Current Events > Welp, me and my girlfriend broke up.

(+) Yeah! (+)

NoxObscuras posted...

I meant to comment on this earlier. Don't dwell on that part of it too much. Starting fresh at 28 is no biggie.

My ex and I were together for 10 years and we have a kid. Now I'm 33 and actively dating again. And it's been great meeting so many amazing women. I don't consider my 20's wasted, because at least I still grew through that time. And I can better identify what I do and don't want in my next partner.

Same for you. You now have a much better idea of what you don't want. Build on that and you'll find someone that makes you much much happier.

Good to hear cause Im 35 probably separating soon from the wife. As soo as I turned 35 I realized I didnt want to waste my life with someone who doesnt love me.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


I try to be. There's a couple of times where I've been insensitive about it, but I don't do it intentionally and I certainly don't do it to brag. I just have a habit of rambling about some of the happy memories I've had when I get too deep into a conversation.

divot1338 posted...

Guaranteed thats the kind of behavior that will only get worse over time. Use that as inspiration to be more selective the next time.

For sure. Tbh, there were small red flags when we first started dating. If I saw some of the same things with someone else, I'd probably be much less hesitant to cut it off right then and there. Or at least stand up for myself more.

NoxObscuras posted...

I meant to comment on this earlier. Don't dwell on that part of it too much. Starting fresh at 28 is no biggie.

My ex and I were together for 10 years and we have a kid. Now I'm 33 and actively dating again. And it's been great meeting so many amazing women. I don't consider my 20's wasted, because at least I still grew through that time. And I can better identify what I do and don't want in my next partner.

Same for you. You now have a much better idea of what you don't want. Build on that and you'll find someone that makes you much much happier.

That's definitely a good way to look at it. Tbh, I've always felt so far behind my peers and I've been trying to claw my way back up. It felt like I stagnated for a while but again...nothing to really lose anymore.

CARRRNE_ASADA posted...

15 minutes of pleasure is not worth having mental health problems over someone like her.

Yeah. And I already had my fair share of baggage going in that I never fully processed (or even realized was there). Being in this probably didn't help at all.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Thank you. Honestly, I've probably needed to talk to a therapist for a long time and this just seals the deal.

Why are you called RchHomie again?

Number090684 posted...

Why are you called RchHomie again?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rich_Homie_Quan

DrizztLink posted...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rich_Homie_Quan

TY

I feel like I didnt really start being alive in any real way until I was 30. I read your posts tho and I see someone who is not only filled with interesting ideas, but the intellect and drive to accomplish anything. You also just have such a good heart and noble intentions, I cant even count how many times Ive seen you stand up for vulnerable people of all types. Plus even looking at this situation, and how you respected yourself enough to put that boundary up, and stuck with that conviction knowing that its going to be difficult and painful.

Its gonna take time to recover, as it always will, but I sincerely believe that youre a capable enough person to create a really fulfilling life for yourself and I also think that youre the type of person who is enriching to know. I dont know the full specifics of your situation but I think shes lost sight of what really makes you a uniquely wonderful person, and youre worth too much to let yourself be taken for granted.

doesntcare posted...

Generally 75% of one months rent, plus 25% of the remaining months of rent, not to mention however many days your notice has to be 30, 60 or 90 day notice so have to pay those months as well.

it's some BS tbh. damn landlords.
should be lower depending on the circumstances for the tenant.

DespondentDeity posted...

I feel like I didnt really start being alive in any real way until I was 30. I read your posts tho and I see someone who is not only filled with interesting ideas, but the intellect and drive to accomplish anything. You also just have such a good heart and noble intentions, I cant even count how many times Ive seen you stand up for vulnerable people of all types. Plus even looking at this situation, and how you respected yourself enough to put that boundary up, and stuck with that conviction knowing that its going to be difficult and painful.

Its gonna take time to recover, as it always will, but I sincerely believe that youre a capable enough person to create a really fulfilling life for yourself and I also think that youre the type of person who is enriching to know. I dont know the full specifics of your situation but I think shes lost sight of what really makes you a uniquely wonderful person, and youre worth too much to let yourself be taken for granted.

Thank you.....I really needed to hear all of this. Not gonna lie, it brought me to tears.

RchHomieQuanChi posted...

She's one of those people that feels like because she's willing to do that, I should be willing to too.

Damn she's willing to have you work 2 jobs? Lol I'm sure I don't know the full story and I'm sure she's a nice lady otherwise but that's not something you should have to put yourself through in a relationship.

You made the right choice. when one partner talks about sacrifices, they rarely seem to go both ways.

The big argument today was her demanding that I get a second stream of income to help cover bills, even though I already cover $1000 out of our $1650

Assuming this is monthly and both names are on the lease/mortgage, she legally owes you $7,800 minus your half of whatever expenses she covered for every year you were defacto co-habiting. Do not let her forget.

I had a GF who turned into an ex GF who tried to put this shit on me, while owing me $12.7k p/y. She tried to add up every single expense she covered, and it was still no where near what she owed on her half of the rent. Both parties are equally responsible for the rent, it's not a 50/50 split -- you're both 100% responsible for 100% of the rent being paid.
You can sue if you need to, you were defacto co-habiting and financially there's little difference between that and marriage. You own half her assets, legally.

I told the ex I wouldn't take steps to legally recover it if she stopped being a shithead. She stopped being a shithead.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Yeah, I was speaking from experience, unfortunately.

RchHomieQuanChi posted...

Agreed.

And I want to be perfectly honest too, I'm not 100% in the right. There's times where I've fucked up and not stepped up when I should have.

But at a certain point, I just got so tired of the disrespect and being talked down to all of the time. Being called out of name whenever she got mad. Or showing passion for some of my hobbies, only to be met by her annoyance at me talking about them because she doesn't care about them.

I'll admit I lost my passion for the relationship because it just felt like a constant ball of negativity hovering over me.

Yeah, those relationships are messed up, youll be glad to be out of it even more as time goes on. Speaking just from my experience in a relationship like that, it was weird how much Id been conditioned towards certain reactions.

That relationship ended in an emotional bloodbath, but I left the relationship with a much better idea of what I expect from a relationship and what I would and wouldnt put up with. Now been married for almost 8 years, and weve had fewer arguments over the 9 years weve been together than Id have in a month with the ex, towards the end of that relationship.