Poll of the Day > Engagement advice

(+) Yeah! (+)

It's very...intimidating. My girlfriend and I wanna get married but the pandemic definitely threw a wrench in our timing.
Long story short, I'm considering getting her a ring despite these variations emerging again around the holidays.
Is it appropriate to take her to a store to pick it herself? I'd love to have it already, but idk how to casually get a ring size.
Is it lame to ask her on my birthday or new year's day; is that too cliche?
She's not super girly or into the norms surrounding weddings, but made it clear that she does want to be married.
We've been together almost 4 and a half years and I was really planning on asking after about 3 years but...yeah, the pandemic happened.

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Whatever you do, just don't do it in public.

VioletMassacre posted...

Dont overthink it. Me and my wife went together so we both got rings we were happy with and could measure our fingers at the same time. Then we could choose which day to actually get engaged too.

So like, when they were made became your engagement date?

Thanks for this advice. I just don't wanna toss a ring in her lap and have that be all the excitement of it. I want it to memorable as well.

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I haven't done it yet, but my strat is to take her to the store under the guise of buying something for my mom, sister, or whoever has an important celebration coming up.

Before that day, I'd go to the store, ask to talk with a manager, tell them I'd be coming in on X day with my girlfriend, tell them to casually ask her if she knows her ring size or if she'd like to get measured for it while I pretend to shop for a necklace or whatever, and have them write it on the receipt.

Probably overcomplicated, but I'm really into the surprising factor.

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VioletMassacre posted...

No, we got them made with an inscription of the date we would trade them with each other, since we wanted it to be on our anniversary. We also got married the same date so its a triple anniversary now. :)

What an horrible monster. /s
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SpeedDemon20 posted...

I haven't done it yet, but my strat is to take her to the store under the guise of buying something for my mom, sister, or whoever has an important celebration coming up.

Before that day, I'd go to the store, ask to talk with a manager, tell them I'd be coming in on X day with my girlfriend, tell them to casually ask her if she knows her ring size or if she'd like to get measured for it while I pretend to shop for a necklace or whatever, and have them write it on the receipt.

Probably overcomplicated, but I'm really into the surprising factor.

What if she says no?
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Get the biggest flashest ring you can afford! Do it in a massively public area so ALL eyes are on her. She will LOVE the attention. If you can even show up someone else at the same time/event the better. Do it at a family Christmas maybe right after someone announces a pregnancy, perfect timing to draw it away from that. Or New Years Eve right before the ball drops so she can say YES and ring in the new year at the same time. Make the whole nights party about yourselves!

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Revelation34 posted...

What if she says no?

We settle it the same way we settle everything else: Pokmon battle. Winner takes all.

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I'd love to have it already, but idk how to casually get a ring size.

Take one of her rings (preferably one she doesn't wear often that she won't miss) if she doesn't have much jewelry you could ask her mother or sister.

That said, you may have to get the ring resized anyway. Try not to sweat it too much, it doesn't have to be perfect out of the box. It's fairly common for people to get engagement rings resized after the proposal

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Thanks for all this advice. I'll apply what I can.

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My wife and I got our ring fingers sized together after discussing that we wanted to marry each other. We also looked at ring styles and discussed them, but the actual ring set I bought her was a surprise. It wasn't even one we had looked at and she loves it.

She knew I was going to propose and was looking forward to it but when it would happen was a surprise. I knew she would prefer a private proposal so one day I suggested an impromptu sunset watch. We went, my friend secretly filmed it and I proposed.

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Regardless on what you decide, Congrats

I just stole a ring she would wear on the ring finger of her other hand and brought that with me. Amanda had already talked about what styles she liked and what type of metal too so I took that information with me and had a custom one built at a local jeweler instead of a big box one. Turned out super nice and she loved it.

The engagement itself was a debacle because she kept screwing up my plans that entire night, but I was already bound and determined to get on a knee and ask her no matter what. Worked out and now we've got a baby too.

You can get rings resized, so you'll be fine as long as you get it a little big so she can put it on.
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Im happily married but marriage is weird and dumb usually. Why involve the courts with your relationship lol

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