Current Events > ITT: We tell CE about our craziest family member.

(+) Yeah! (+)

When my cousin Roy was 16 he'd shit on the doors of any outdoor public restrooms like at parks. He would press his cheeks against the door and push it out. He'd bareband wipe and smear anything stuck to his ass on the door.

In 2017 he was arrested in Chicago for playing with himself on the subway and trying to "finish" on female passengers.

Nobody? Share your family black sheep.

Roy also threw my friend (14 at the time in IIRC) in a closet, pulled out his boner an offered my friend "anything" if he would touch it.

OVERGOATED posted...

My crazy uncle is a stealth camper that sometimes smells like piss.

That makes Roy look horrible. Did you offer your uncle a place to shower?

My older sister is definitely our family's black sheep - although nobody uses that term for her.

As far as "Freakshows" my grandpa thinks the election was stolen and Trump won. So there ya go.

TheBrainstorm posted...

As far as "Freakshows" my grandpa thinks the election was stolen and Trump won. So there ya go.

There's people on CE who also think that.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Wish I could say I didn't

Probably my aunt. She's only 2 years older than me so like a cousin. She told me on FB messenger a few years ago she was bisexual and had a relationship with a black woman even though her mom was racist. Then she got on FB and said how she doesn't wanna know if someone's gay and keep their business to themselves. lol

She's also on disability for mental issues and for being fat I think

I dunno how you be a grandpa - meaning older than, what, 60 (He's in his 90's) and see like 25 Presidential elections and say 'Oh, this one was rigged'

But yeah, he's uh...yeah. Apparently he's been alive 90+ years and this is the first one that was rigged. Crazy how that works.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


He is an old person - of course he has cable TV. All old people/retired people do is watch Fox News.

A couple of uncles with Schizophrenia, I unfortunately inherited some traits

One was totally convinced someone had installed a pacemaker in him while he was sleeping (probably had a fast heart rate from all the weed he was constantly smoking and his brain made a huge leap in logic)

Schizophrenia is basically giant leaps in logic based on tiny connections, with all sense of logic and rational thoughts cast aside

Anyway, thankfully no-one has committed violence or any sexual deviancy

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


That'll do it.

@haloiscoolisbak

Hope the inherited traits are mild. Schizophrenia is awful and unfortunately very stigmatized.

My uncle was a really, really clever guy, but became an alcoholic and probable drug addict.

He lived interstate with my grandmother, told us she was happy, healthy etc and that she was living in a nursing home that was paid for by her pension, and the huge amounts of savings she had. Hed even make up stupid stories about hijinks she was getting up to with other residents. Hed apparently started up his own business and was doing really well.

In reality, he let my grandmother die in a chair covered in her own waste, because he couldnt be bothered looking after her properly, just so he could steal her pension. Her bank account was drained and someone tried to draw on her pension after she died. He was unemployed, after being fired for turning up to work drunk.

When she died, my mum and I went up there to help with the funeral and the house was unliveable. Huge mounds of trash and human feces smeared over everything in every room.

He ended up being charged with manslaughter, but ended up getting a suspended sentence. My mum ended up using the sale of my grandmothers house (only worth the value of the land, the house was ruined) to pay for his legal fees, as well as to pay back the pension payments that were illegally drawn.

I looked him up a few years back, and he died in 2010. No great loss.

ComfortablySad posted...

@haloiscoolisbak

Hope the inherited traits are mild. Schizophrenia is awful and unfortunately very stigmatized.

They are super mild these days. I've had 2 periods in my life where I was psychotic though - weed is unfortunately a big trigger for me.

I've quit all drugs forever, take anti psychotics if I'm ever feeling a bit paranoid (happens under times of immense stress) and I can more or less lead a normal life now

@The_Creep_2020

That's fucked up to do something like that to your own mother. Sometimes I take free psychology courses and read psych articles, books, etc. to try and make sense of the awful things people do but there are no concrete answers yet. Sometimes people just suck.

On my dads side:

My grandfather used to threaten his family with a gun.

My grandmother used to make my dad sick with some kind of 1950s worming treatment. Hed be hospitalised with a mysterious illness, recover and be discharged and start getting sick again.

My grandmother also showed little to no affection to her kids, and would deliberately start dramas between them when they were older.

She was also viciously, viciously racist. I remember going up there to visit with my dad, and within five minutes of arriving she told me a joke. Youve probably heard it before.

How do you stop a ****** from drowning?
Yeah. To his credit, my dad went ballistic. Only time I ever saw him stand up to his mum.

When my dad was diagnosed with cancer, her response was well, lifes a bitch. Keeping in mind, my aunt had a cancer scare a few years before and it was the end of the world.

When he died, my grandmother told my mum well, he was a good son. He bought us a house once. She also demanded back a whole lot of photos of my dad when he was younger and other family photos because they had nothing to do with [us].

That said, she *did* always dislike my mum because shes Jewish. For years shed try to tell my dad I wasnt his son. Thats a fuckin laugh, the family resemblance is uncanny.

My dad also had some serious mental health problems. Some times he was downright abusive to my mum, and Id dread him coming home. He *tried* to be a good person, though. At his post-funeral drinks, my mum put it best he was a bastard, but he was our bastard.

There are plenty of other stories, but to be honest its a bit depressing to think about.

@The_Creep_2020

No point in depressing yourself unless it's therapeutic. *fist bump* for sharing.

That's me

Ok, less depressing story that was mortifying at the time, but now is hilarious.

So my dad was a problem gambler. Hed get into a manic phase and go off to the casino for days at a time.

He came back after an all nighter absolutely stinking of scotch. It woulda been about 9 in the morning. Apparently, hed gotten into a fist fight in the early hours of the morning, got ejected and ended up chilling, chatting to the homeless people in the street. He gave them all his winnings (that, I actually believe. He was generous to a fault, particularly if hed won big at the casino and was riding a manic phase).

He came back with a *cause* though. He was going to use his industry contacts to organise and fund a charity for homeless people. He was going to start by going down to the local church and getting the preacher involved.

So he had a shower and shave, dressed in his best suit and decided Id come along with him.

So we rock up at the church and knock on the door of the rectory. A crazy-eyed guy in a suit who still absolutely reeked of booze and had obviously not had any sleep, with this weird little goth kid in tow.

Thos old guy in tracksuit pants and a t-shirt opens the door and my dad launched into his spiel. Oh, the reverend (or whatever he was) isnt in. Youll have to talk to one of the elders.

So he goes and gets one of the elders, this old starchy matron of a woman. When she saw (and smelled) my dad, she got an expression like wed taken a dump on her doorstep. My dad launched into his spiel.

Oh, you should talk to the reverend.

And she goes and gets the old guy.

That obsession lasted a few weeks, but was replaced by his idea to start up a taco truck business.

My uncle. He has 5 kids. 3 of them are lower functioning autistic. He fell into believing a lot of the conspiracy theories regarding it. As a result he doesn't trust in modern medicine and fell into believing a bunch of other conspiracy theories like fake moon landing, fake 9/11 stuff, and is into home remedy medicines. He currently buys some plants he believes can cleanse him and his children. Makes a tea out of them.

His wife believes in the same things he does too.

If you say your family doesn't have a black sheep, it's probably you.