Current Events > That was my first warn! D:

(+) Yeah! (+)

Or in years anyway. Definitely since 2014. >_>

My record, shattered! I was a good person. Mama raised a good boy. But then @Turbam shows up and is like "hey, kid, wanna see something cool?" and I'm all like nervous, saying "my mom says I shouldn't talk to you" and he scoffs and says "you always do what your mom says?", and realizing how much of a dork I sound, I stutter "N-n-no!" and then he goes on "then come on, let me show you something" and I gulp and say "o-okay" and then he opens his coat and says, "see these? they're called waifus. Pokemon waifus. All the cool kids are doing them. Wanna try one?" and my mind flashes to the TV where First Lady (and alleged Throat GOAT) Nancy Reagan said "remember, just say NO!" and I wanna say "NO WAY JOSE! Waifus are for losers!" and walk away with my head up high, like a good citizen. But Turbam looks so cool, and I secretly wanted to be like him, so I say, "what's the harm in trying it once?" So I do it. I partake in the devilry knows as Pokemon waifus. It started with just a hit. Just one pic. But with every post, it was like "just one more. Couldn't hurt." But it didn't stop with one. Soon it became two. Then three. Then suddenly I was introduced to a new world, a world of Pokemon waifus and shitpossting. It became a craving. An obsession. I would look everywhere for some Nessa, some Sonia, some Sabrina. I would post more and more pics, ever so slowly skirting the line of what was acceptable. Some Rosa. Some Hilda. Gals being pals. It couldn't hurt. All the cool kids were doing it! And Nancy Reagan was lame anyway! But it all came to a head. I was jonesing for my next hit, in some back alley, when a flashlight shined in my face. It was the mods. "What are you doing, son?" they said. But they knew. They saw my hand on the "post message" button with a spicy Pokemon waifu pic. Immediately I'm detained, taken to the station. My parents came to pick me up. My dad was furious. My mom was crying. "Where did we go wrong?" But the mods sentence me to two days of Warned status. It was then I realized how far I'd fallen. How much worse it could have been.

I was angry then, but today I look back and thank the mods for setting me straight. Now I do presentations at schools about the dangers of Pokemon waifus, to help kids not make the same mistake I did. As for Turbam, I never did see him again. I wonder if he ever escaped the life, got suspended or worse. Who can say. Waifus take you down a bad road, kids. Don't do waifus.

So how was your weekend, CE?

Is this gonna be a new copypasta? Like a replacement for that neonoctopus one?

Naughty naughty boy.

I will post waifus any damn time I want

Did they crack down on those weird topics. Nicee

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


They should make a D.A.R.E program to keep kids off waifus. It would save lives.

Or be completely ineffectual like the real D.A.R.E. program ayyyy