Current Events > If I ever get divorced I'm not getting married again

(+) Yeah! (+)

this shit is too annoying and stressful.

mother in law is visiting, she leaves on Monday, I head out of town Monday, I want to just enjoy my weekend and I wanted to take her sightseeing since she's been doing yard work all week and shit.

and I get up and the wife is like "yeah we're just gonna finish this project really quick then we can go somewhere" and now they want me to rent this orbital deck sander to redo the porch and buy sand for this other project and this for that.

and also wife wanted to buy a new phone for her mom so we find one that can get delivered tomorrow but then oh also they wanted a phone for the dad so I have to find one that can be delivered today or tomorrow but also what about the cases and oh we want a new case for her tablet that's five years old now and why can't we find a good case specifically for that model of tablet?

argh.

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Okay.

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How do you know that after a potential divorce the definition of marriage wont change to "low stress utopian relationship"? Is there any reason to believe that cant happen?

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most people are fucking trash, women included. not sure why you'd want to marry one

MedeaLysistrata posted...

How do you know that after a potential divorce the definition of marriage wont change to "low stress utopian relationship"? Is there any reason to believe that cant happen?

who are you trying to kid


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What kind of person doesnt have their own orbital sander.. that theyd even need to rent one and not buy one

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R1masher posted...

What kind of person doesnt have their own orbital sander.. that theyd even need to rent one and not buy one

i know
i don't even know how to use this thing. just loaded a video up, it sounds loud as shit and the professional who was doing it said it took him three hours to complete a porch that looks smaller than ours and it's not like we're going to hit all the railings and shit

seriously why couldn't we have just taken a drive out to the beach or something like normal people do on vacation

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Today I woke up late and got nothing to do. Might play some pokemon sword.

Oh and her mom got the vaccine a few days ago and doesn't feel well yet she keeps going out to do yard work.

Like settle the fuck down please just go visit a park or beach or something and relax for the day.

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God, marriage sounds so stressful. I honestly dont see what the appeal is.

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Thats the older generations for you. Its ingrained in them to no just sit around, to get things done.

Its both admirable and sad at the same time.

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Haha sorry - the discongruence between anticipating a low key weekend and suddenly having twenty things to do is the worst.

Though I am low key jealous that you have in laws coming over and doing house repairs for you :p

Winrawr posted...

most people are fucking trash, women included. not sure why you'd want to marry one

Because some of us aren't misanthropes
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rexcrk posted...

God, marriage sounds so stressful. I honestly dont see what the appeal is.

yeah it's crazy
one day I'm being thanked for taking my MIL to get her vaccine and buying stuff for the cats and for the wife.

the next day I'm being told to "shut the f up" because we had a simple miscommunication about what we were going to do with these 40+ grocery bags of yard waste (I was told this *after* saying, "Hey I'll just go to the store and buy the regular full sized yard waste bags and take them down to the curb myself it's no problem").

Just_a_loser posted...

Thats the older generations for you. Its ingrained in them to no just sit around, to get things done.

Its both admirable and sad at the same time.

It's cool for sure, but there has to be a break, especially in this heat. I know with the pandemic going on we can't do too much to begin with, but there's a lot of nature to explore or less-traveled-to sites and sights.

Oh also I got yelled at for not being engaged more but I don't know what they are doing half the time. They cut down a smaller tree that produced a lot of logs. They told me to buy a mulching machine. I was like "OK we need to sit down and look at the options". Then they said they would just dump it in these woods many hundreds of yards away. Then they were going to hire a company to come out and cut down the remaining trees so I suggested they just have that company take the waste away. But then they wanted me to order the machine but then I came home from work and they had dumped it all in the woods anyway.

Ruvan22 posted...

Haha sorry - the discongruence between anticipating a low key weekend and suddenly having twenty things to do is the worst.

Though I am low key jealous that you have in laws coming over and doing house repairs for you :p

yeah it has been annoying as hell lmao.
last week we were going to get up early to go visit a historical town and walk around and instead it turned into my wife and her mom yelling at each other for an hour in the yard because her mom screwed something up and wouldn't take responsibility for it. I went to take a shower and I came downstairs and they were like "lol ok we got a plan, first I'm going to do your haircut then we'll go to the store and knock out X, Y and Z" and I thought, "Alright finally a plan they even wrote it down" and then I sat on the stairs for an hour waiting for my wife to come in to do the haircut.


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Have you verbally communicated to your wife about how you feel about the situation?

CommonStar posted...

Have you verbally communicated to your wife about how you feel about the situation?

Yes. Several times now.

Like yesterday I came home and the couch was on the yard and I was like "wtf is this" and she was gone.

We had talked about removing the couch. Later I found out she had reserved a pick-up from some charity group, so that's fine but like I would have preferred a heads up...

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Hexenherz posted...

yeah it's crazy
one day I'm being thanked for taking my MIL to get her vaccine and buying stuff for the cats and for the wife.

the next day I'm being told to "shut the f up" because we had a simple miscommunication about what we were going to do with these 40+ grocery bags of yard waste (I was told this *after* saying, "Hey I'll just go to the store and buy the regular full sized yard waste bags and take them down to the curb myself it's no problem").

It's cool for sure, but there has to be a break, especially in this heat. I know with the pandemic going on we can't do too much to begin with, but there's a lot of nature to explore or less-traveled-to sites and sights.

Oh also I got yelled at for not being engaged more but I don't know what they are doing half the time. They cut down a smaller tree that produced a lot of logs. They told me to buy a mulching machine. I was like "OK we need to sit down and look at the options". Then they said they would just dump it in these woods many hundreds of yards away. Then they were going to hire a company to come out and cut down the remaining trees so I suggested they just have that company take the waste away. But then they wanted me to order the machine but then I came home from work and they had dumped it all in the woods anyway.

yeah it has been annoying as hell lmao.
last week we were going to get up early to go visit a historical town and walk around and instead it turned into my wife and her mom yelling at each other for an hour in the yard because her mom screwed something up and wouldn't take responsibility for it. I went to take a shower and I came downstairs and they were like "lol ok we got a plan, first I'm going to do your haircut then we'll go to the store and knock out X, Y and Z" and I thought, "Alright finally a plan they even wrote it down" and then I sat on the stairs for an hour waiting for my wife to come in to do the haircut.

After all that suffering it must have been one awesome DragonBall super sayain haircut!

no lol

I will not complain about the haircut though i am at least grateful that she does that for me.

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Luckily I didn't quite get that far. The stress and bullshit with my Fiancee was too much for both of us I guess. It sucks but at the same time there's a big bright white light of hope at the end of that tunnel.

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Oh and my MIL was installing some little green fence thing that you put pickets into every four or five feet to help section off parts of the yard... with a hatchet. It was probably the scariest thing I've seen since watching my wife trying to mow the hill by picking up the mower and throwing it around while the thing was still actively running.

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I don't think marriage is the problem here. You could be living with this woman as a life partner and you'd probably still be dealing with this bullshit

So its more of a you dont want to deal with the extra drama from in laws.
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Cuticrusader09 posted...

So its more of a you dont want to deal with the extra drama from in laws.

Maybe I don't know. I just hate that it's her mom's last two days here and they're entertaining this whole "oh yeah gotta sand down the porch at 6 pm" idea. How about we rest, go for a walk, play some board games, go out for dinner or literally anything else?

I get stressed out at the idea that I have to get ready for this trip myself, even though I know it's only going to take like ten minutes to pack. But now they're going to be doing house projects and want me to set up this phone for her mom and all this other stuff and it's overwhelming

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Yeah I'm on your side here and i'm probably heavily biased right now but every time you try to plan something nice someone has to come and FUCK IT right up. Ohhhhh but if you don't wanna do what she wants to do you're a jerk off asshole.

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Lol thanks Johnny. Even the yard waste thing was like wtf. She's been throwing yard clippings in a row for years now to mulch it so I thought that's what she was going to do. And I was a piece of shit fucker for suggesting buying 5 dollars worth of bags to clean it up.

Now I just moved this stupid sander that's probably twice my body weight to the back porch let's see how this goes...

I never go out anywhere but I really feel like just hitting up a bar and having some drinks and forgetting everything lmao

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I'm in my second marriage, and just as in my first marriage, both my parents in law died. It's probably starting to look a little suspicious by now...

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Criminalt posted...

I'm in my second marriage, and just as in my first marriage, both my parents in law died. It's probably starting to look a little suspicious by now...

Did they die the same way or something? >.>

I don't mind my in-laws too much, they have quirks that bug me (like the whole talking exclusively with full mouths during meals thing) but they're not bad people. It does drive me crazy when they don't listen to me though. Like we ordered a palette of mulch and I didn't want it sitting in the driveway so I unloaded it all myself, no problem. Her mom comes up in pajamas and slippers and tells me she's going to help and I said it was the last two bags and they were dirty and wet and she was like "oh no let me help" and then she went to pick one up and ... got dirty like come on lady.

Last time she was here it was cold and I was like "make sure to bring a heavy jacket" and did she? No. And then she complained that she was cold...

Doesn't help there's a language barrier. It's sometimes easier to just explain in English to my wife who will interpret it but sometimes she says the Complete opposite of what I said and then I have to switch to the other language and explain it anyway

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Hexenherz posted...

Lol thanks Johnny. Even the yard waste thing was like wtf. She's been throwing yard clippings in a row for years now to mulch it so I thought that's what she was going to do. And I was a piece of shit fucker for suggesting buying 5 dollars worth of bags to clean it up.

Now I just moved this stupid sander that's probably twice my body weight to the back porch let's see how this goes...

I never go out anywhere but I really feel like just hitting up a bar and having some drinks and forgetting everything lmao

Well CE doesn't have alcohol but we are happy to be drinking/venting buddies for you tonight!

Getting legally married is dumb anyway

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I have alcohol and we have a long running drinking topic to go with it.

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Hexenherz posted...

Did they die the same way or something?

One cancer, one heart attack, one alcoholism, one murdered by Islamic fundamentalists.

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So I was like "we need to put the sander in the garage in case it rains" and then her mom disappeared for half an hour and I tried to lower it myself and that was a terrible idea.

Oh well. Yard looks beautiful at least.

Criminalt posted...

One cancer, one heart attack, one alcoholism, one murdered by Islamic fundamentalists.

That's. .. is your spouse from another country ? That last one sounds terrifying

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Fun fact - this machine weighs 166 pounds which is over 30 pounds heavier than me.

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Is she Russian?

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Is this the Kristy Krabs

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Hexenherz posted...

Fun fact - this machine weighs 166 pounds which is over 30 pounds heavier than me.

How the fuck tall are you?

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Hexenherz posted...

That's. .. is your spouse from another country ? That last one sounds terrifying

My first wife was from Nigeria. Her father was a Baptist minister. He lived in Jos, a city in Plateau State, right on the faultline between the Muslim north and the Christian south. It's a religiously mixed city, and it's got a history of Muslim-Christian violence.

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coolcono posted...

Is she Russian?

Ukrainian.
RetsuZaiZen posted...

How the fuck tall are you?

5'9" lol

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We bought her a new phone. Trying to set it up. I ask what her Gmail password is. She doesn't know. Can't recover it because come to find out she paid some guy to set the phone up and the Gmail account all goes through his accounts...

Also have to scan each contact individually because the contacts app isn't letting me just export the address book.

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Took the sander back, come home, wife is passed off, MIL is crying and gives me $100 to pay for the luggage for the flight and I'm asking what's going on and my wife just keeps repeating she's mad at me like wtf lol

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Sounds like your mother in law is quite active. That's a good thing. Mine can barely move. It's sad when I think about how she won't really be able to play with her grandson.
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My in laws are wildly irresponsible in different ways that create a lot of issues for them. Thankfully, my wife realizes this and keeps them at arms length at this point.

When we first started dating I referred to them as anchors and she burst into tears because she had never heard anything besides "It's your mom and you have to help her" type advice. She'd been gaslit her entire life so someone that understood reality was breath of fresh air.

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So if I understand you right, you called them "anchors" in the sense that they drag her down/keep her from progressing? It's interesting because I always used it in the sense that it's someone who keeps you rooted and you can go to for help. Never saw it the other way!

Our biggest issue is that she and her mom are the same impulsive and angry person and they wind up yelling at each other.

Even just now when her mom was crying and I was like "What's going on?" and tried to get them to talk to each other to understand it and then her mom was walking away and my wife was like, "Can you just explain what you're feeling in normal grown-up words??" Come on man gotta just be more patient than that.

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Also frustrated I won't be able to get this phone set up for her, I think she took her old one with her and I had to return that tool and so I can't copy the contacts down or... do really anything.

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Hexenherz posted...

We bought her a new phone. Trying to set it up. I ask what her Gmail password is. She doesn't know. Can't recover it because come to find out she paid some guy to set the phone up and the Gmail account all goes through his accounts...

Also have to scan each contact individually because the contacts app isn't letting me just export the address book.

God. Just reading this gave me anxiety lol. Sorry, dude.

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rexcrk posted...

God. Just reading this gave me anxiety lol. Sorry, dude.

lol it was rough, I had to explain a few different ways why we couldn't just wipe the phone and call it good. I checked Chrome and it didn't look like she had any saved passwords so that's good at least... I think. Unless it was saving it to the other guy's account somehow.

Also need to figure out how to get texts and stuff to set up her other programs (for verification).

I have Wi-Fi enabled, disabled data roaming but she doesn't receive any messages unless I turn off airplane mode and I'm paranoid it's going to rack up a huge bill for her.

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"Get ready, we're going to a restaurant at 6:30, I'll message you where"

> it's 6:56

I do feel kind of sad though, we don't have visitors over like at all ever and I enjoyed having some other company, and I enjoyed whatever time we actually did spend together.

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7:30

my big thing forever has been like just please communicate with me lmao there have been days where my wife has stayed at the office until like 9 or even 10 PM and I tried calling and texting and she didn't respond at all, so then I started driving around to see if she was OK or something and then she tells me she was just angry and had a long day. Or her boss invited her to dinner and they stayed out later than she expected. like that's all cool and stuff but can you just text me to let me know that?

Oh she got mad at me for not calling her to tell her the sander thing was as heavy as it was. Except I had called her five minutes before I picked it up to ask about something else at home depot and she didn't pick up. And when I got home her phone was on the table and she was outside. But she has told me like a dozen times now that I should have called her, and I am confused af because what difference would it have made?

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Almost 8 pm.

Tempted to just drive to taco bell at this point then coming home and sleeping because I have an early flight

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Wow... I'm getting anxiety too just reading the past day's events! Did you get your stuff packed? Do your in laws talk much about the Russia / Ukraine conflict?