Current Events > Man tries to Donkey Kong an ostrich >_>

(+) Yeah! (+)

Go directly to the link cuz autoplay is fucked up >_>
https://imgur.com/fDMNh0N

it goes poorly for him lol

I kinda hope it got a nasty peak in on him.

Dude needs to come out hurt enough to learn his lesson. Obviously don't want him dead or crippled for life. But If he doesn't get hurt he may try something like this again.

https://youtu.be/38SLdvLOUqw?t=283

Here's some actual Donkey Kong shenanigans

https://webmshare.com/play/AeENw

Fuck that guy.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/q0wmck/drunk_guy_jumps_into_the_ostrich_enclosure_and/

spikethedevil posted...

https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/q0wmck/drunk_guy_jumps_into_the_ostrich_enclosure_and/

Yeah, Ostriches will fuck you up. I think their kicks can actually kill you if they hit you in a bad spot >_>

You don't fuck with ostriches, they can fuck you up.

ostriches are dinosaurs that can disembowel you with a kick

An ostrich nearly killed Johnny Cash.

The ostrich didnt care. When I came back I was carrying a good stout six-foot stick, and I was prepared to use it. And sure enough, there he was on the trail in front of me, doing his thing. When he started moving toward me I went on the offensive, taking a good hard swipe at him.

I missed. He wasnt there. He was in the air, and a split second later he was on his way down again, with that big toe of his, larger than my size-thirteen shoe, extended toward my stomach. He made contactIm sure there was never any question he wouldntand frankly, I got off lightly. All he did was break my two lower ribs and rip my stomach open down to my belt, If the belt hadnt been good and strong, with a solid belt buckle, hed have spilled my guts exactly the way he meant to. As it was, he knocked me over onto my back and I broke three more ribs on a rockbut I had sense enough to keep swinging the stick, so he didnt get to finish me. I scored a good hit on one of his legs, and he ran off.

NeonOctopus posted...

Yeah, Ostriches will fuck you up. I think their kicks can actually kill you if they hit you in a bad spot >_>

There are lots of bad spots it can hit to kill you.

It's more like you'll survive if they hit a good spot.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/8/5/AAUsi-AADVQN.jpg

These animals are always stronger than they look because we humans evolved our muscles for dexterity whilst they kept their power.

Like monkeys are dangerous because they look small but they can drag a child away or grab your hair and take your scalp with it.

I saw a clip of a gorilla casually smacking a coconut and busting it open. I was like WTF

An angered adult ostrich can fuck people up.

This guy is the stupid kid who sticks an arm into a tiger cage...

Ivynn posted...

There are lots of bad spots it can hit to kill you.

It's more like you'll survive if they hit a good spot.

Yeah. Ostriches are actually good at both stabbing/cutting and blunt attacks.

They have devasting kicks. If one hits your head, stomach or chest you are fucking done. If there isn't somewhere safe(Like sufficiently deep water or a building or somewhere that removes you completely from its sight. VERY close either drop into the fetal positon and hope it loses interest thinking you are dead/sufficiently chastened or enter a stance protecting your upper torso and try to land a blow somewhere irritating enough to scare it off.

You can't outrun an ostrich very long. It's top speed is about twice as fast as the fastest humans. It WILL catch you if you your escape route/hiding spot not very close it is a 100% fact that it will catch up FAST.

They probably won't pursue zealously or far though so a good hiding spot is the best option unless you are in wide open field or trapped in an enclosed area.

*I am not a wildlife expert or an ostrich attack survivor. This is a mix of common sense and basic online research. Don't fucking antagonize the pencil necked murder birds.

RIP Man tries died riding an ostrich shot down 97 barrels

Unsuprised_Pika posted...

Yeah. Ostriches are actually good at both stabbing/cutting and blunt attacks.

They have devasting kicks. If one hits your head, stomach or chest you are fucking done. If there isn't somewhere safe(Like sufficiently deep water or a building) VERY close either drop into the fetal positon and hope it loses interest thinking you are dead/sufficiently chastened or enter a stance protecting your upper torso and try to land a blow somewhere irritating enough to scare it off.

You can't outrun an ostrich very long. It's top speed is about twice as fast as the fastest humans.

45mph is way more than twice as fast.

spikethedevil posted...

45mph is way more than twice as fast.

I was comparing to the fastest people who are in the mid-upper 20mph. Usain Bolt is what ~27MPH?

The average person however? The ostrich would be 3-4 times faster.

He was thinking Expresso from Donkey Kong.
It was thinking Ostro from Super Mario Bros. 2.

FortuneCookie posted...

He was thinking Expresso from Donkey Kong.
It was thinking Ostro from Super Mario Bros. 2.

lol that's clever

>_>

damn if you think about it and ostrich is just a really really giant chicken

this is crazy

spikethedevil posted...

45mph is way more than twice as fast.

Nah humans can run over 25mph just not for very long.