Current Events > If one person in a gay couple becomes a transgender woman

(+) Yeah! (+)

are they now just a regular boring straight couple?
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Let the hair-splitting begin.

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No because trans is part of queer

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CE is not the place to make this thread
this is one of the most transphobic and homophobic boards on gamefacks

Also, why use 'regular'?

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Likewise, if one person in a straight couple transitions, then they're now a gay couple.

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TC is known for making topics like these, and I suspect they're all ingenuine

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g0ldie posted...

TC is known for making topics like these, and I suspect they're all ingenuine

Probably wasn't gonna return to the topic either

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I don't know any trans people and I made a genuine topic asking general questions about it once and I've never gotten so much hate

That does not help getting people to their side, I'm just as uneducated as before

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MedeaLysistrata posted...

Probably wasn't gonna return to the topic either

true

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There's two lines of thought here.

1) she was always a woman and they have always been a straight couple by definition.

2) (insert dissenting opinion about the validity of transgenderism)

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MedeaLysistrata posted...

No because trans is part of queer... so they'd be a straight queer couple I guess

But trans women are women, so they'd just be a straight couple.

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They might become split up

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g0ldie posted...

TC is known for making topics like these, and I suspect they're all ingenuine

Im genuinely trying to learn. I would assume this would make them now a straight couple based on what I understand about how it works. Am I wrong?

MedeaLysistrata posted...

Probably wasn't gonna return to the topic either

Im at work.
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EffectAndCause posted...

are they now just a regular boring straight couple?

In my experience, it generally depends on how both partners view their relationship.

I have met one couple where the gay man still viewed his transwoman partner as male "on the inside" despite the significant surgical changes to said partner's body. They both insisted they were comfortable with this stipulation and valued the fact that it worked for them. The gay man made it clear he had no intention of ever identifying as any other orientation besides the homosexuality he lived for over 40 years despite settling down with someone who later identifies as a woman. And his trans partner voiced respect for that condition because it felt mutual. She said she really valued the relationship more than idealism, stating that "trying to settle down as a trans woman" seemed like an almost impossible feat as is. That understanding is part of why they felt comfortable enough to remain married even after one partner transitioned. She said she felt fine about compromising for him because honestly he made one of the biggest compromises a gay man could make in return. The man continues to identify as a gay male while the wife identifies as a transwoman. They said other people understanding how that works was unnecessary and critique was unwelcomed.

Another couple I met contrasted heavily and basically went the opposite direction. A couple that was originally 2 gay men decided to begin identifying as a straight couple because the transwoman partner felt more comfortable and the other partner consented. I would imagine this is probably a more ideal arrangement for the trans partner compared to above. Although I could definitely see reasons why it would not be a simple adjustment for everyone to make within gay communities.

As someone who's been active within gay communities for years, I saw both arrangements as valid despite what some critics would say. Both couples functioned in their own ways as happy pairings. To me that's primarily what matters.

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MedeaLysistrata posted...

Also, why use 'regular'?

Regular meaning common, not regular meaning normal.
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DocDelicious posted...

But trans women are women, so they'd just be a straight couple.

Hmm? Yes. I added that into my post

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EffectAndCause posted...

Regular meaning common, not regular meaning normal.

Oh. You should focus on work and not think about this too hard.

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I dont think it matters enough to really need to make a distinction here

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Jiek_Fafn posted...

I dont think it matters enough to really need to make a distinction here

This. Labeling people isn't always productive.

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Jiek_Fafn posted...

I dont think it matters enough to really need to make a distinction here

So correctly labeling things doesnt matter? Now im really confused.
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ClockworkHare posted...

As someone who's been active within gay communities for years, I saw both arrangements as valid despite what some critics would say. Both couples functioned in their own ways as happy pairings. To me that's primarily what matters.

I agree with this, however dont these kinds of grey areas become problematic in instances when people are trying to get others to label them as or describe them correctly in other instances?

Or do sexual orientation labels matter less than gender labels? I wouldve thought the opposite with all the new -sexual labels that have popped up in the last 10-15 years.

I would assume that having concrete rules and explanations would only help educate people outside the community, rather than having hard rules in some areas and being whatever about other areas.
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That basically happened to my sister, except it was a transman. As far as I know, my sister still considered herself gay. They wound up breaking up, but that was mostly because of other reasons as I understand it.

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M_Live posted...

CE's obsession with this shit is so weird

Would you rather people not ask these questions and make their own answers?

I dont think theyll like the answers that red states come up with.
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M_Live posted...

It's important to remember that gay and especially trans people make up an extremely small part of the world's population so the odds of encountering this situation are fairly slim to none.

To me this mentality only encourages not giving a shit about getting it right or abiding by peoples preferred pronouns or labels.
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They would be a straight couple, but if the man was fully gay and not bi/pansexual, it would likely end the relationship.