Current Events > My girlfriend of 5 years just lost her brother to a stabbing.

(+) Yeah! (+)

He was a genuinely great dude, maybe 21 years old. I wish I knew how to console her. She just learned of it though so I know she's devastated and doesn't want to talk. I called and her Mother answered and I just heard her crying in the background. They grew up and lived together for most of their lives and went through foster care together. I can't imagine who would want to hurt him or why.

Sorry to hear, RIP. Hopefully more information is learned as to why, but its all so senseless.

RIP. World is getting worse.

Deaths by violence leave a void that is very hard to describe; you never saw it coming, and you worry over the minutiae of it all. How the person suffered, what you said to them last, etc.

What you say wont much matter; be there, listen, let her cry. Take food for the family, because nobody wants to cook in the midst of a tragedy. Do whatever needs done to alleviate the mundane strain on them, and attend the services with her.

Shell get through it.

Buy her flowers and give her a hug. You dont have to say anything, just be there for her.

You probably just need your ears for this

Yeah just be there for her, but also give her some alone time. Somethings you gotta grieve by yourself.

Dont need to say anything, you can be a shoulder to cry on.

I really want to go over there and be there for her but I worry she needs time alone. We were planning to have Thanksgiving with her family tomorrow so I do wonder if they'll still be doing that. They probably don't even know.

Also is being a shoulder to cry on any good if I'm crying too. I genuinely loved this man. But she obviously loved him much much more

AceAttorneyist posted...

Also is being a shoulder to cry on any good if I'm crying too. I genuinely loved this man. But she obviously loved him much much more

Yes. Youre allowed to feel emotions. Its cathartic for you both to express your grief and what you loved about the person you both lost.

Sincerely sorry for her and your loss, dude.

Patchwork posted...

Yes. Youre allowed to feel emotions. Its cathartic for you both to express your grief and what you loved about the person you both lost.

100% agree with this.

I agree with what others have said, I think it's good to try to be there for her. You don't necessarily have to say much, just being there for her is the right thing to do, if she wants that. Really sorry to hear about your loss.

@Simon_Petrikov

@pojr

If you guys ever remember seeing Itachi in our arenas that was him. I think he joined a couple times, not too many. He hadn't challenged me in a few months but I played with him many times. He mained King K. Rool and had Mewtwo and Kirby as secondaries. I would always have to tell him not to feel bad losing the Falcon/K. Rool match up because of how badly Falcon Dive destroys K. Rool's recovery. The Switch he used was one I bought for my girlfriend but he was its primary user. He racked up over 1300 hours playing and the last time he played was 3 days ago. He was probably looking forward to playing me in Smash tomorrow as that's something we've done at their family gatherings numerous times before. I was still undefeated at the gatherings so he surely wanted to show off how much better he got. He was able to take a few games the last time we played online

Those are some hardcore hours. I know that would have been a really good session.
Was he into going to locals or anything like that?

Simon_Petrikov posted...

Those are some hardcore hours. I know that would have been a really good session.
Was he into going to locals or anything like that?

My girlfriend and I tried to get him to come with us but he probably felt like he wasn't ready yet

AceAttorneyist posted...

@Simon_Petrikov

@pojr

If you guys ever remember seeing Itachi in our arenas that was him. I think he joined a couple times, not too many. He hadn't challenged me in a few months but I played with him many times. He mained King K. Rool and had Mewtwo and Kirby as secondaries. I would always have to tell him not to feel bad losing the Falcon/K. Rool match up because of how badly Falcon Dive destroys K. Rool's recovery. The Switch he used was one I bought for my girlfriend but he was its primary user. He racked up over 1300 hours playing and the last time he played was 3 days ago. He was probably looking forward to playing me in Smash tomorrow as that's something we've done at their family gatherings numerous times before. I was still undefeated at the gatherings so he surely wanted to show off how much better he got. He was able to take a few games the last time we played online

the name itachi sounds very familiar. i don't remember k rool though. never realized he was in a few of our arenas.

pojr posted...

the name itachi sounds very familiar. i don't remember k rool though. never realized he was in a few of our arenas.

It could be my girlfriend you're remembering. She'll jump in sometimes when she's at my house so she'll change my tag from Mike to Itachi. She plays Cloud.

She doesn't want to see anyone, they aren't doing Thanksgiving. She keeps texting me at least. She says she doesn't want to eat or drink. I encouraged her to eat something at some point. Not sure what else I should do

I can relate to this. Five months ago a good friend of mine survived a knife attack that put her in the hospital but her mother and younger sister, just 15, were both killed.

She lives in a different part of the country so I am unable to visit her. I have only heard from her a few times by text and they are weeks apart from each other. I have written and mailed her a couple letters to her full of love and support.

Getting news as devastating as this is never easy and it will take a long, long time for a full recovery. There are no magic words that will heal the emotional pain, just time and talking about it to people who will listen. I have reconnected with a few friends over my experience and I highly suggest you reach out as well to get out your emotions.

AceAttorneyist posted...

I know she's devastated and doesn't want to talk.

i felt the same way when my dog nearly died :(.

condolences for loss.

Awful to hear... was it random or targeted?

tripleh213 posted...

RIP. World is getting worse.

World's always been this way, dude.

I'm really sorry, TC.

RIP to him.

My condolences

I'd just say something like "I'm here for you whenever you need me" and give her time.

But yeah, fucking sucks. RIP.