Current Events > Consistently trying to be a nicer, happier person. It's hard.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I didnt have the easiest upbringing, so I developed into kind of a cynical asshole. I hear people say our minds stop developing in our mid-20s to 30s, but I dont want to be stuck this way for the rest of my life. I get jealous of others who seem to be unbothered by problems that would otherwise ruin my day or week.

So Im trying self-help books. Starting with The Four Agreements. Short. Sweet. Easy to practice.

anyone here have problems like this?

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SoggyBottomBoy posted...

unbothered by problems that would otherwise ruin my day or week.

What would those be

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refmon posted...

What would those be

Well last week I had a tire blowout and someone in the student parking lot smashed my right headlight and didnt even leave a note.

My money is already stretched thin, so this added stress didnt help.

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SoggyBottomBoy posted...

I get jealous of others who seem to be unbothered by problems that would otherwise ruin my day or week.

Sounds like the underlying problem here is that you're too concerned with how others address their issues instead of focusing on resolving your own.

What minor inconveniences are troubling you, tc?

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Remember you are entitled to have an opinion of yourself and have principles because people suck.

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Vicious_Dios posted...

Sounds like the underlying problem here is that you're too concerned with how others address their issues instead of focusing on resolving your own.

What minor inconveniences are troubling you, tc?

Its really not so much jealousy. I just wish I didnt spend so much time stressing about money, bills, school, etc. Its rare for me to have a stress free day. My fiance is bipolar and having a worse time of it than I am. I love her a ton. But dealing with her mental issues along with my own is a task. Her car has no AC and so Ive let her use mine until we come up with the money. Its 95 plus here most days, so that doesnt help.

Idk. I just want to laugh my problems off, not be burdened with them.

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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BCsM35H9TFA

I used to be just like this. I wish I had solid advice to give cuz I somehow got out of that. I just ...stopped caring about what other people thought and did

I guess I found inner peace or something? Shit man idk, I wish I could help. My method of achieving peace and contentedness wouldn't really work for everyone >_>

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trappedunderice posted...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BCsM35H9TFA

I should be killed for reading a self-help book?

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Yes I had a messed up childhood and suffered from anger/self hate and PTSD

Taoism helped me immensely, as did endurance sports and nature like running and mountain climbing. Meditation and mindfulness practice is what I use when I feel like I'm being cynical or judgmental

I can proudly say my friends nowadays consider me the calmest, most content person they've met. My wife jokes I'm never sad. I do get sad and angry but they're like passing clouds I can choose to let pass

If I were you I'd start with reading a verse of the Tao Te Ching -- it's super short -- every morning followed by 5 minutes of calm meditation (just observe your thoughts and identify how they make you feel)

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Covid +Trump + Customer service have really brought me down.

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Greekhand posted...

I used to be just like this. I wish I had solid advice to give cuz I somehow got out of that. I just ...stopped caring about what other people thought and did

I guess I found inner peace or something? Shit man idk, I wish I could help. My method of achieving peace and contentedness wouldn't really work for everyone >_>

Dont get me wrong. I dont give a solitary shit about what most other people think about me or do. I just wish I could trade places with one of these little tanned sorority girls who dont have a care in the world for one week.

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Woozul posted...

This.

Don't let others gaslight you into believing that being upset means you're shitty and "negative".

I think this toxic positivity crap has gone way too far... sometimes shit fucking sucks and it's okay to be upset that it sucks - after the 1,000th lemon it's fucking tiring to make lemonade.

Be happy for you. Find things to keep you okay and motivated - for you and you alone.

There's a difference between toxic positivity, where you ignore your negative emotions, and mindfulness, where you realize they only hurt you

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SoggyBottomBoy posted...

I just wish I could trade places with one of these little tanned sorority girls

Uhhh maybe my strat will work for you after all >_>

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'Toxic positivity'

LMAO!


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Vicious_Dios posted...

'Toxic positivity'

LMAO!

Toxic positivity is a legit thing. Pretending to be happy and having no issues is not healthy. Its why customer service reps who are pressured to continue working with a smile and great attitude can be so damning for mental health.

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I had some Asian smoked sausages with rice for lunch and they were so good. I've learned to be very happy about the smaller things in life.

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Don't let some of these sullen and never happy people fool you into thinking always being negative is a normal trait.

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Vicious_Dios posted...

'Toxic positivity'

LMAO!

Its a very real thing

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Veggeta_MAX posted...

Don't let some of these sullen and never happy people fool you into thinking always being negative is a normal trait.

Ive dealt with the extremes of both sides. Both the overly negative and overly positive people get on my nerves.

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Woozul posted...

Literally who said that

It's bait babe

Everything he posts is bait. He's very like savage/trickfinger

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SoggyBottomBoy posted...

I hear people say our minds stop developing in our mid-20s to 30s, but I dont want to be stuck this way for the rest of my life.

Wait does this actually happen

Woozul posted...

Fair but I don't think this is the time or place to do this. its whatever in general but maybe people should find other topics to do so in

Trolls gonna troll

If they had class or decorum they wouldn't be trolls

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Id highly recommend trying out meditation. Its the process of training how to control your mind and push out unwanted negative thoughts. Meditation is literally a brain and mind workout.

If you have Netflix look up Headspaces guide to meditation. Go into it with an open mind, regardless of your current views on meditation. It does a GREAT job of giving you some background on different methods, and guides you through a short 5-10 minute session at the end of each episode.

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I learned a long time ago that even seemingly happy people deal with a lot of shit behind the scenes but don't take it around with them. That old saying about how people fight battles you know nothing about, it applies to more people than one would think.

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It is true that it is hard to be a nice poster, especially when the mods go after you.

A while back, @DoctorPiranha3 was warned for being a Nice poster.

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cuttin_in_farm posted...

Toxic positivity is a legit thing. Pretending to be happy and having no issues is not healthy. Its why customer service reps who are pressured to continue working with a smile and great attitude can be so damning for mental health.

Also an issue with Cancer. Often people try to be so relentlessly upbeat about your chances that people feel like they can't share their fear or doubt. That they have to be bottle it up and "be strong" for those around them.

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MFBKBass5 posted...

Id highly recommend trying out meditation. Its the process of training how to control your mind and push out unwanted negative thoughts. Meditation is literally a brain and mind workout.

If you have Netflix look up Headspaces guide to meditation. Go into it with an open mind, regardless of your current views on meditation. It does a GREAT job of giving you some background on different methods, and guides you through a short 5-10 minute session at the end of each episode.

Thanks man. Ill give this a try

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