Current Events > Old simpsons jokes you remember randomly

(+) Yeah! (+)

masterpug53 posted...

It's sad how every aspect of that episode was perfectly prescient except for that exact line.

Hahaha, so true.

Sneed's Feed and Seed (formerly Chuck's)

Homer: I notice your house smells of feces.
Jane: Yes.
Homer: And not just monkey feces.

Flanders turns of FOX saying something like "Well I guess watching a moment won't hurt"

Then it is Married with Children and they do some married with children joke

Then god strikes the area around Flanders house with lightning.

WilliamPorygon posted...

"Homer, we're going to my sister's! Remember, pick up Bart!"
"I'm on my way!"

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/0/5/AABGtnAAEK65.jpg
"What'd you say Marge?"

"I am woman, hear me roar! in numbers too big to ignore! And I know too much to go back to prete-end!!!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KaD0N2WI44

Yeah, I bought your mutt. And I 'ate him!

"SEX CAULDRON!? I thought they closed that place down!"

"Say, is that Dad?"

"Either that or Batman's really let himself go."

DIE

"Ahhhh!!"

DIET

"AAAGGGHHH!!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcE0aAhbVFc

"Gaim? What's a gaim?"

*walks into gym*

"Ohhh! A gaim!"

Q. What did O.J. do when he saw the cops in his rearview mirror?
A: He froze and concentrated.

Ooops, wrong Simpson.

brestugo posted...

Q. What did O.J. do when he saw the cops in his rearview mirror?
A: He froze and concentrated.

Ooops, wrong Simpson.

Back in the day either Mad or Cracked did a 'The Simpson' comic where O.J.'s face was superimposed on Bart's body, and he was skateboarding around with a bloody knife in hand. It was, uh, a simpler time.

You are a disappointment to H-O-M-E-R

"Linguo... dead!"

"Linguo... is... dead..."

"I fell 8,000 feet onto a pile of jagged rocks! 'Course folks were tougher in those days. I was jitterbuggin' that very night!"

"Bye chief! Enjoy Bob Saget!"
"It's Bob Seger!"
*looks at tickets*
"Aw, crap..."

"'Nuke the Whales'? You don't really believe that, do you?"

"I dunno, gotta nuke somethin'."

No one's gay for Moleman.

"If I'm going to find Flanders, I have to think like Flanders! I'm a four-eyed lame-o, and I wear the same stupid sweater every day, and- THE SPRINGFIELD RIVER!!!"

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/0/0/7/AAfPwcAAEL0v.png

Cop: So it's a smoke-easy you're running, then?
*Homer and Abe try to run away*
Cop: So it's escaping you're think of, then?
Homer: I can't tell if those are questions of statements.
Cop: So it's our syntax you're criticizing, then?

Canadian Flanders: You want a puff of my reeferino? It's legal here!

Flanders: ...They warned me the devil would be attractive.

I'm reminded of old Simpson jokes all the time, it's like 90% of my sense of humor

MC_BatCommander posted...

I'm reminded of old Simpson jokes all the time, it's like 90% of my sense of humor

"I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter."

"Good gravy!"
"Oh, thank you! It's just brown and water."

"But Marge, we're college guys and we're up to no good!"
"Mr. Simpson, Gary spilled his ear medicine."

"Well, there goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality."

Bart:"Who would want to hurt me, Lisa?"
Lisa: "Who have you been sending hate mail to all these years?"
Bart:"Linda Lavin?"
Lisa: "No, somebody who didn't deserve it."

Bury me at Make-Out Creek

"Tell my friends I died kissing a girl!"

"No."

"Okay Lisa, DMY"

"What's 'DMY'?"

"Don't Mess Yourself."

"Eww..."

"Yeah, that's why we changed it to DMY."

Im tired of watching you dog it on that football field. From now on, Im going to work you like a dog.

Can't remember if this gem's been said.

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

"Aw, I'm gonna miss the whole summer!"

"Don't worry, son. When you grow up, you'll miss every summer!"

Smithers: I told you Simpson was a poor choice sir.
Mr. Burns: You know Smithers, "I told you so" has a brother. His name is shut the hell up!

And not a joke, but some sad words from Mr. Smithers:

"Let me tell you about dames, Milhouse. I know nothing about 'em. But as for love, what keeps you going is the thrill of the chase. The possibility that you might get what you want, even though the reality is you probably never will."

Good lord. Dr. Doolittle is Chief Wiggum!

I want some taquitos.

Aw, what a shame, not a looker in the bunch.

"Why won't anyone give me an award?"
"You won a Grammy."
"I mean an award that's worth winning."

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Mr. Simpson's opinions do not reflect those of the producers, who don't consider the Grammy an award at all.

"That's my life you're describing!"

p-r-a-y f-o-r m-o-j-o

"My baloney has a first name, it's H-O-M-E-R. My baloney has a second name, it's H-O-M-E-R."

(Homer Homer?)

*Abe watching Super Bowl*
Now Johnny Unitas, theres a haircut you could set your watch to!

lisa needs braces

"No TV and No beer make Homer something something."

"Go crazy?"

"Don't mind if I do."

Robot2600 posted...

lisa needs braces

Dental plan!

Theeeeeeme...
From A Summer Plaaaacce...
From A Summer Place...
The theme...
From A Summmmmer Place...
It's the theme...

I have no idea why, but this shot always gets me giggling.

I guess we all have that one thing you just cant help yourself laughing at.

https://youtu.be/WVFWGV6EFXw?t=20