Current Events > I have a date tomorrow night with a woman in a wheelchair

(+) Yeah! (+)

Now, that's not like, a deterrent to me, but it does kinda raise some questions about etiquette. It hasn't come up in our brief chat so far, is there an appropriate way to raise the subject? Do I...push her? It looks like a motorized chair from her photos.

I wouldn't be able to stand that.

WrestlinFan posted...

I wouldn't be able to stand that.

2/10

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/0a34ac1c-87b8-4ab7-9a46-b2f6739b828a

Don't dump her on the first date. Be a gentleman.
PS I would try and out muscle the motor in her chair to show her your strength. Girls love that. She wants to go left, you take charge, grab the handlebars and brute force the chair left.

neccis posted...

Don't dump her on the first date. Be a gentleman.

I mean, I wasn't planning on that

WrestlinFan posted...

I wouldn't be able to stand that.

4/10

Antifar posted...

Do I...push her?

Lol, no man

Probably just verify that the place you're going to has accessibility

https://youtu.be/wgfYV5H0CqA

Don't try and push her, especially yanking her motorized wheelchair because it's going too slow... a lot of people really dislike that.

Salt N Peppa's here

I am certain she wouldn't require you to push her. It's almost certainly motorised and she would probably be a little offended/feel helpless if you offer to help with too much or bring it up too much

I work with a wheelchair client 3 days a week, different context than dating but yeah they like to do as much as possible themselves, and you'd be surprised how little help they need in wheelchair accessible areas

RedLuigi posted...

https://youtu.be/wgfYV5H0CqA

Lmao first thing I thought of

Just ask if she needs assistance and if she says no then don't press the issue.

Has she told you the reason why she's in a wheelchair?

I think the best thing would be to let her take the lead on whether she needs any help or not. If she does, I'm sure she would say so.

Babidi123 posted...

Lmao first thing I thought of

Same, TC is Larry David

Just remember, if you go in for a kiss, try not to sit in her lap

One thing you could do is move a seat at a table if she needs space to get her chair there. But the wheelchair might have the ability to go up and down so don't stress too much about the height of the table

MorbidFaithless posted...

I think the best thing would be to let her take the lead on whether she needs any help or not. If she does, I'm sure she would say so.

So, you're saying let her take the first step?

if its motorized i wouldn't even attempt to "help" unless I was explicitly asked. With a human powered wheelchair, would be a good thing to bring up on the first date.

But every person in a wheel chair I have known only wants someone trying to push them if they explicitly ask. And asking is very rare in my experience.

@TeaMilk I think you could offer advice on this thread.

Para? Quadra? I could see myself dating a paraplegic, but I think a quadra would be too much for me to handle.

Also, this question may be rude, but does she still have feeling in her nether regions? Sex is a big part of any relationship for me, so if the woman couldn't feel anything, and they were only doing it for me, I'd feel right weird about it.

Eat_More_Beef posted...

Para? Quadra? I could see myself dating a paraplegic, but I think a quadra would be too much for me to handle.

Also, this question may be rude, but does she still have feeling in her nether regions? Sex is a big part of any relationship for me, so if the woman couldn't feel anything, and they were only doing it for me, I'd feel right weird about it.

I seriously doubt TC has been stupid enough to ask that before meeting her. But it'd be most likely reduced feeling at the very least

I would guess she's more looking for a relationship than a quick fuck

I wouldn't bring it up. Just double check that wherever you are going is accessible. Don't push her. Just treat her like anyone else. If she brings it up, then ask polite questions about it if you are comfortable doing so.

All jokes aside, just be cool about it. If she's the right one none of your worries will even matter after the first hour or so.

haloiscoolisbak posted...

I seriously doubt TC has been stupid enough to ask that before meeting her. But it'd be most likely reduced feeling at the very least

I would guess she's more looking for a relationship than a quick fuck

I mean, I dunno how long they've been talking for, if they were friends beforehand, etc.

But yeah, I too highly doubt she's jist looking to get laid, but if you're looking to start a relationship, these are questions that need to be answered before too long.

Eat_More_Beef posted...

I mean, I dunno how long they've been talking for, if they were friends beforehand, etc.

But yeah, I too highly doubt she's jist looking to get laid, but if you're looking to start a relationship, these are questions that need to be answered before too long.

She is probably very cool with the fact sex would mainly be about his pleasure. Like to the point where TC shouldn't have to feel weird about it. Like otherwise what are her alternatives. I think most people with conditions that require wheelchair use would mean reduced sensitivity down there so it's just about accepting it

Openly admit upfront that you don't really know what to do.

Eat_More_Beef posted...

Para? Quadra? I could see myself dating a paraplegic, but I think a quadra would be too much for me to handle.

It hasn't come up; we've exchanged like 5 messages total lol. From her photos, I'd say she has use of her arms.

TC sounds like a stand up guy

Antifar posted...

It hasn't come up

She's definitely para dude. Quads require full time care. They wouldn't be going on dates

--Zero- posted...

TC sounds like a stand up guy

0/10

I was worried this would be a really fucked up creeper with a fetish, thankfully that is not the case here.

Just treat her like a normal person and be upfront about not knowing much. As long as you are polite and respectful it should go fine.

Is she in it because shes fat?

--Zero- posted...

TC sounds like a stand up guy

Sorry, 2nd post was better

Questionmarktarius posted...

Openly admit upfront that you don't really know what to do.

I'd assume she's fairly independent if she's going on dates.

Smackems posted...

0/10

Some people can't stand these jokes. Sometimes you just have to roll with it.

If she has it in her photos its not like shes hiding it

i once met up with a chick who had cerebral palsy and had arm crutches but did not mention it at all. Which was fine but also it was a very icy night and we went to multiple places with stairs so I had to help carry her up. Was very awkward with someone I had just met, who did not let me know upfront that stairs could be a problem

Is she pretty?

_Krave_ posted...

Is she pretty?

Very much so

I got ghosted by a girl in a wheelchair like 10 years ago....not my best moment. She wanted a FWB but I just wanted the Benefits, less frienship and she could tell after our first meeting...yea its sad.

Good luck. In my time with working with people with disabilities, don't do things that could make them feel helpless. When the moment is right, ask what she is and isn't comfortable with (holding doors open, pushing, etc). If you've made plans already, make sure they are wheelchair accessible. Google or even call the place -- make sure there's space between tables, open hallways, ramp access. Is she getting dropped off/does she drive herself?

Best of luck!

Make her do a wheelie.

It's like anything else, just own it. Be open that you're not really sure what to do. I am certain that she's not expecting you to be a wheelchair expert or anything. If she takes it the wrong way, whatever. She might find it cute/endearing. She is an adult and is self-aware about her situation.

Maybe don't open with the wheelchair and don't keep talking about it the whole night, just bring it up either when you feel like it or when the situation calls for it. As in, when you sit down, don't be like "hey when we move and go somewhere else, what do I do", rather, wait until you guys actually are moving somewhere else and then be like "Do you want me to push you or nah". That's just my 2 c, anything could happen.

Carry her on your back like that dude did for that guy in the wheelchair in Alien Resurrection

Take her somewhere without stairs

No take her somewhere with stairs preferably the MC Escher dimension

Remember to help her out of the swing after.