Current Events > It drives me crazy when people get offended when I say I don't want kids

(+) Yeah! (+)

Im in my 30s and people ask this a decent amount of times. Roughly half the time, they seem to be practically offended when I say I dont want kids. It gets even worse if I give my reasons.

The two reasons are that kids are expensive and I like my freedom to do what I want. The faces I get for saying these things is just nasty at times. Like Im scum of the earth. I dont know why the idea that kids are expensive, which is factual, rubs some people the wrong way. The real one that gets people though is the freedom aspect.

It just makes people mad. I already know I will be severely limited when I have kids. I have a niece I spend a good amount of time with. Every time she is around, she follows me like a shadow and always wants to play. I do play with her of course. I dont want her to be sad or have people ignore her when they are tired. So I try to play with her so she wont feel neglected.

I cant imagine doing that everyday most of the day. It has to be exhausting and annoying to always sacrifice everything for your kid. Let me be clear, if I had a child, I would do that exact thing. It may be annoying but you are doing it for your childs happiness. That is far more important than your personal feelings on the matter. However, knowing the sacrifices to have a kid just from being an uncle, there is no way I want one. That experience had pretty much sealed the deal for me on that regard.

There is nothing wrong with wanting kids but there is no reason to get mad at other people for not wanting what you want

Those breeders

Fuck having kids lol

How often do you guys get hounded by this? Im wondering if this is a bigger issue because I live in the south.

I'm a high school teacher. I could never do that job and be a parent. I'm already enough of these teenagers' parent as is.

known2FAIL posted...

How often do you guys get hounded by this? Im wondering if this is a bigger issue because I live in the south.

I'm Canadian and don't want kids and the same shit happens when I say that. Some people literally can't believe it.

Or else you get the "then who will be there when you're old?" nonsense. Spoiler alert: two of my grandparents ended up in care homes and I work in one and having kids does not mean anyone will be there for you in your old age.

just go over the top and get exponentially more offended at them being offended than they are of you not wanting kids. They likely won't expect that.

known2FAIL posted...

How often do you guys get hounded by this? Im wondering if this is a bigger issue because I live in the south.

Somewhat often but I'm not in my 30s yet. Yeah in the bible thumping south everyone is brainwashed I guess that it's their sole duty in life to procreate even though the majority really shouldn't cause they're not the brightest bunch.

They want you to go through the same miserable experience they did. Pay them no mind.

I didn't have a kid until I was 32 but I can't say I ever felt pressured to have them by others.

known2FAIL posted...

How often do you guys get hounded by this? Im wondering if this is a bigger issue because I live in the south.

I live in the rural south and never get hounded about it

Though I actually may be having one now so

The only one who cares whether or not I have kids is my mom.

I dont want kids either but I wouldnt say people seem offended when I tell them, more like theyre surprised because most people want kids.

I'm 32 and no one really ask me why, mainly because I'm a loner and don't talk to many people

known2FAIL posted...

How often do you guys get hounded by this? Im wondering if this is a bigger issue because I live in the south.

I get it a lot. Actually got snappy with a dude at work cause he wouldn't drop it.

only the elite should have kids. and then of those kids, only the elite among them should have the next generation of kids.

makes total sense

it's okay to not want kids but i think a lot of people that dont have them have a lot of wrong ideas of what it's like to be a parent. yeah kids cost money and they need more attention than a pet, but p much the only time you have to devote constant attention is when they're infants. and when youve got a kid, things you might feel right now about other people's kids, dont feel that way about your own

things that piss you off about other peoples kids can be endearing with your own
things that feel like an obligation with your nieces and nephews dont feel that way with your own

like i said, not saying you gotta have kids and it's ok to not want them, but i 100% guarantee the difference between how you would feel about spending time with your own kid vs spending time with your niece is night and day

MedeaLysistrata posted...

only the elite should have kids. and then of those kids, only the elite among them should have the next generation of kids.

makes total sense

Been reading Mein Kampf?

AirFresh posted...

Been reading Mein Kampf?

Lord no, but is that what he actually says? I'm pretty sure Hitler would be okay with slaves having kids.

As someone, my opinion on the matter of your business is completely irrelevant. I have two kids and I love them more than anything in the world. You not having kids or wanting kids is perfectly fine and anyone giving you a hard time over it is a moron. People that don't want kids shouldn't have kids, hell half the people that want kids and have kids shouldn't have kids.

IfGodCouldDie posted...

As someone, my opinion on the matter of your business is completely irrelevant. I have two kids and I love them more than anything in the world. You not having kids or wanting kids is perfectly fine and anyone giving you a hard time over it is a moron. People that don't want kids shouldn't have kids, hell half the people that want kids and have kids shouldn't have kids.

You're missing the point where TC would unironically probably make a good dad. no one is shocked I don't want kids, for example.

Oubliettes posted...

it's okay to not want kids but i think a lot of people that dont have them have a lot of wrong ideas of what it's like to be a parent. yeah kids cost money and they need more attention than a pet, but p much the only time you have to devote constant attention is when they're infants. and when youve got a kid, things you might feel right now about other people's kids, dont feel that way about your own

things that piss you off about other peoples kids can be endearing with your own
things that feel like an obligation with your nieces and nephews dont feel that way with your own

like i said, not saying you gotta have kids and it's ok to not want them, but i 100% guarantee the difference between how you would feel about spending time with your own kid vs spending time with your niece is night and day

It definitely is.

I love spending time with my niece or my buddies son. Its great. All the upsides and none of the downside.

CanuckCowboy posted...

Or else you get the "then who will be there when you're old?" nonsense. Spoiler alert: two of my grandparents ended up in care homes and I work in one and having kids does not mean anyone will be there for you in your old age.

People who make this argument really tell on themselves. Like the reason you want children is to take care of you when you're old? Selfish as all fuck.

is this a common problem for you guys?
i don't think i've ever been asked that

@AirFresh

Congratulations, you've just activated every single high school history jock on the board, and probably also some even more annoying history credentials

MedeaLysistrata posted...

You're missing the point where TC would unironically probably make a good dad. no one is shocked I don't want kids, for example.

I probably would too. Biggest flaw I'd have as a parent is I drink. I don't get pissy or aggressive when drunk but I think about stuff like if I absolutely had to drive them somewhere cause something came up but I'm already 3 or 4 shots into drinking.

I got many other reasons I don't want kids though. If I ever did I'd probably adopt

MedeaLysistrata posted...

@AirFresh

Congratulations, you've just activated every single high school history jock on the board, and probably also some even more annoying history credentials

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/9/3/0/AAbwL_AADnLy.jpg

Oubliettes posted...

like i said, not saying you gotta have kids and it's ok to not want them, but i 100% guarantee the difference between how you would feel about spending time with your own kid vs spending time with your niece is night and day

It's night and day because taking care of your own kid takes all of your nights and days.

Unknown5uspect posted...

It's night and day because taking care of your own kid takes all of your nights and days.

maybe if yer a weirdo helicopter parent
ive got 4 kids, work full time, and dont feel like i lack for free time at all

Oubliettes posted...

maybe if yer a weirdo helicopter parent
ive got 4 kids, work full time, and dont feel like i lack for free time at all

More getting at that you can't just not take care of your kid like you can your niece.

Can barely feed my dog let alone a kid
and shes a picky eater. Will only eat meat and steamed vegetables

Its not a subject brought up very often. However I do have one friend who absolutely insists that everyone must have a relationship and must have kids otherwise youre miserable and it just astounds me that people like him can be so ignorant about why having kids isnt for everyone.

If things had played out differently in my life, sure, I couldve seen having kids. But I kind of missed the boat on that lol. Im in my mid-30s, never had a successful relationship, never had a well-paying job.

What girl is gonna be like oh damn, hes a catch. Hes 34, has only ever worked crummy jobs, has never made at least 40 grand a year, and has the dating experience of a 7th grader mmm. Better not let that one get away ?

i don't have kids and i won't. but i think people are right when they say not having kids is selfish. my reasons for not having kids ARE selfish. they're justified in being mad - they're suffering and i'm not. they're contributing to the future and i'm not.

silverpine posted...

i don't have kids and i won't. but i think people are right when they say not having kids is selfish. my reasons for not having kids ARE selfish. they're justified in being mad - they're suffering and i'm not. they're contributing to the future and i'm not.

Why am I obliged to contribute. Human race is in no danger of extinction. Not in danger of lacking enough people to make out societies run (not in numbers anyways. People not wanting to work is another debate) if the human race was barely hanging on numbers wise I'd see the argument.

silverpine posted...

i don't have kids and i won't. but i think people are right when they say not having kids is selfish. my reasons for not having kids ARE selfish. they're justified in being mad - they're suffering and i'm not. they're contributing to the future and i'm not.

Can't be selfish if the other being doesn't exist

having kids is very similar to voting. saying i don't have to have kids because there's enough kids is like saying i don't have to vote because there's enough voters. which is factually correct, no one single vote matters, but if enough people have that same mindset the system falls apart.

silverpine posted...

having kids is very similar to voting. saying i don't have to have kids because there's enough kids is like saying i don't have to vote because there's enough voters. which is factually correct, no one single vote matters, but if enough people have that same mindset the system falls apart.

Most people who have that mindset about voting are highly uninformed anyways and we are probably better off they don't vote. People only say this cause they hope enough will vote for their side.

i don't mind if you think the world is better off without your kids lol but i wasn't gonna say that.

I usually tell them that the Earth already has 7,970,629,00 people, that weve done a really good job but that we dont need more humans at this point.

https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/

since thats a far larger number that 99.9999% of humans can visualize it usually stun-locks them for a bit and they shake their head to clear it and walk away.

Hey you do you. I'll be leaving this life if it's not in my cards, personally.
I think that the ones who say "Don't have kids" to their friends/family who say they do want them, are complete pieces of shit and horrible parents who should've probably not be irresponsible pieces of scum and have children.

I don't know why they should get offended.

Lil_Bit83 posted...

I don't know why they should get offended.

Oh some people definitely get offended. After having kids your life no longer revolves around you.. it's all about your kids now. There is a chemical released in your brain by being around babies / your children and it physically changes you.

Having that trivialized or being told it was irrelevant to make more humans shakes people to their core and goes against millions of years of genetic conditioning.

MedeaLysistrata posted...

only the elite should have kids. and then of those kids, only the elite among them should have the next generation of kids.

makes total sense

This, but unironically

my brother apparently has talked to other members of my immediate family about how he thinks i want kids but i've agreed to not have any because my wife doesn't want any. that's probably the most offended i've been about the whole not having kids thing.