Current Events > How can i befriend my gamer ex-coworker (i have crippling social anxiety)

(+) Yeah! (+)

My thing is just being honest to who I am and not worrying about how I come off. Cause if you feel you gotta act a certain way, it's not gonna be fun to hang out anyway. If you don't gel, that's ok and it doesn't mean anything is wrong with either person.

And usually when you give vague advice it isn't helpful cause you don't really know if the person you're talking to is likable when they're themselves. But you literally won a contest here (multiple times?) that had to do with how likable we are lol. I know I bring that up a lot, but why not, it's a good thing to have to reference when you're not feeling so confident. If I was you, Id use it to shush my negative thoughts when Im feeling like a not so cool person lol.

I kind of just try to ignore how anxious I can get before voice chatting with someone. I think about how people always say they're not good at it on the other end too and how I feel like they're actually really likable. So, I just figure I might be psyching myself out like they are as well and am not really that bad either.

LukaDoncic77 posted...

is there a follow up @TeaMilk, did you take some (or none) of the advice given in this topic?

I know it sounds like im making excuses, but I REALLY intended to message him yesterday but he wasn't online at all. I plan to just be like "hey how's it going" next time. I'll be normal about it

Lost_All_Senses posted...

My thing is just being honest to who I am and not worrying about how I come off. Cause if you feel you gotta act a certain way, it's not gonna be fun to hang out anyway. If you don't gel, that's ok and it doesn't mean anything is wrong with either person.

And usually when you give vague advice it isn't helpful cause you don't really know if the person you're talking to is likable when they're themselves. But you literally won a contest here (multiple times?) that had to do with how likable we are lol. I know I bring that up a lot, but why not, it's a good thing to have to reference when you're not feeling so confident. If I was you, Id use it to shush my negative thoughts when Im feeling like a not so cool person lol.

I kind of just try to ignore how anxious I can get before voice chatting with someone. I think about how people always say they're not good at it on the other end too and how I feel like they're actually really likable. So, I just figure I might be psyching myself out like they are as well and am not really that bad either.

I think you're right, im not sure how but i just have to somehow ignore how nervous I am. I dont necessarily think I'm unlikable or anything, but im rarely able to get comfortable enough with anyone to exhibit anything but nervous politeness lol.

TeaMilk posted...

also his steam name is a rick & morty reference. advice?

Oh... Honey...

ApherosyLove posted...

Oh... Honey...

Hi apherosy <3

Ok I actually think this is incorrect after all. @DocileOrangeCup (avid Rick & morty enjoyer apparently!) told me it was a reference, but after looking it up its spelled pretty significantly different so

I assume everything has gone well since my last post and a wedding is now in the plans?

guys like it when you're straight up and honest, especially when you're not trying to get something secret or extra. if some girl came up to me and was like "i want to hang out because i don't have friends but i'm not asking you out, but i need to spend time" i'd be like cool let's do it without thinking that i need to expect anything else.

is it difficult? yeah of course it's difficult to be honest, but what's the drawback? you're putting everything on the table and the guy knows what's up. the more you try to play around it, or hide something, or give vague hints, the more he's going to think something else is up.

the more mysterious, the worse. and ultimately, not doing any of this will make you not hang out anyway, so there's nothing really to lose. best case scenario is you get a guy who realizes you just need friends and you can spend some time with without it getting awkward. involving your current boyfriend is a plus but not a requirement. again, the less awkward you make it, the better overall.

TeaMilk posted...

Hi apherosy <3

Hey lovely <3 missed u while I was dead

I wish I could contribute to this topic but I've literally never messaged anyone for the first time asking to meet because I'm a fucking mess with strangers IRL.
Hell, I'm a fucking mess with most of my friends.

TeaMilk posted...

@DocileOrangeCup (avid Rick & morty enjoyer apparently!

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/6/9/1/AAZuMeAAD0jb.png

If you're trying to be social and make friends but have little experience in doing so, you kinda have to accept you're gonna bungle it a bit.

Making friends is like Dark Souls. If you havent played before you're going to die a lot. But you cant not die until you die, so just keep dying until you stop.

Kim_Seong-a posted...

If you're trying to be social and make friends but have little experience in doing so, you kinda have to accept you're gonna bungle it a bit.

Making friends is like Dark Souls. If you havent played before you're going to die a lot. But you cant not die until you die, so just keep dying until you stop.

How do I speedrun friends?

I've never even WATCHED rickin morddey

smh i felt mentally ready to message him this week finally, but he's always offline. Hopefully I get a chance this weekend

could he be appearing invisible? Just message him

k1zzl3_82 posted...

could he be appearing invisible? Just message him

idk? he was online quite a lot last week, i was just too pussy then. i'll think about it

TeaMilk posted...

smh i felt mentally ready to message him this week finally, but he's always offline. Hopefully I get a chance this weekend

Honestly this is best case scenario for me. I love messaging people when they're offline because I can cool off and stop thinking about it.

ApherosyLove posted...

Honestly this is best case scenario for me. I love messaging people when they're offline because I can cool off and stop thinking about it.

OK yeah this makes a lot of sense tbh, thats how i was able to handle emailing in the first place. Ill probably do this if i STILL dont see him online this weekend

i also saw this posted on one of my steam friends profiles, maybe i should open with it

IF U WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA MOTHA THAT KILLED U!

..._.....____________________, ,
....../ `---___________----_____] = = = = = D
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//

WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
Send this GUN to everyone you care about including me if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get a 9 your A TRUE HOMIE!

TeaMilk posted...

i also saw this posted on one of my steam friends profiles, maybe i should open with it

Wow I just got kicked in the nostalgia balls, I saw that a LOT on GaiaOnline when I was just a wee child.