Current Events > Update on the email I got from my ex apologizing for cheating

(+) Yeah! (+)

Wasn't a huge topic but figured Id share with anyone who was interested: I got a voicemail from someone doing a background check on her for some kind of job with the police, said she had me listed as a previous boyfriend and housemate. Makes sense because when I was getting my federal clearance they did something similar where you have to basically list every single person youve ever been associated with and they contact them to verify that.

So, mystery solvedthe whole apology thing wasnt her trying to rekindle things or going through some type of recovery program and making amends, she was just reaching out to try to do damage control because she knew this was coming lol

what did you say to the background check person?

Wow lol. And I remember that topic. IIRC, you deleted the email immediately and blocked her address I think? Also wild that she would list you at all. I would think there's no way for them to prove she dated you.

Jupiter posted...

Wow lol. And I remember that topic. IIRC, you deleted the email immediately and blocked her address I think? Also wild that she would list you at all. I would think there's no way for them to prove she dated you.

For some background checks you have to list exes. Im not even kidding.

deanshow posted...

For some background checks you have to list exes. Im not even kidding.

And those checks use Social Media, they'll know your hiding them. That's a bad look.

TaylorHeinicke posted...

what did you say to the background check person?

I didnt call back. Im not really planning to go out of my way to help her get a job but if they keep calling I will probably answer at some point just to stop being pestered.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I doubt they will be asking for those kinds of details, usually they just want to verify that the timeline of when we lived together matches up with what she told them. Also I feel like if I were doing this sort of interview Id take any sort of character assessments from ex-partners with a pretty large grain of salt so I doubt anything I said in that respect would be taken into consideration.

Jupiter posted...

Wow lol. And I remember that topic. IIRC, you deleted the email immediately and blocked her address I think? Also wild that she would list you at all. I would think there's no way for them to prove she dated you.

Thats the one lol. As for why she listed me, she probably didnt have a choice. When I was getting background checked by the FBI for my credentials as a federal contractor, they needed basically a reference for every single place Id ever lived in the past decade, plus every place Id worked. They do pretty thorough investigating to make sure you havent lied about anything and that there arent any gaps in your residence or employment timeline (even if you were unemployed you have to have a reference for each instance of unemployment who can verify that you were unemployed then). And on top of all that you cant use the same reference twice. So she probably needs me to verify that we lived in our apartment together during the time that we did.

lol Pretty scummy to come back into your life and potentially trigger past mental trauma just to be like "Please don't shit on me bro.".

Number090684 posted...

lol Pretty scummy to come back into your life and potentially trigger past mental trauma just to be like "Please don't shit on me bro.".

It wasnt even like, a particularly good manipulation attempt on her part, either. Like the jig was immediately up as soon as I got the message about the background check lol

That's just crazy lol. In her email she could have added something about the whole background check thing. That would have made the whole thing less...weird and manipulative.