sure why youre comparing those things to having kids Its almost like youre implying that its horrible to be a parent.

SaquonDaGod posted...

Your salary can easily change year to year You are stuck being a parent for at least 18 years unless you give them up for adoption.

All the other things Not sure why youre comparing those things to having kids Its almost like youre implying that its horrible to be a parent.

No, I'm implying it's no ones fucking business. Want to know if they have kids? If you match with them ask.

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Is this a karlpilkington alt

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WrkHrdPlayHrdr posted...

By this logic you should be forced to reveal your salary, your health issues, your mental health issues, your criminal record, the list of people you have slept with etc.

Imagine thinking you're entitled to learn everything about someone in a paragraph on a dating site.

Imagine being confused when your potential life partner isn't interested after you drop the bombshell of currently raising kids.

Jumping into a possible relationship, the dynamic of kids are a major factor. How this man or woman will treat your child, will the child like your life partner, how they interact, the potential threat having to support these children, etc. Children in the mix isn't a trivial matter.

General salary is already often on the profile based on their job title. We may not get exact numbers, but you can kinda of get an idea if they include their job title.

You're reaching with the who you slept with in the past.

The only ones you have a sound argument on that isn't done already is current health/mental issues that could affect the relationship, and any serious criminal records. Which ya, I like many others might lose interest if it's damming.

You want to hide it, go right ahead. My only point is don't throw on the shocked Pikachu face if after you drop that bombshell, they aren't interested anymore. Kids in the mix isn't a trivial matter.

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I mean sure, maybe I got a little carried away with my list.

And I'm not saying you don't have the right to back away if you find out the person you matched with has kids if that's not your thing. I 100 percent get it. I would never give anyone shit for not wanting to date someone with kids.

But to say it HAS to be on their profile is a reach. There are hundreds of deal breakers for people yet this one, for some reason, you're obligated to mention to complete strangers.

Again, if you want to know if they have kids when you match with them ask.

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SaquonDaGod posted...

I think its dumb to call children baggage or implying that being a parent is a negative thing that you would have to hide in order to put your best foot forward.

Kids are not something you should be ashamed of Own up to it.

You are right and I have to admit the fact that I see it as baggage probably says a lot more about me than anyone else, hah

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I kan't help but suspect this is an intentional parallel to whether or not people should admit to being trans on dating apps.

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WrkHrdPlayHrdr posted...

Again, if you want to know if they have kids when you match with them ask.

I'd say it's information they should be volunteering.

If it's not on your profile, you should be volunteering this information in chats/talks, it shows you are deliberately hiding something that is a well known deal breaker.

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Agreed. It's way more important than whether someone smokes or not or what music they like. You really need to know upfront if you're trying to have a relationship.

The_Korey posted...

I kan't help but suspect this is an intentional parallel to whether or not people should admit to being trans on dating apps.

That parallel is all you. Having kids is a well established detail that immediately has individuals swiping left.

As usual there's always one who tries to tangent the conversation off to something else to spark a conversation about something not originally discussed.

Consider using okcupid or bumble TC, I think those let you filter for that

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asdf8562 posted...

As usual there's always one who tries to tangent the conversation off to something else to spark a conversation about something not originally discussed.

That's quite the accusation, sigless letter/number username with no icon.


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Just ask.

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idk why single moms get so triggered when men don't want to date them. Date someone that actually wants to be around your kids for Christ's sake.

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asdf8562 posted...

That intentional parallel is all you. Having kids AND BEING TRANS are well established details that immediately has many individuals swiping left.

Here is what should be said. Both important.

Since I have kids, I said it on dating apps to not waste anyone's time, including mine. I would think someone who is trans should feel the same.

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SaquonDaGod posted...

Kids are not something you should be ashamed of

Of course they are. I'd be pretty fucking ashamed if you were my kid.

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Plenty of other dating apps that have a field for this, weird complaint

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bsp77 posted...

Here is what should be said. Both important.

Since I have kids, I said it on dating apps to not waste anyone's time, including mine. I would think someone who is trans should feel the same.

Do we need another topic derailed to something the TC didn't bring up?

There's plenty things I would say are important. Unless it was the intention of the TC to bring that up, I dont think we need to derail to the "to 500!" hot topic of transgendered people again.

@AllanPinkerton Please clarify what this topic is specifically so we can know if the topic is derailing.

Turbam posted...

Shut up dude

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asdf8562 posted...

Do we need another topic derailed to something the TC didn't bring up?

There's plenty things I would say are important. Unless it was the intention of the TC to bring that up, I dont think we need to derail to the "to 500!" hot topic of transgendered people again.

@AllanPinkerton Please clarify what this topic is specifically so we can know if the topic is derailing.

I mean I agree to not derail. But you made it seem like kids would cause more left swiping than being trans. Regardless of people's opinions on who they want to date, both situations are hard passes for certain people. I am trying to be objective.

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How are you gonna enforce that, exactly

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TheLiarParadox posted...

Just ask.

Also this lol.

Guy probably has zero matches anyway seeing how worked up he is over this.

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bsp77 posted...

I mean I agree to not derail. But you made it seem like kids would cause more left swiping than being trans.

You did that all on your own.

I wasn't the one who thought the topic of kids (a hot topic on its own) was some intentional parallel to the separate hot topic of transgendered. That was someone else.

Unless this was the TCs ( @AllanPinkerton ) intention, there's no need to derail the topic into another hot topic. Talking about one hot topic doesn't automatically mean some parallel is being made or that a person is comparing some hot topic with something they never even brought up.

asdf8562 posted...

You did that all on your own.

I wasn't the one who thought the topic of kids (a hot topic on its own) was some intentional parallel to the separate hot topic of transgendered. That was someone else.

Unless this was the TCs ( @AllanPinkerton ) intention, there's no need to derail the topic into another hot topic. Talking about one hot topic doesn't automatically mean some parallel is being made or that a person is comparing some hot topic with something they never even brought up.

You obviously can't follow the thread. I was the third person to discuss it.

And why do you keep pinging him, are you one of those who needs to call out every rule?

I'm done. You are now wasting my time.

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bsp77 posted...

You obviously can't follow the thread. I was the third person to discuss it.

And why do you keep pinging him, are you one of those who needs to call out every rule?

I'm done. You are now wasting my time.

Clearly you can't follow along. I didn't say you were the first to bring it up. In the very post you just quoted I said someone else did.

And I pinged him for clarification if that was his intention of this topic. Seeing that I was speaking for the TC with assumptions of their intentions.

Bumble kind of does. If you don't list "want someday" under children you'll get filtered out by some top tier guys.

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Why does it matter?

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