Current Events > Patriotic Chri$tian Family refuse to hand out candy to lazy entitled freeloaders

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InTheEyesOfFire
10/18/21 2:19:30 PM
#51:




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I should not walk so a child may live.
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Questionmarktarius
10/18/21 3:21:38 PM
#52:


pick4six posted...
Jesus was like the most socialist person in the world lmao
If anything, Jesus was proof that getting socialist policy to actually work would require divine intervention.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feeding_the_multitude
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yusiko
10/18/21 3:42:48 PM
#53:


_BlueMonk posted...
"Then Christ said unto his disciples: Fuck dem kids." Bible, Chapter 2, Verse 3


fun fact there is a bible story with that message :)
a bunch of children made fun of a guys bald head
so he prayed to got to teach those children a lesson
and god then sent a bear to maul those children to death

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yusketeer
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DuneMan
10/18/21 3:53:38 PM
#54:


yusiko posted...
fun fact there is a bible story with that message :)
a bunch of children made fun of a guys bald head
so he prayed to got to teach those children a lesson
and god then sent a bear to maul those children to death
Sounds like Old Testament God, since he was generally a raging asshole.

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"I'd rather betray the world than let the world betray me." -Cao Cao
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gamer167
10/18/21 4:00:31 PM
#55:


Is there any proof that this is real?

Seems obviously satirical.
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LastTomorrow
10/18/21 4:05:39 PM
#56:


LostForest posted...
I appreciate that this picture at least acknowledges that not all Christians are conservatives lol.

The jackasses in the original picture are probably Jehovah's witnesses or some sort of niche southern bullshit church. Vast majority of Christians I know celebrate and enjoy Halloween. Fuck those guys who made that note though, lol.
My mom hated Halloween, but she would not like the op pic.

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Waffle, waffle, waffle
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HylianFox
10/18/21 4:07:43 PM
#57:


Them saying they pay their taxes is also rather suspect

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This is my signature until I can think of a better one.
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Laserion
10/18/21 4:08:08 PM
#58:


Jesus split and multiplied the fish and bread to give to everyone.

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There's no "would of", "should of" or "could of".
It's "would've", "should've" and "could've".
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VipaGTS
10/18/21 8:04:07 PM
#59:


Laserion posted...
Jesus split and multiplied the fish and bread to give to everyone.
Nah satan made that story up to fool us. Jesus really just handed out bootstraps and told his followers to leave his city if they were unhappy there.

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"I devour urine just like my Portland Trailblazers, with piss poor defense."
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Solar_Crimson
10/19/21 11:10:35 AM
#60:


SSJPurple posted...
lmao

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I often wonder if we are growing as a people... or in fact, regressing.
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Mearcstapa
10/19/21 11:16:49 AM
#61:


LostForest posted...
The jackasses in the original picture are probably Jehovah's witnesses or some sort of niche southern bullshit church

The profession of "patriotism" on the paper certainly excludes Jehovah's Witnesses.

This is either some dumbass evangelical bullshit or someone satirizing dumb evangelical bullshit.

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after years of waiting
nothing came
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VipaGTS
10/19/21 12:07:47 PM
#62:


Also, can I add, to these patriotic American Christians, if one wants to find Jesus theyre best bet would be to look in the Middle Eastjust saying. Jesus isnt American you clowns.

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"I devour urine just like my Portland Trailblazers, with piss poor defense."
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CanuckCowboy
10/19/21 12:33:00 PM
#63:


i remember how Jesus was always saying charity is awful and you should never be giving or share. That was his whole message right? Look out for yourself and fuck everyone else?

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"Extension cord wrapped 'round the base of my penis in defiance of societal norms."
https://files.catbox.moe/gqwlkg.jpeg ~ by JimCarrysToe. Be amaze.
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DuneMan
10/19/21 1:35:39 PM
#64:


CanuckCowboy posted...
i remember how Jesus was always saying charity is awful and you should never be giving or share. That was his whole message right? Look out for yourself and fuck everyone else?
Can confirm, Supply Side Jesus said all of those things.

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"I'd rather betray the world than let the world betray me." -Cao Cao
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mustachedmystic
10/19/21 1:43:04 PM
#65:


VipaGTS posted...
Jesus isnt American you clowns.
Yes he is, he immigrated here in 1789.

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Vegy is a 30 year old man, who's pretending to be a 60 year old woman that likes to act like a 57 year old man that pretends to be a horny 16 year old boy.
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