Current Events > I'm gonna talk shit about Star Wars OT like you guys do with the PT and ST

(+) Yeah! (+)

Gonna love watching yall cope defend the OT

I find your lack of intelligence disturbing.

Ewoks are dumb as fuck

Veggeta_MAX posted...

Ewoks are dumb as fuck

Of course you bring up the ONE complaint I can't defend.

Vegeta's next bold ass take = jedi rocks is bad

Han shot first

Veggeta_MAX posted...

Ewoks are dumb as fuck

Nah.

"We can't let the plans (which are famously inorganic) leave this ship."
"Oh hey, should we shoot that pod?"
"Nah. No life forms aboard."

Just a complete ripoff of Dune.

I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan.

Wow it's been ten hours and you sure went off, didn't you.

CyricZ posted...

Wow it's been ten hours and you sure went off, didn't you.

Gotta enjoy the steams coming from you guys slowly.

Veggeta_MAX posted...

Han shot first

no, Han shot.
there was no second shot, only Han's.

So was Han running from the Empire for days or just a few hours in Empire Strikes Back?

Tfw Vader interrogates his daughter for hours and doesn't even suspect she's force sensitive.

Vader is Tarkin's bitch.

TC hasn't said anything controversial yet

So the reason everyone thinks Boba Fett is such an utter badass is because he talked back to Vader in one line?

eston posted...

TC hasn't said anything controversial yet

I'm just spewing the same lame things you guys do with ST and PT like "they fly now".

TC is desperate at trying to trigger people.

No, he just has a cool helmet

Breaking news: Sci-Fi Movie from the 1970s is kinda cheesy.

PoopPotato posted...

No, he just has a cool helmet

Sucks what they did to him.

Man, this topic triggers me harder than the constant knowledge that the Star Wars franchise would've been DOA if Marcia Lucas hadn't edited the shit out of ANH. Holy hell, I look at the wooden dialogue / acting we did end up with in ANH and shudder to think of how things would've turned out if George had free reign. Actually, I don't have to imagine, since we had an entire trilogy of exactly that.

I'll never recover.

Oh, so you're telling me Luke undergoes a radical change in character in personality between the movies? How convenient. Couldn't be that the writers don't understand his character, like what I do.

Luke would never choke a random pig monster while casually strolling through he enemy fortress. he is friend to all

Why was Lando even there? You k now what I think? Well, I'm not allowed to say what I think, here, but you know what I mean.

Boba Fett dies unceremoniously

lol look at this kick. It's clearly not connecting. Worst choreography the series has ever seen.

So Yoda just dies for no reason? Lame. Yoda is a great warrior, he can't go out like that!

So they spent all this time at a monster mash to rescue Han Solo, and he doesn't actually do anything besides lead the troops? smh my head

Jesus Christ there's like nothing fucking going on in this whole stretch of movie. Just a bunch of people in the war room going "I'm in!" and "I'm coming too!" and "This is how we're going to disable the shields on the forest moon of Eggnog"

Now they're in the forest. Ugh, they were in a forest in the last movie. This is just a soft reboot of The Empire Strikes Back! euuuuyygh I bet it ends with someone getting their hand cut off.

ewoks

So, wait, she's his sister? They're clearly making this shit up as they go along.

LUKE WOULD NEVER

he would never

cut off the hand of Vader. Uyyygh this is the worst movie ever! They didn't even bother to foreshadow it with a similar event transpiring in the last movie.

Who the fuck is this fish motherfucker going "It's a trap!". Uh, yeah, we can all see that. Thanks for the subtle storytelling, Ensign Exposition. I hope you get paid in fish flakes lmao

I can't believe they took off Darth Vader's mask and he's just a cracked egg with a face painted on it. We don't even get to see him fight! Anakin Skywalker, more like, Humpty Dumpty, haw haw haw.

Why is Luke so god damn good at everything?

Man that force lightning ass-pull sure fucked up the established power canon, huh?

He beat Vader, a trained Jedi, with like five hours of swamp exercise.

IShall_Run_Amok posted...

He beat Vader, a trained Jedi, with like five hours of swamp exercise.

LOL

IShall_Run_Amok posted...

He beat Vader, a trained Jedi, with like five hours of swamp exercise.

It is pretty funny when people overestimate the amount of master-pupil training that Luke got. A day-trip to Alderaan with Obi-Wan, and whatever amount of time it was between leaving Hoth and realizing that Han and co. were in Bespin (a week, if we're being generous?).

General agreement is that time elapsed on the trip to Bespin itself and Luke's training was "a few weeks".

CyricZ posted...

General agreement is that time elapsed on the trip to Bespin itself and Luke's training was "a few weeks".

Yep. Key thing to remember is that the Millennium Falcon's hyperdrive system was broken, and so they could only travel at sub-light speed.

StarDestroyer posted...

Yep. Key thing to remember is that the Millennium Falcon's hyperdrive system was broken, and so they could only travel at sub-light speed.

So Han was dodging the Empire for a few weeks as well and they didn't need to stop for fuel and they had enough food and toilet papers all while making repairs.

Veggeta_MAX posted...

So Han was dodging the Empire for a few weeks as well and they didn't need to stop for fuel and they had enough food and toilet papers all while making repairs.

Chewie never forgets to buy extra toilet paper.

Veggeta_MAX posted...

I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan.

Kinda funny how Rogue One completely shit all over this line.

Vader's like "Bitch please, I literally almost lightsabered down the door to this ship at the Battle of Scariff before you guys lightspeed'd away."

mybbqrules posted...

Kinda funny how Rogue One completely shit all over this line.

Vader's like "Bitch please, I literally almost lightsabered down the door to this ship at the Battle of Scariff before you guys lightspeed'd away."

Was it not obvious that she was tryna blatantly bullshit right front the get go?

masterpug53 posted...

and whatever amount of time it was between leaving Hoth and realizing that Han and co. were in Bespin (a week, if we're being generous?).

also Han and the gang had to get there without FTL travel.

StarDestroyer posted...

Yep. Key thing to remember is that the Millennium Falcon's hyperdrive system was broken, and so they could only travel at sub-light speed.

That's a conveniently nebulous amount of time, considering how loose the SW universe plays with interstellar travel time. Still, a couple extra weeks with Yoda wouldn't exactly have bumped Luke from undergrad to master's in terms of training time.

But in all fairness, this is the 'Legend of Korra' syndrome where I wouldn't even be picking apart these things in the OT if certain fans hadn't criticized the less-popular sequel for something they let slide in the original.

masterpug53 posted...

That's a conveniently nebulous amount of time, considering how loose the SW universe plays with interstellar travel time. Still, a couple extra weeks with Yoda wouldn't exactly have bumped Luke from undergrad to master's in terms of training time.

But in all fairness, this is the 'Legend of Korra' syndrome where I wouldn't even be picking apart these things in the OT if certain fans hadn't criticized the less-popular sequel for something they let slide in the original.

It's hilarious what people choose to nitpick.

...are we forgetting that Luke got his ass beat in ESB?

Questionmarktarius posted...

...are we forgetting that Luke got his ass beat in ESB?

Yes just like we're choosing to forget Rey also got her ass beat a few times too.

Also, Kylo was merely testing her as he felt she was more useful to him alive.

Veggeta_MAX posted...

Also, Kylo was merely testing her as he felt she was more useful to him alive.

Getting shot in the gut didn't help much.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


If that's the bar for learning one's punching-bag status in the SW universe, then General Hux must be hiding a cartoonish Kung Pow-esque hole in his stomach under his uniform.

Questionmarktarius posted...

...are we forgetting that Luke got his ass beat in ESB?

The joke is that I'm misremembering the movie to suit my own narrative.

(Although we don't actually see him train between the movies leading up to when he actually does beat Vader, so it still works because we only see him doing the swamp training)