Current Events > i wanna tell her im in love with her but im scared

(+) Yeah! (+)

weve been really close friends for almost two years and ive had feelings for her for like half of that time, and i want to tell her how i feel but i also still feel comfortable as friends and would rather not risk things becoming weird between us if i tell her

but also we flirt like all the time and have sent nudes and i feel like that might count for something? but other times i feel like its just regular gamer friend stuff, i dunno

also she lives two timezones away so realistically what could even happen between us. in the off chance that she likes me back i dont wanna make her feel like she has to do the ldr thing, so genuinely i feel like it would be easier to just not say anything and stay as friends.........................but god she is really funny and i love talking to her and i definitely think im in love with her. feelings are hard, ce

Just do it before the chance slips away.

Are you ok losing this friendship forever?

I wish gamer friends sent me nudes

but also we flirt like all the time and have sent nudes and i feel like that might count for something?

That seems like it counts

WingsOfGood posted...

Are you ok losing this friendship forever?

absolutely not, shes like one of my best friends and i talk to her all the time and i would genuinely not be able to bear losing her friendship. she is easily one of the most important people in my life

Background_Guy posted...

That seems like it counts

but like by how much? what if its just like a friend thing
i have no frame of reference here

Why don't you arrange to meet up at least once before you tell somebody you love them? Even initiating the planning process of meeting with this person might tell you where you stand.

Buzz Killjoy posted...

Why don't you arrange to meet up at least once before you tell somebody you love them? Even initiating the planning process of meeting with this person might tell you where you stand.

neither of us could afford something like that anytime soon. and again, ive known her for a while and we are pretty close

Are either of you guys outgoing?

I ask that, cause Im curious if you did the long distance thing, would there be temptation to grab something more convenient and in front of you in the future or have you guys both already became content with a more loner lifestyle anyway. Long distance stuff just don't work for socialites

Platonic friends don't send nudes to each other. I don't even know why you'd send nudes to someone you aren't actively dating? But you should talk to her directly about starting to actually date.

Don't tell her you're in love with her, though.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

no, but we do know what each other look like and we call each other all the time

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Are either of you guys outgoing?

I ask that, cause Im curious if you did the long distance thing, would there be temptation to grab something more convenient and in front of you in the future or have you guys both already became content with a more loner lifestyle anyway. Long distance stuff just don't work for socialites

nope, and thank god for that. i think im more of an introvert than she is but we are both not very social people. plus she works evenings so shes only awake and active at night, and sleeps during the day

lolife67 posted...

Platonic friends don't send nudes to each other. I don't even know why you'd send nudes to someone you aren't actively dating? But you should talk to her directly about starting to actually date.

Don't tell her you're in love with her, though.

like i said, we are both really close friends, AND we are really flirty with each other. we casually refer to each other as married and we constantly joke about making out and banging all the time. im just not sure how seriously she takes it. i figure weve known each other long enough where thats just normal friend stuff, right?

Look, I had a friend for almost 10 years. We were really close. We were kinda flirty too. We worked together years ago and our co workers always made comments about how she was interested in me because of the flirtatiousness. Last year I admitted to her that I might have been developing feelings for her and asked her out. She turned me down and we havent talked since.

does it suck, yea, but being around someone whom I have feelings for and watching them with other people would suck more. Its better to try and then move apart, as much as that hurts. Itll hurt more if you stay friends and she gets with someone else.

There's this girl and weve been really close friends for almost two years and ive had feelings for her for like half of that time, and i want to tell her how i feel but i also still feel comfortable as friends and would rather not risk things becoming weird between us if i tell her

but also we flirt like all the time and have sent nudes and i feel like that might count for something? but other times i feel like its just regular gamer friend stuff, i dunno

also she lives two timezones away so realistically what could even happen between us. in the off chance that she likes me back i dont wanna make her feel like she has to do the ldr thing, so genuinely i feel like it would be easier to just not say anything and stay as friends.........................but god she is really funny and i love talking to her and i definitely think im in love with her. feelings are hard, ce

What do you gain from telling you you love her? What if she doesn't feel the same and you lose the friendship?

You guys should save money and then plan to meet. That shows a lot of growth and maturity and is a more logical next step

DeathDeathSong posted...

i figure weve known each other long enough where thats just normal friend stuff, right?

No. Normal friends do not send each other nudes, period. That's either she's also into you or some weird game specific to you two. But it's definitely not the norm.

KalimariX8 posted...

What do you gain from telling you you love her? What if she doesn't feel the same and you lose the friendship?

You guys should save money and then plan to meet. That shows a lot of growth and maturity and is a more logical next step

This 100%. You said you have no money to meet up, so why would you want to start something now? Itd be painful for both of you and sour your relationship. Wait until its actually feasible if you want any chance at her reciprocating

bro its two time zones, it aint happening realistically. You want to tell her your feeling her thats fine. But dont drop a love bomb on someone youve never even met, it weird.

If you guys are really that close then would admitting you have feelings for her really end the relationship? I don't think you need to worry about that. If she doesn't feel the same way you should still be able to move past that and continue to be friends.

The real reason why you shouldn't tell her right now is because you guys aren't able to date each other at the moment. Trying to start a long distance relationship is almost always a bad idea and its an even worse idea in this case since you haven't even met up in person yet.

So yeah, don't tell her how you feel unless you guys are able to see each other face to face

realistically? what. realistically you can visit her. two timezones isn't that expensive. you can literally earn that money working shit jobs for a couple months.

you can tell her, but what for? do you plan to ever meet her? be with her? do you plan to move, or are you going to ask her to move?

i was a very long term relationship with someone i met online who was two timezones away. we told each other things, we were very involved, but we were too young to meet--we couldn't afford it, our lives were in the way. but once we were able to meet, we did, and things went incredibly well for more than a decade.

it's not impossible but what exactly are your intentions? if you're just gonna tell her to mess with her and not ever plan a life with her then what's the use?

YookaLaylee posted...
If you guys are really that close then would admitting you have feelings for her really end the relationship?

Some people are weird, I guess.

I've had several friends either confess to me or know that I liked them, and it didn't injure the relationships at all. It made things a little strange briefly in a couple cases, but that's about it.

Fuck zoning someone is pretty bad tbqh

You really should meet up with them before doing something like that. If you're serious about it, save up and try to make it work. It would be a better gauge to know where you stand with each other before just dropping the love bomb right away.

i guess this would be a bad time to mention that we do actually tell each other 'i love you' all the time.......but i just dont mean it platonically anymore

Are you internalizing any of the responses so far?
It sounds like you have puppy dog love and just want to gush online

KalimariX8 posted...

Are you internalizing any of the responses so far?
It sounds like you have puppy dog love and just want to gush online

what do you mean by internalizing the responses? i ask that genuinely i have no idea what that means
i dont know how relevant this is but we share a pretty big friend group and there was an awkward thing that happened a little while ago where some of them thought we were already dating because of how we act towards each other. i had to jump in and be like "haha we arent actually a thing" cause i didnt want her to be embarrassed by it
as for how she actually feels about me...............i genuinely dont really know, cause im both kind of inherently pessimistic about everything, but also im just kinda bad at reading intentions a lot. like she has told me stuff like 'youre one of the most important people to me, i think about you all the time, you mean so much to me' etc but like...that could all still be platonic, i think? best friends can be like that, right?

DeathDeathSong posted...

i guess this would be a bad time to mention that we do actually tell each other 'i love you' all the time.......but i just dont mean it platonically anymore

What next? "Oh I should mention we did get legally married over zoom, but is that just what friends do?"

TendoDRM posted...

What next? "Oh I should mention we did get legally married over zoom, but is that just what friends do?"

"Oh, I should mention that every time we talk she mentions wanting to fuck me and fantasizes about us growing old and living together. Probably just being friendly though"