Current Events > Scenario - You have a roommate that

(+) Yeah! (+)

Stop making all them noises you're scaring the hoes.

You have a roommate that loudly barks, ribbits, and claps every other minute. Theyre also always extremely drunk.

You have a roommate that loudly barks, ribbits, and claps every other minute. Theyre also always extremely drunk.

What would you tell them?

Whatever. That dude's roommate is even worse.

Tell them to give me some alcohol so I can be extremely drunk too.

Lol what are you doing thats worse than a human Clapping Dog-Frog Alarm that loops every 60 seconds?

Same thing, but even more drunk while doing it.

I don"t want to have a roommate :(

Do I still have the same landlord?

Well that's fucking dumb. In that case, I paint dicks all over the walls, blame the roommate and move.

No he didn't. I painted when he was out of the apt. Also I moved alrwady

You have a roommate that loudly barks, ribbits, and claps every other minute.

Call a fucking exorcist.

If I wanted him gone, he would be gone. That's my special effect. It happened with a couple of problematic coworkers and it would happen with this dude.

It's not difficult to find reasons to get someone fired/evicted. One of said coworkers was a raging racist, terrible at the job and once angrily grabbed a knife and held it threateningly when I was less than 10 feet away (didn't point it at me. He was just staring off into space). Still, the managers were looking for an excuse to fire him. They got it that day.

Haven't watched it. I've heard it is good though.

Also, yeah lol. The dude literally used the n word in front of me once (hard R). He then interrupted himself and said the sentence again but with "black people" instead of the n word. He also had a grudge against me for a while before that happened and changed his mind about me. He randomly out of nowhere said "I didn't like you at first, but now I see that you're okay. I've changed my mind about you." I was like "oh okay awesome" but in my head, that was a big red flag. I asked around and it turned out that he mistakenly thought I was gay and had a problem with me because of that alone. When he realized he was mistaken, I was "okay" according to him. So he was fucking homophobic too.

The other coworker was much less problematic. He was just kind of causing a power struggle and he threw my name around in a negative light so I triggered him into having a meltdown which led him to posture and threaten to quit. The owner of the business was like "okay cool so quit." The guy did. He expected the owner to beg him to come back. That did not happen. He did end up getting his job back later but I had already left at that point.

You have a roommate

Theyre also always extremely drunk.

He tried to call me out on something and I was like "actually no, that's bullshit, but..." and called him out for something else. He flipped out over it.

This would already be a very unfortunate situation that I'd be trying to fix ASAP.

*ASAP intensifies*

Suddenly come down with a condition that makes me punch my roommate in the face every time he makes a strange noise. This condition gets worse over time.