Current Events > Hypothetical: You're kidnapped alongside the entire German men's soccerball team

(+) Yeah! (+)

You're walking home one day when you walk past a bunch of guys kicking a ball around. You pay it no mind but then a couple of steps later you feel a whack across the back of your head and it must have been wielded by a student of Garrett because you fall unconcious on the spot.

When you wake up you find yourself lying on the floor in a prison cell in some kind of underground complex. Your head heads so bad, everything you had on you has been taken away and your hands are tied behind your back. You look around and see you are surrounded by all the guys who you saw playing soccerball. And this close you realize they are the German national team. They must have been practicing.

Their hands are tied too and they're also trying to figure out where they are. In the corner of the room outside the cell by the only door stand 2 burly looking guys with balaclavas on, one holding an AK-47 and the other has some kind of handgun in a holster.

Your kidnappers are clearly intending to ask for a huge ransom in exchange for the team.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/2/0/6/AAZiH8AAD8P2.jpg

Your captors don't seem to realize yet that you're not a member of the team and are effectively worthless.

How do you react?
What do you do?

I tell the soccer team that I am the owner's son or something like that.. That why I'm being held captive too

Ratchetrockon posted...

I tell the soccer team that I am the owner's son or something like that..

You'd think they'd know that <_<

I break the restraints, bust down the door, kill my captors and escape with the German soccer team.

Were_Wyrm posted...

I break the restraints, bust down the door, kill my captors and escape with the German soccer team.

jeez :/

So do you come up with these or do you have like a place you repost them from or

I tell the kidnappers how fucking stupid they are to think I'm on the team. I dont even speak German. I'm in normal clothes, not a team uniform. I clearly wasn't playing soccer. I was likely walking past the field, not on it and was probably very far away from the actual action. I dont get how they mistook me as taking part in the practice

I would insult their stupidity and tell them they are stupidest people I've ever met

I'd be like, "do I look like I have the physique of a soccer player?"

g0ldie posted...

I'd be like, "do I look like I have the physique of a soccer player?"

Maybe they thought you were the ball

Were_Wyrm posted...

I break the restraints, kill the German soccer team.

Me.

pegusus123456 posted...

Maybe they thought you were the ball

dayum

i take the money

UnfairRepresent posted...

Your captors don't seem to realize yet that you're not a member of the team and are effectively worthless.

just like the German National team?

ALIEN_WORK2HOP posted...

just like the German National team?

https://i.imgur.com/92E1dfU.gif