Current Events > CE's Anonymous Confessionary: Take Two!

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Harpie
10/15/21 1:33:46 AM
#101:


(femboy confessor) A quick look at the Kinsey scale suggests I'd be a 1 or a 2. I mostly like women, but femininity is attractive regardless of whether it's a man or a woman. That said, I'm also into masculine women, but not masculine men? Sexuality is weird lol
It's weird and it will likely evolve and change over time, so don't be too worried about making yourself fit into any labels. I'm between 2 and 3, but I have also have a somewhat random assortment of people I am attracted to

Oh, I made you blush
You're so flustered and flushed
Those little juicy cheeks are all red in your tush

Don't strain your brain slushie, I can see that you're nonplussed
So reach for the heavens and light up some good kush
and ride the up and down, kick and the push

Sweet mommy milkin
From my gaze you be bilkin
Gonna be wondering my name like I'm Rumpelstiltskin
This is definitely the highlight of this topic for me thus far, wow. Thank you this is amazing!!!! :D

I only know of one person who's talented enough to write like this...

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Harpie
10/15/21 1:48:31 AM
#102:


I'm not feeling particularly writey at the moment so I don't think I will write any spicy erotic CE fanfiction right now, but maybe next time. I was brainstorming but didn't really decide on which CE people I want to include but since you specifically said spicy, I definitely intend to have a scene where at least one user gets buffalo chicken mac and cheese all over their bare genitals. It will have had time to cool down a bit because I'm not some savage. I also wonder if keeping it PG-13 would be a struggle.

The goal would be for it to mostly be stupid and whimsical and not explicit at all. I think I would probably include Duncan in it. He would be fun to write because he often speaks very matter of factly and I enjoy writing that style of dialog and often imagine characters like that to be very deadpan and monotone... Like he would arrive on scene and be like "I notice you have buffalo chicken mac and cheese all over your genitals." The other character in the scene, maybe you? Wouldn't have to be you... just, I mean, mac and cheese, so... but in any case, would be like "come get some..." or something. Duncan would oblige and would portion it out evenly onto 2 plates or into 2 bowls, might look around in the kitchen first, like he has to find them and some silverware and maybe you're out of napkins so he has to look under the sink for paper towels or something... and right when it's clear your ready, he gets back up for soda or water or whatever, because he forgot during the initial trip to the kitchen.

Maybe all the while, Vegy in a bigfoot costume would be really loudly grunting and humping the sliding door in the background? We could have Duckbear standing naked behind the couch where you and Duncan are, just staring down at the mac and cheese and repeating "But it is HOT?" over and over, and after you finish eating he gets more aggressive with the question like he's really not pleased that he's being ignored. The whole time you or the other CEgal if you don't want to be female protagonist here. Maybe kbelf would be up for it? She seems like she'd be down to be in a story like this. Well we need a 2nd CEgal at this point so you can decide amongst yourselves who gets which role, but one will have to take one for the team and have the buffalo chicken mac and cheese on your genitals and the other one... can be like... the one who lives in this apartment and shows up a bit later and freaks out like "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE AND HOW DID YOU GET IN? I'M CALLING THE COPS!" and Walter is like "I'm the cops. This is fine. Don't worry about it" before taking a few shots of whiskey and shooting the TV... and Johnny is running around the apartment yowling and chasing cat toys and knocking various shit over because he didn't have his walk today and has to get out his energy.

Damn... okay... well now I'm thinking of the rest of the drinking topic people and I want to include them too so I guess their just mostly all hanging out in the bedroom. Some of them are probably having an orgy. Joe is probably posting ferret pics, someone is definitely riding Goats around the room, actually maybe they are all taking turns, Machete jumped off the balcony at some point and is passed out in the pool down below. Jim... what can we have Jim doing? Probably part of the orgy but maybe also drawing stuff. I guess we can have Error in there too. Someone needs to clean up after the orgy and it might as well be a Penguins fan... oh and JustMyOpinion is in the apartment below banging on the ceiling and yelling at everyone to shut the fuck up because he's trying to sleep even though it's like 2 in the afternoon.

A plane drops out of the sky and explodes against the lower part of the building and now the structural integrity is compromised so everyone stops what they are doing. JustMyOpinion starts yelling at the plane now and he's on fire. Machete wakes up and gets out of the pool to take a leak, which he does into the pool. So other than those two, everyone mentioned so far was in the main apartment and the time of the plane crash so you're all panicking and suddenly it's like the genre switched from whatever to a like disaster movie type scenario. Firethief who is the local fire marshal runs in and yells at everyone to go to the fire escape to get out so you all run out of the apartment except Johnny. He's high as fuck on catnip and jumps out the window and falls, but he's a cat so he lands on the grass and is fine.

When the rest of you get to the fire escape, Firethief yells "Oh no it's on fire too!" so he and Dawkins go to jail and are cell mates and have a bunch of hilarious jail adventures. The rest of you try to find another way to escape. Duncan says "We could try the stairs or those stairs that move at 1 mph" pointing at the escalator. Everyone thinks that's a bad idea so you try the elevator instead. It is not on fire because it's a freight elevator. Walter shoots the door open and everyone fits inside. Duckbear comments on the maximum weight capacity of the elevator and calls it a heifer, About halfway down, it stops inexplicably.

Walter shoots the door open again. You can't tell which floor it's on because it's fucking really dark. This could be where a ghost shows up. I got bored with the other things so now it's different shit going on. It's the ghost of Guesswho33's account that got banned yesterday> Vegy starts rambling about paranormal shit. Nevermind... I'm not feeling any of this. I got off topic for a bit there. Okay, so back to what this was originally intended to be so freight elevator naked Carolina Reaper shot sauce wrestling for everyone who is still in the story at this point. Secondary orgy probable. Then maybe some games? CEmen have dick measuring contests (one for length, one for girth obviously) and CEgals have Carolina Reaper sauce squirting contests (one for distance, one for volume obviously)? Winners get coupons to Bennigan's. Everyone makes it out alive, even JustMyOpinion but he's a skeleton now. So like I said, not really feeling writey and not coming up with ideas but maybe next time and the moral of the story is that this is what happens when I got insomnia for more than 24 hours at a time. I need to start voice recording when my brain gets like this because it's easier than typing. Oh and Error is still on cleaning duty so he doesn't get to leave the elevator until it is SPOTLESS.
YES YES YES YES THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER READ
this isn't even a fully written story and yet this is amazing wow incredibly chaotic much deviancy. I would be absolutely HONORED to be the main gal. Or if not me then I would like to involve @kbelfisBACK , @TeaMilk , @ApherosyLove , and the 15 other cegals that I cannot add the username's bc of 10 tag limit IM SORRY pls

I know you're not writing but I think everyone deserves to see this

@Duncanwii @ssj3vegeta2 @mrduckbear @Machete @JustMyOpinion @JimCarrysToe @Johnny_Nutcase

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Kanaya413
10/15/21 1:51:09 AM
#103:


Zodd3224 posted...
I remember some good ones about me back in the day. One very explicit one about me and Vulgar as well. Good times.
Im curious
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JimCarrysToe
10/15/21 1:55:53 AM
#104:


Lol throw the virgin in the orgy! Nah, id come in with ketchup filled supersoakers blasting everyone and ruining the orgy, then me and harpy would do something devious in johnnys car. Sex? Drugs? Bologna? Who knows!

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''This - except for the raisins - is the body of christ.''
''But raisins are grapes and wine is made of grapes so its like a 2 in 1 shampoo except with jesus.''
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Harpie
10/15/21 1:56:46 AM
#105:


I don't understand addiction. My dad's been a raging alcoholic for as long as I can remember. He was sober at work, but his first stop after work was the liquor store and he didn't wait until he got home to start drinking. I don't really have any memory of him when he was sober, he's just always been drunk. Every day for at least 20+ years, drinking until he passes out. A few years ago he ran out of money (spent most of it on liquor, naturally) and was forced to sober up, and he seemed ... fine. Didn't seem to have obvious withdrawal symptoms and could go months at a time without drinking. I'd always kinda despised his obsession with the stuff and don't drink myself, so I was proud of him for "giving it up". Our relationship was better than it had ever been even though we're very different, because I could actually talk to him in a way I never could before. After being out of money for a couple years he's picked up some odd jobs mowing lawns or some shit (he's disabled and not capable of doing much), and I'm sure you can guess the first thing he always buys whenever he gets money. The only thing, really. He also has some rich friends so he has money more often than not now, and it's back to the same old thing. Just drowning himself until he passes out night after night after night. I feel like I should have sympathy for him because he's family and he does seem to love me in his own way, but mostly I just feel this revulsion. Not for him, not really, just this slavery to the bottle that's been the focal point of his life for as long as I've known him. I'm ashamed of thinking of it that way because I know it depresses him that he believes I don't love him, which probably doesn't help things. He's probably not long for this world and I wish I could find some way to patch things up with him, but I feel like time is only increasing the distance between us.
I understand what it feels like too, your story is nearly identical to mine in many ways. It's sad to imagine what their day to day life is, and how they seemingly choose that everyday over a happier, more fulfilling sober life. Don't feel bad about thinking the way you do, he is the one who made that decision. I still reach out to my dad for similar reasons too, I don't think he'll be here much longer
It's tough, but you're not alone <3

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Johnny_Nutcase
10/15/21 1:58:08 AM
#106:


What? I'm eating. Wall of shit everywhere.

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Drunk people really make a lot of sense if you don't know what they're talking about - Jim Lahey
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Harpie
10/15/21 1:59:38 AM
#107:


Everyday I wish @Aeriis will just notice me
Well maybe today is the day ;P

I have discovered the secret to removing [vagina] juice stains from a wolf shirt
lmao well tell the class what is is now cmon

can I post zeldas instead of links
not sure what that means but yes

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ApherosyLove
10/15/21 2:01:04 AM
#108:


Harpie posted...
YES YES YES YES THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER READ
this isn't even a fully written story and yet this is amazing wow incredibly chaotic much deviancy. I would be absolutely HONORED to be the main gal. Or if not me then I would like to involve @kbelfisBACK , @TeaMilk , @ApherosyLove , and the 15 other cegals that I cannot add the username's bc of 10 tag limit IM SORRY pls
Aight I'm currently playing video games but I kinda skimmed the beginning.
I will throw out for the purpose of this board I am a raging lesbian so I want my character to reflect such.
Willing that much, I'm down.

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I, Apherosy, Goddess of Love.
https://imgur.com/YTIL81T
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Pandamonic
10/15/21 2:01:34 AM
#109:


That CE fanfiction was a damn good read lol

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...it's a very rare incantation to be sure. Only used in lost ancient arts and magics such as wrestling...
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Harpie
10/15/21 2:02:47 AM
#110:


Kanaya413 posted...
Im curious
maybe I should make a discord for confession's too spicy for ce
it would be a lot of fun lmao

JimCarrysToe posted...
Lol throw the virgin in the orgy! Nah, id come in with ketchup filled supersoakers blasting everyone and ruining the orgy, then me and harpy would do something devious in johnnys car. Sex? Drugs? Bologna? Who knows!
You blast everyone with the ketchup supersoaker while I slap mac and cheese on everyone else's genitals. We'd make the best bologna passion filled kraken killing squad

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Johnny_Nutcase
10/15/21 2:04:35 AM
#111:


JimCarrysToe posted...
Lol throw the virgin in the orgy! Nah, id come in with ketchup filled supersoakers blasting everyone and ruining the orgy, then me and harpy would do something devious in johnnys car. Sex? Drugs? Bologna? Who knows!

I'm eating still.... what??

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Drunk people really make a lot of sense if you don't know what they're talking about - Jim Lahey
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Harpie
10/15/21 2:06:14 AM
#112:


Johnny_Nutcase posted...
What? I'm eating. Wall of shit everywhere.
read post #102 you savage

ApherosyLove posted...
Aight I'm currently playing video games but I kinda skimmed the beginning.
I will throw out for the purpose of this board I am a raging lesbian so I want my character to reflect such.
Willing that much, I'm down.
my body's so ready for this
most of the cegals are at least bi irrc too
;OOOOOO

sorry Im so obnoxious today LOL

Pandamonic posted...
That CE fanfiction was a damn good read lol
yes
this is ce's infamous choose-your-story storyteller

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Harpie
10/15/21 2:07:37 AM
#113:


@CanuckCowboy your son is in a fanfiction
post #102

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Harpie
10/15/21 2:08:34 AM
#114:


I have an entire drawer full of womens clothing. Like underwear, bras, shorts, skirts, dresses. Wear it from time to time, but never to work and only the underwear outside.
Oooh that's really cool! Where do you get your stuff from. Do you wear it for fun or to feel more yourself?

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ApherosyLove
10/15/21 2:11:58 AM
#115:


Harpie posted...
sorry Im so obnoxious today LOL
No such thang

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I, Apherosy, Goddess of Love.
https://imgur.com/YTIL81T
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AirFresh
10/15/21 2:12:15 AM
#116:


Harpie posted...
I have a crush on AirFresh
Wait wtf who this

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Half-shark-alligator-half-man
Half man, half shark!
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Harpie
10/15/21 2:28:11 AM
#117:


I'm obsessed with death to a scary degree all I think about some times is losing the people I love and sometimes wonder if [I might start to think] I'd just be better off being with them.
There's always tomorrow, and tomorrow might bring better things. If you haven't tried reaching out to someone who can help you with your obsession with death, doing so would relieve the heaviness you feel with it. It's helped me a lot with similar obsessed thinking patterns.

I took a dump on SBAllen's doorstep and ran.
smh he deserves it for abandoning me and the kids

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Harpie
10/15/21 2:28:17 AM
#118:


Yo momma so fat, Chuck Norris couldn't lift her.
wow i just got absolutely DESTROYED

I purposely put bedbugs on the beds at the mattress store.
I love you

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Harpie
10/15/21 2:37:03 AM
#119:


where is catboy
when is catboy?

Show boobs
nah I need a good reason to know
like when i entered the bet ended up making me dress in soft goth for ce

Are people who try to keep jobs but can't a loser in your eye?
No, almost never. People who can't keep jobs typically aren't doing it for fun, there's usually something going on that's out of their control

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ApherosyLove
10/15/21 3:08:31 AM
#120:


Harpie posted...
just staring down at the mac and cheese and repeating "But it is HOT?" over and over
Absolute lol.

Harpie posted...
maybe I should make a discord for confession's too spicy for ce
it would be a lot of fun lmao
Ah, I accidentally removed myself from a bunch of CE discords earlier this week and I'm too shy to ask for re-invites ._.

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I, Apherosy, Goddess of Love.
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ssj3vegeta2
10/15/21 10:34:21 AM
#121:


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Vyrulisse
10/15/21 1:47:58 PM
#122:


ssj3vegeta2 posted...
Yes write a story about me and a CEgal pls, don't include megatech doe
@ssj3vegeta2 Hey Vegy I played Diablo 2 with Megatech the other day u jelly

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TheRadiant
10/15/21 1:48:54 PM
#123:


Vyrulisse posted...
Hey Vegy I played Diablo 2 with Megatech the other day u jelly
I am ._.

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Hairy-man
10/15/21 1:49:14 PM
#124:


Vyrulisse posted...
@ssj3vegeta2 Hey Vegy I played Diablo 2 with Megatech the other day u jelly


Why dontchu play with me Vy???? :(

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Your friendly, neighborhood Hairyman
CEW Commissioner
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Zodd3224
10/15/21 1:58:40 PM
#125:


Not a single person here has played Diablo 2 with me

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TheRadiant
10/15/21 2:00:07 PM
#126:


Zodd3224 posted...
Not a single person here has played Diablo 2 with me
In my defense I don't own Diablo 2

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Zodd3224
10/15/21 2:02:53 PM
#127:


TheRadiant posted...
In my defense I don't own Diablo 2

Neither do I, but that's besides the point

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ssj3vegeta2
10/15/21 2:44:54 PM
#128:


Vyrulisse posted...

@ssj3vegeta2 Hey Vegy I played Diablo 2 with Megatech the other day u jelly

As long as it ain't smash
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JimCarrysToe
10/15/21 4:09:49 PM
#129:


Harpie posted...
I purposely put bedbugs on the beds at the mattress store.

MOTHERFUCKER! So it was YOU!?!?


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''This - except for the raisins - is the body of christ.''
''But raisins are grapes and wine is made of grapes so its like a 2 in 1 shampoo except with jesus.''
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CanuckCowboy
10/15/21 4:37:30 PM
#130:


Harpie posted...
YES YES YES YES THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER READ
this isn't even a fully written story and yet this is amazing wow incredibly chaotic much deviancy. I would be absolutely HONORED to be the main gal. Or if not me then I would like to involve @kbelfisBACK , @TeaMilk , @ApherosyLove , and the 15 other cegals that I cannot add the username's bc of 10 tag limit IM SORRY pls

I know you're not writing but I think everyone deserves to see this

@Duncanwii @ssj3vegeta2 @mrduckbear @Machete @JustMyOpinion @JimCarrysToe @Johnny_Nutcase

It's a little dissappointing Walter didnt kill anyone, but if I was rich Id turn this into the greatest film series of alltime.

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"Extension cord wrapped 'round the base of my penis in defiance of societal norms."
https://files.catbox.moe/gqwlkg.jpeg ~ by JimCarrysToe. Be amaze.
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TheRadiant
10/15/21 4:50:42 PM
#131:


ssj3vegeta2 posted...
As long as it ain't smash
They play that on the weekends it's weird cause neither of them own a Nintendo console

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Yefoloogi
10/15/21 4:52:40 PM
#132:


Where can I sign up to put Buffalo chicken Mac and cheese on my bobs and vagene?

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(@)(@)
ZzzzZ
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Zodd3224
10/15/21 5:01:51 PM
#133:


Yefoloogi posted...
Where can I sign up to put Buffalo chicken Mac and cheese on my bobs and vagene?

Pretty sure everyone here already does that

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Yefoloogi
10/15/21 5:05:41 PM
#134:


Zodd3224 posted...
Pretty sure everyone here already does that


Asshole too?

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(@)(@)
ZzzzZ
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_Angel_
10/15/21 5:24:39 PM
#135:


Dear CE

Today they gave me the wrong sauce for my nuggies

I was highly vexed to put it *mildly*

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Nostalgia, how I remember things.
Remember crowns, remember kings.
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Harpie
10/15/21 7:00:28 PM
#136:


Night in the wildnerness with a scent of blood with no weapons or a night under a bridge with no weapons. Which would you choose?
Wilderness; sleeping under a bridge here in Seattle with nothing is basically me just asking to get assaulted

Okay, so I recently have started living with a cat. The cat in question has its litter box set up in my bathroom. Twice now I have used the bathroom, smelled kitty litter, and assumed the smell was coming from my own toilet. And both times my first though was, "holy shit, I think I'm turning into a cat." And not the more obvious fucking conclusion of "oh it's just the cat's shit."
I mean if both times that's what you thought.... maybe ur a furry

Read my confession you coward
While it is technically true it's still flaming and will not only get this topic closed, but it will get me banned
rephrase it or forget about it

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Harpie
10/15/21 7:02:35 PM
#137:


I'm nearly 40 and I keep fucking people in their 20s this isn't where I thought I'd be in life and I'm miserable
I thought that was supposed to be a good thing

why do you wanna settle down or something

I have a crush on @JimCarrysToe her absurdity and weird posting is endearing
same tbh

I once pretended to be a transgender person on CE but I am not actually transgendered.
interesting
maybe you need to look deeper inside yourself ;00000

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TheRadiant
10/15/21 7:11:40 PM
#138:


Is someone breaking the rules?

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Harpie
10/15/21 7:11:45 PM
#139:


I feel confused about my sexuality. I've been in a position for, uhhh ... intimacy ... twice, and both times were stressful, awkward, and vaguely traumatizing. Any libido I had just evaporated into thin air and I wanted to be anywhere else. Full-on shaking like I'm freezing and probably on the verge of a panic attack or something, which isn't anything I've ever dealt with in any other capacity. Felt so emasculating and embarrassing, like wtf is wrong with me? I don't think I'm asexual. I have a libido and I'm attracted to/crush on women, but the thought of actually being intimate with someone else just feels so wrong and awful. I don't know if these are feelings I need to accept or things I need to work through, and I don't know how to go about doing either of those. But it must feel so nice to fall in love and to be able to do these kinds of things like they're just normal, everyday things.
Well, first things first it helps to do research. I'm not a doctor or a therapist, so I won't be able to give you the help you truly need or tell you if it's a medical, trauma related or sexual orientation issue. I will note though that sexuality is fluid and is on a spectrum. You can be asexual, demisexual (unable to be sexually attracted to someone you aren't close with), etc etc. I'm sure that there are others here that know much, much more about these kinda things so hopefully someone else can chip in lol

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Harpie
10/15/21 7:12:26 PM
#140:


TheRadiant posted...
Is someone breaking the rules?
oh yes absolutely

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Harpie
10/15/21 7:13:27 PM
#141:


okay I gotta do schoolwork I don't really have time to post here in the daytime, so imma just paste the rest of the submissions and you guys can respond to them if you'd like (pls)

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Harpie
10/15/21 7:14:02 PM
#142:


"I used to not brush my teeth much. When i started careing a little i was using what i thought was my brush but my mom came in and asked why im using hers..... i never recovered. WE never recovered."

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DocileOrangeCup
10/15/21 7:14:16 PM
#143:


Can I be in the fan fic I can play the guy who looks at the Mac and chease and says "I'll have what she's having WUBBA WUBBA"

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Harpie
10/15/21 7:14:30 PM
#144:


"Hi. This is CJayC. I'm still here. I actively post on multiple social boards. But no one knows it's me. Haha. PS: I'm not a lamer."

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Harpie
10/15/21 7:16:23 PM
#145:


"Tell us all about how [ceman] creeped on you when you were a kid"
by sliding into my dms and acting like they wanted to be my friend, then after earning my trust asked for pictures

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Harpie
10/15/21 7:16:36 PM
#146:


"I am not ok with the kind of porn/hentai that I look at. It's not illegal, but it's fucked up. And I don't feel like I can talk about this issue with anybody, including my therapist."

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Tyranthraxus
10/15/21 7:17:20 PM
#147:


Harpie posted...
"I am not ok with the kind of porn/hentai that I look at. It's not illegal, but it's fucked up. And I don't feel like I can talk about this issue with anybody, including my therapist."

Lmao this is a Scotty Rogers post I bet

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It says right here in Matthew 16:4 "Jesus doth not need a giant Mecha."
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Harpie
10/15/21 7:19:47 PM
#148:


JimCarrysToe posted...
MOTHERFUCKER! So it was YOU!?!?
whatcha gonna DO ABOUT IT JIM

_Angel_ posted...
Dear CE

Today they gave me the wrong sauce for my nuggies

I was highly vexed to put it *mildly*
if you didn't body slam the cashier i am highly disappointed

DocileOrangeCup posted...
Can I be in the fan fic I can play the guy who looks at the Mac and chease and says "I'll have what she's having WUBBA WUBBA"
YES what a perfect segway to slapping mac and cheese on the supreme cornholio's genitals

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TheRadiant
10/15/21 7:20:57 PM
#149:


Harpie posted...
okay I gotta do schoolwork
Go! Don't be like me and be on CE in your 30s

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Harpie
10/15/21 7:21:00 PM
#150:


"I never asked Harpie for pictures"
Maybe you didn't, but a few did

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