Current Events > Infinite scrambled eggs, but the Frasier theme plays/Niles belittles you

(+) Yeah! (+)

The music loops for the duration of your meal, and is audible to those around you, as though playing from a TV on middle volume a few feet away.

With every mouthful, Niles makes an acerbic remark about some aspect of your life or table manners.

You cannot directly profit from selling the eggs, but if you can somehow wrangle them into earning favours from people then that is allowed.

Do the eggs come with tossed salad? I mean, that's kind of a deal breaker if not.

Edit: Dang my slow typing

Tossed salad is not part of the deal.

So do the eggs just fall out of a portal like those hands from llamas with hats

https://youtu.be/PUJfjcE2lPs

Niles is ruthless, though

Not worth it. Niles would destroy me.

Sherry: "Laughter is the best medicine"
Niles: "We must be in the placebo group"

Irony posted...

So do the eggs just fall out of a portal like those hands from llamas with hats

Whenever you desire more eggs, a VERY handsome waiter (who you swear has popped up as a doctor in ER or something before) brings you more from just off screen.

Sounds like heaven!

Xavier_On_High posted...

Whenever you desire more eggs, a VERY handsome waiter (who you swear has popped up as a doctor in ER or something before) brings you more from just off screen.

You could make money by repeatedly selling that waiter to human traffickers.

I've changed my mind, you can have tossed salad as an option, but if you choose it, this plays instead

https://youtu.be/lSK1UeD9nvE

pegusus123456 posted...

You could make money by repeatedly selling that waiter to human traffickers.

Can't be much worse for him than being a career extra.

Xavier_On_High posted...

Can't be much worse for him than being a career extra.

But is the same waiter being sold into sex trafficking multiple times, or is it a series of clones being sold once apiece?

Like, if you can immediately summon the waiter with his eggs, are you teleporting him from wherever he currently is to give you eggs, or are you magicking a "new" copy of the waiter into existence each time from the same ethereal void that the eggs come from?

If it's the former, he's locked into a constant cycle of being sold before being ripped out of his predicament, delivering eggs, then being sold again, always hoping that you get hungry before he gets in too deep. He remembers his time up until he first met you, he had a whole life of being a supporting artist, of having friends and dreams. Then the Eggs happened. And now he's trapped. There's never an end to this cycle, for as long as you live it's eggs, trafficking, repeat. It's unimaginable cosmic horror.

But if it's the latter then each waiter clone appears, knowing not how they came to be, knowing only that they must egg, before immediately being packed off into sexual slavery where they will remain for the rest of their days, with the added existential dread of the possibility that, depending on how big your circle of contacts in the trafficking world is, they may see several versions of themselves in the same human auction, and not understand why. Every plate of eggs you have is a new life you create only to mentally torture and psychologically break as you callously discard them into a hopeless life of unpaid prostitution.

What if he comes from a parallel dimension, of which there are infinite

DarkRoast posted...

What if he comes from a parallel dimension, of which there are infinite

He comes from off screen, so his origin is ultimately unknowable. But you've definitely seen him on ER or Will and Grace or something before.

Xavier_On_High posted...

He comes from off screen, so his origin is ultimately unknowable. But you've definitely seen him on ER or Will and Grace or something before.

Considered the possibility that he comes from a place where they derive all of their self-worth by serving others. Refusing to abuse them would basically be abusing them.

DarkRoast posted...

Considered the possibility that he comes from a place where they derive all of their self-worth by serving others. Refusing to abuse them would basically be abusing them.

Like the animal from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy who was genetically engineered to communicate a sincere desire to be eaten.

Now that I think about it, the infinite dudes is a better part of the deal than the scrambled eggs.