Current Events > Guy in their 30s with no/little dating experience, who should they be dating?

(+) Yeah! (+)

living in seattle, which over the past decade has become a sort of mecca for poly minded people, i really wanna stress that the terminally online people insisting that you're being some sort of immature ignoramus for not wanting to date someone who already has a kid/other partners really do overwhelmingly look like this

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/3/5/AAcX9OAAD5l_.jpg

date anyone of legal age that you want.

super_clout posted...

date anyone of legal age that you want.

Of course date who you want, the question is do they want you based on the situation.

lilORANG posted...

Meth heads for whatever reason are extremely easy and if you get one early while she still has teeth and help her get clean she'll probably turn out ok.

lol

SomeGuyUO posted...

Of course date who you want, the question is do they want you based on the situation.

I re read the topic, and I am correct in my answer. I don't know what topic you read, but do they want you based on the situation isn't up there.

Each other.

KhlavicLanguage posted...

living in seattle, which over the past decade has become a sort of mecca for poly minded people, i really wanna stress that the terminally online people insisting that you're being some sort of immature ignoramus for not wanting to date someone who already has a kid/other partners really do overwhelmingly look like this

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/3/5/AAcX9OAAD5l_.jpg

Which is the guy that ended up beating her ass and her baby's ass? Is it the guy on the far right or the one on the far left? I always forget

SomeGuyUO posted...

Of course date who you want, the question is do they want you based on the situation.

Yes. Plenty will. I feel like a lot of guys here are using the whole "I have zero dating experience" as an excuse to not even try. Women don't know anything about your dating history until you tell them. And it shouldn't really come up before a first date. So you put yourself out there, go on a date and bam, now you have a little bit of experience. And you build from there. Plus, there are plenty of women in their 30's and 40's with very little dating experience as well. They aren't all dating experts.

And yeah, yeah, you have no experience in the first place because you're undesirable. A lot of that can be fixed. I've seen some below average looking guys with girlfriends. The key is that they took care of their appearance. Their hair wasn't crazy looking, they had clothes that looked good and I'm assuming they smelled good.

DKBananaSlamma posted...

Which is the guy that ended up beating her ass and her baby's ass? Is it the guy on the far right or the one on the far left? I always forget

Pretty sure its the one on the right. Ugh, though

Yep this is me turning 36 have no experience with a woman

I went out with a couple of chicks with kids, but it never went anywhere. One was a chick that had a 7yo once. She was nice and had great hooters, but she kept asking about my pension and finances and stuff on the 1st date, which ticked a bunch of red flags >_> I never went past that with her.

Another was a chick with a 9yo and she was actually super nice and I kinda liked her at first. But idk after a couple of dates, I didn't really feel anything click and plus it was hard to set up stuff with her since she had to work around making sure her kid was being taken care of first. Obviously I don't blame her for putting her kid first but it definitely made things pretty complicated and she just seemed incompatible to me >_>

I feel like I'd still be open to be with someone with a kid, but I'd definitely rather be with someone who doesn't have any lol. It's definitely less complicated.

If someone doesn't want to date anyone who has kids then that is fine. Kids are not a nebulous thing, they are an important part of any parents life (unless they are a complete deadbeat who somehow avoids child payments). If you don't want to date someone with kids don't be pressured into doing so.

NoxObscuras posted...

Women don't know anything about your dating history until you tell them. And it shouldn't really come up before a first date.

True, they don't my history. They do know what they want though, and it's not me.

NoxObscuras posted...

And yeah, yeah, you have no experience in the first place because you're undesirable.

Well, ouch. Twist the knife a bit more.

NoxObscuras posted...

I've seen some below average looking guys with girlfriends.

This isn't as motivational as you may think it is.

https://youtu.be/E8t9JEROAzQ

KogaSteelfang posted...

True, they don't my history. They do know what they want though, and it's not me.

Why are you convinced that they wouldn't want you? What about you is so undesirable that you think there's absolutely no one that would be interested?

And as far as women knowing what they want? You're giving people a lot of credit there. I know both men and women who are still figuring out what they want well into their 40's.

Well, ouch. Twist the knife a bit more.

Lol that wasn't intended as a knife twist. Just trying to preemptively counter that. I saw what you guys were saying at the beginning of the topic.

This isn't as motivational as you may think it is.

I'm just saying, the possibilities are out there.

NoxObscuras posted...

Why are you convinced that they wouldn't want you?

I'm nearly 40 years old. I've never been on a date. Kinda speaks for itself at this point.

NoxObscuras posted...

What about you is so undesirable that you think there's absolutely no one that would be interested?

I don't have the answer to that. You ever see a product that just doesn't sell? That's me. Asking the product why no one wants it won't get you any real info.

NoxObscuras posted...

And as far as women knowing what they want? You're giving people a lot of credit there. I know both men and women who are still figuring out what they want well into their 40's.

Honestly, I feel like people in general don't get enough credit. People are hardworking, and driven and aim for their goals. Look at all the things people have built and created. You're all amazing.

But yeah, I guess I misworded that. It should've been "they know what they like, and it's not me." I'm no one's type. I'm just a pathetic little man whose hope died out years ago.

KogaSteelfang posted...

I don't have the answer to that.

Nah, we went over this before. You have only two issues: 1) your toxic upbringing and the resultant defeatist mindset that it has created and 2) the fact that you live in the middle of nowhere (AFAIK). If you moved to a better place and worked on building a more optimistic mindset women would be lining up to date you.

I was brought up to be humble and not to stand out. I grew up not to compete with people. I always let people go first, let people pick first. Let people speak first. Smiling often and never cause conflict or hard disagree in conversations.

So I may be popular amongst the elderly. But you can imagine why no woman would want a guy like me to be their boyfriend/husband.

the average man is unfuckable

the average woman gets blasted by limitless chad dick

Cobra1010 posted...

I was brought up to be humble and not to stand out. I grew up not to compete with people. I always let people go first, let people pick first. Let people speak first. Smiling often and never cause conflict or hard disagree in conversations.

So I may be popular amongst the elderly. But you can imagine why no woman would want a guy like me to be their boyfriend/husband.

Women arent a hivemind man. There's women that like quieter men.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


No it's a big thing. It might not be the only thing but being in a relationship is a thing you learn from experience.

there's communication, dependency, needs, wants, and sexual compatibility. All of that comes with dating experience. Can people without it make it work? Sure but there will probably be speedbumps

Blue_Thunder posted...

Nah, we went over this before. You have only two issues: 1) your toxic upbringing and the resultant defeatist mindset that it has created and 2) the fact that you live in the middle of nowhere (AFAIK). If you moved to a better place and worked on building a more optimistic mindset women would be lining up to date you.

Well, yeah, but like he said, they won't know my history until I share it. Gamefaqs is my outlet, where I get to express how I really feel deep down without a ton of risk. I don't express those in my life in other areas. They really shouldn't be able to just sense a problem with me.

And sure, I live in a really small mountain town without many people around... But that doesn't stop anyone else. Aside from my 9 year old cousin, I'm the only person that I know that isn't married or a parent. They all managed. Everyone I see managed. I'm the only one who can't.

The older I get the more panicked I get about being alone for the rest of my life. I don't really know what to do.

Your mom.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

Yeah, my girl has an 11 year old daughter, and seriously...the fuck does it matter? Refusing to interact with kids says a lot about some one, and none of it is good.

As a man, theres expectations that you are going to help provide for her but a kid in addition to that? I can barely afford to take care of myself. I already struggle in this world where I cant afford my own house. Nah I already gave up my dream of having my own mini-me to teach and enjoy video games with ;-; I also dont need the constant reminder that the girl I would call babe loved someone else enough to create a life with.

dioxxys posted...

As a man, theres expectations that you are going to help provide for her but a kid in addition to that? I can barely afford to take care of myself. I already struggle in this world where I cant afford my own house. Nah I already gave up my dream of having my own mini-me to teach and enjoy video games with ;-; I also dont need the constant reminder that the girl I would call babe loved someone else enough to create a life with.

Nah man the same people will then turn around and make fun of you for not being solidly upper middle class.

There's no point in engaging with people who cannot understand why there is a massive list of valid reasons to not wanting to date someone with a kid.

MedeaLysistrata posted...

The older I get the more panicked I get about being alone for the rest of my life. I don't really know what to do.

same

ImAMarvel posted...

Tell that to the people who are in the position of dating or rejecting someone like that. I feel like for most people, it's an automatic dealbreaker, especially for women.

Do you have any irl evidence of this or are you just assuming negative intentions from people?

Typically having less experience means that you're more 'teachable', which can be a benefit unto itself.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


only virgins and insecure men think that lol

Jesus christ there's a lot of stupid takes in this topic.

Date who you want that is legally of age. That's it.

Sackgurl posted...

again

the thing to do is date people you meet organically while pursuing interests that improve you physically or mentally

if you have no such interests, the expectation of dating someone is not realistic

Very true regarding finding someone organically. You get to see them at their best and worst, which means you know a lot about them and their baggage. I've seen many health relationships that starts from geniune friendship.

However, finding someone that is health for you physically or mentally is a mix bag for me. Almost always in a relationship, you're going to be in a situation where it will test you emotionally and mentally like when being in an argument or life throws a major wrench in your face. Almost never are you going to be happy 100% in a relationship, but as long as there is some sort of compromise you're willing to work with your partner is ultimately going to be the big test for compatibility or not.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Because its gamefaqs, and a lot of peoples worldviews here include perspectives that break from the norm and can be a bit naive sometimes.

Prestoff posted...

Date who you want that is legally of age. That's it.

Glad to see people say this because I have dismissed a few girls based off this.

Possibly I will say eff it, I have a line for when people heckle me for it. "I will start dating women my age when women my age want me". I mean other wise I might die a bitter lonely old man.... or possibly a middle-aged one.

dioxxys posted...

Glad to see people say this because I have dismissed a few girls based off this.

Possibly I will say eff it, I have a line for when people heckle me for it. "I will start dating women my age when women my age want me". I mean other wise I might die a bitter lonely old man.... or possibly a middle-aged one.

I will absolutely say this, there is some truth to the "dating women around your age" deal. You're more likely to find common ground that isn't surface level around women your age versus women much younger or older than you. If you can't find common ground, communication is going to be difficult which means a higher likely chance of a relationship failing. The reason you tend to find older men dating/marrying younger women (other than sick fucks that think younger women are easier to take advantage of) is biology. Women superficially like security and experience while men, superficially, like looks and youth.

Date who you want that is legally of age. That's it.

yikes