Current Events > Going from no sex for years to 3x per week is wild

(+) Yeah! (+)

I had zero sexual encounters from like October 2018 to February 2021then started having sex like 3 times per week since then.

I cant believe I went years without fucking. What the hell was wrong with me? That was a dumb choice. Just imagine all the extra banging I missed out on, ugh. What a waste.

no better workout or confidence booster than reliable great sex.

I have no idea how people enjoy sex. It's too easy.

I like to think of myself as a pretty serious gamer. I've played all the "hard" games, such as Dark Souls, Dark Souls 2, Dark Souls 3, etc and I've destroyed them all. They weren't even remotely a challenge for me. I don't know if it's my quick reflexes or my tactical thinking, but if you put a video game in front of me, that game is going to be beat. The only thing that is getting in my way is a dead controller battery (and even then, I always carry backups at all times).

Lately, I've been getting into more physical activities to challenge me, as video games just do not cut it anymore. I've tried both team sports and solo activities, such as running or rock climbing, and as expected, I've dominated in each of them. However, I do find these activities fun as a change of pace from my usual gaming.

So when my new girlfriend (Michelle (pronounced Mish-elle)) asked if I wanted to try sex, I jumped at the opportunity. I've never had sex before (why waste my seed?) but I figured it would be a great chance to see if this is the ultimate test for my skills. I know lots of men brag about their sexual prowess, so I wanted to see if this was an adequate challenge for someone like me, or just another disappointment.

To prepare, we first engaged in what Michelle called "foreplay." This was almost pathetically easy; nothing but a bunch of open mouth kisses and rhythmic breast grabs. I even noticed Michelle had her eyes closed, which I think truly illustrates the simplicity of this phase of the sexual process.

After about ten minutes of that nonsense, we decided to go right into the main event, sexual intercourse. For weeks leading up to this moment, I had practiced throwing hoops of various sizes into the air and thrusting my penis through them, simulating what I expected sex to be like, and preparing for any moment. My precision had become unmatched.

So you can imagine my disappointment when Michelle took off her pants and all there was just one hole, and a stationary hole at that. I entered this hole with absolutely no difficulty, tried a few of the trick thrusts I had practiced at home, and 30 seconds later it was over.

After sex, I told Michelle that I had never been more disappointed in my entire life, and she agreed. How do people find any enjoyment in this? It reminded me of the quick time events in the video games I frequently dominate, only on a biological level.

Are people really such simpletons that this is a pleasurable activity for them, or am I missing something?

lolwtf

SSJGrimReaper posted...

I have no idea how people enjoy sex. It's too easy.

I like to think of myself as a pretty serious gamer. I've played all the "hard" games, such as Dark Souls, Dark Souls 2, Dark Souls 3, etc and I've destroyed them all. They weren't even remotely a challenge for me. I don't know if it's my quick reflexes or my tactical thinking, but if you put a video game in front of me, that game is going to be beat. The only thing that is getting in my way is a dead controller battery (and even then, I always carry backups at all times).

Lately, I've been getting into more physical activities to challenge me, as video games just do not cut it anymore. I've tried both team sports and solo activities, such as running or rock climbing, and as expected, I've dominated in each of them. However, I do find these activities fun as a change of pace from my usual gaming.

So when my new girlfriend (Michelle (pronounced Mish-elle)) asked if I wanted to try sex, I jumped at the opportunity. I've never had sex before (why waste my seed?) but I figured it would be a great chance to see if this is the ultimate test for my skills. I know lots of men brag about their sexual prowess, so I wanted to see if this was an adequate challenge for someone like me, or just another disappointment.

To prepare, we first engaged in what Michelle called "foreplay." This was almost pathetically easy; nothing but a bunch of open mouth kisses and rhythmic breast grabs. I even noticed Michelle had her eyes closed, which I think truly illustrates the simplicity of this phase of the sexual process.

After about ten minutes of that nonsense, we decided to go right into the main event, sexual intercourse. For weeks leading up to this moment, I had practiced throwing hoops of various sizes into the air and thrusting my penis through them, simulating what I expected sex to be like, and preparing for any moment. My precision had become unmatched.

So you can imagine my disappointment when Michelle took off her pants and all there was just one hole, and a stationary hole at that. I entered this hole with absolutely no difficulty, tried a few of the trick thrusts I had practiced at home, and 30 seconds later it was over.

After sex, I told Michelle that I had never been more disappointed in my entire life, and she agreed. How do people find any enjoyment in this? It reminded me of the quick time events in the video games I frequently dominate, only on a biological level.

Are people really such simpletons that this is a pleasurable activity for them, or am I missing something?

3/10 copypasta

Kinda true that sex is ez game tho lmao. The hardest part is getting into one with a reasonable and reasonably hot chick

legendarylemur posted...

Kinda true that sex is ez game tho lmao. The hardest part is getting into one with a reasonable and reasonably hot chick

ya Im pretty picky when it comes to looks I guess. Guess Ive developed game lately tho, the girls Ive been bangin are smokin hot

Was s/he hot?

I don't talk to 3 x different people a week, usually

dj1200 posted...

Was s/he hot?

Id say so. Most recent ex from most of last year is 59, blonde, athletic body with a great ass. Current gf is 57 brunette who is also athletic but more toned and has a great chest >_>

MedeaLysistrata posted...

I don't talk to 3 x different people a week, usually

lucky for you regular sex only has to involve one other person lol

MFBKBass5 posted...

lucky for you regular sex only has to involve one other person lol

Oh, you have a girlfriend topic

Yeah, I didn't have sex for like a year and a half. And then I got divorced.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


oh I def have a need for it. Super high sex drive. If Im dating someone we need to be fucking a few times a week at least lol.

also I think the first time with someone new is thrilling honestly. The build up is hawt.

bsp77 posted...

Yeah, I didn't have sex for like a year and a half. And then I got divorced.

this made me lol

Any tips?
like oysters or masturbating uphill?

MFBKBass5 posted...

this made me lol

Thinking about it. I believe I have had about 5x as much in the 5 years since my divorce than the 16 years of my marriage. I don't know if that is awesome or pathetic. A little of both I guess. But it proves that life does not end in your 40s :)

R1masher posted...

Any tips?
like oysters or masturbating uphill?

tips for what?

bsp77 posted...

Thinking about it. I believe I have had about 5x as much in the 5 years since my divorce than the 16 years of my marriage. I don't know if that is awesome or pathetic. A little of both I guess. But it proves that life does not end in your 40s :)

so are you saying dont get married?

SSJGrimReaper posted...

For weeks leading up to this moment, I had practiced throwing hoops of various sizes into the air and thrusting my penis through them, simulating what I expected sex to be like, and preparing for any moment. My precision had become unmatched.

So you can imagine my disappointment when Michelle took off her pants and all there was just one hole, and a stationary hole at that. I entered this hole with absolutely no difficulty, tried a few of the trick thrusts I had practiced at home, and 30 seconds later it was over.

Was kind of a lame copypasta. Until this. This is gold.

MFBKBass5 posted...

so are you saying dont get married?

No, I am still a hopeless romantic. I say marry the right person.

I have been with my current gf for over a year and I do plan to marry her one day. But I got my crazy casual sex experiences over with first now. Before I made the mistake of marrying my first and I didn't know any better. I basically acted like a simp in my own marriage.

You enjoy your life, and if someone feels right, go for it.

bsp77 posted...

No, I am still a hopeless romantic. I say marry the right person.

I have been with my current gf for over a year and I do plan to marry her one day. But I got my crazy casual sex experiences over with first now. Before I made the mistake of marrying my first and I didn't know any better. I basically acted like a simp in my own marriage.

You enjoy your life, and if someone feels right, go for it.

this definitely sounds like solid advice. Im not opposed to marriage at all

MFBKBass5 posted...

this definitely sounds like solid advice. Im not opposed to marriage at all

It is great for the right people. Just be sure. I had red flags before getting married, but I thought this was what I was "supposed to do".

Now after having attempted to screw half of MN, I now know it is what I "want to do" with my wonderful gf.

Also, if you have any aim at all you should have a ldr side chick

When you stop spending 4600 to be in drum Corp and start hiring escorts thrice a week

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Masturbation simply doesn't work for me at all. It stops some craving i guess, but there is zero satisfaction

The buildup would be hot for me if I hadnt had so many people make awful comments about my body after sex >_>

Who are these horrible, fucking men? OMG, that sucks that you have to deal with that :(

brag topic

bsp77 posted...

Masturbation simply doesn't work for me at all. It stops some craving i guess, but there is zero satisfaction

While I enjoy sex more, I do enjoy a good wank

WorsCaseOntario posted...

brag topic

he does this a lot. seems inexperienced and/or became sexually active late.

WorsCaseOntario posted...

brag topic

Sometimes that feels good. I prefer people bragging and being happy about what they do vs the doom and gloom or "perfect girl but..." topics

CE needs actual positivity