Current Events > Stupid question, what the hell am I?

(+) Yeah! (+)

This is where you're going to have to forgive me if I appear a bit gauche and use terms inappropriately. I'm still learning.

Quite a few years back, I managed to reconcile the fact that yes, I like both guys and gals. I've dated both and don't really have a preference when it comes to relationships, other than who has a personality that piques my interest, and I can "click" with better. That was hard, considering my dad was adamant that "The Bisexuals" were responsible for the AIDS epidemic in heterosexual people. I guess he'd never heard of intravenous drugs or blood transfusions. I never told him that I liked guys and gals. I told my mum, though, but I knew all about her Marlene Dietrich phase. She was cool with it, unsurprisingly.

Anyway, moving on.

More recently, I had one of those weird, purgative moments of clarity where I managed to be completely honest with myself, and I came to terms with that fact that although I have a penis, and it's one I'm quite attached to, I don't consider myself to be male. That said, I don't consider myself to be female, either. All things considered; the closest approximation would be "non-binary".

I mean, I've had girls knock me back because I could apparently leave them for a guy, I've had guys knock me back because I could suddenly decide to go girls only. In both instances, it's been thought to be a "phase", I guess. I've had people tell me I'm just trying to be different and interesting.

Funnily enough, I spent a lot of my life trying not to seem different, but Genesis P'Orridge has always been a hero of mine. Go figure.

Am I just an inveterate fence-sitter? If you can answer that one, it's better than I've ever done.

Why do you feel the need to label yourself?

You are you.

Foppe posted...

You are you.

But who's that?

MFBKBass5 posted...

Why do you feel the need to label yourself?

I don't know, but I'd totally kick my ass if I found myself holding up a gas station.

A miserable little pile of secrets.

Heartomaton posted...

A miserable little pile of secrets.

I've always been more partial to a featherless biped.

DirtyComputer posted...

I've always been more partial to a featherless biped.

Meat popsicle.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I have, but I wouldn't call it helpful, as such.

Heartomaton posted...

Meat popsicle.

Negative. Leelo Dallas Multipass. Mul-Ti-Pass.

There. Have we memed enough?

DirtyComputer posted...

There. Have we memed enough?

This isn't even my final form.

Heartomaton posted...

This isn't even my final form.

Stop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJ62RzJkYUo

Yeesh. Be that way then.

Heartomaton posted...

Yeesh. Be that way then.

I got threshold apprehension, what?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTcqa--5OFg

Throbbing gristle and porridge is terrible, pretentious art-house twaddle. But they made a killing from it, so yeah, go porridge I guess...

To answer your question, you are unique human creature, just like the rest of us. Now ask yourself "who are WE?"

Adyingod posted...

Throbbing gristle and porridge is terrible, pretentious art-house twaddle. But they made a killing from it, so yeah, go porridge I guess...

To answer your question, you are unique human creature, just like the rest of us. Now ask yourself "who are WE?"

IDK but I think you may be a prat.

DirtyComputer posted...

IDK but I think you may be a prat.

Oh, why? Did I offend you by having my own opinion of your idol? It's okay, take it out on me if it makes you feel better. Tell me, why do you hate your mother?

Adyingod posted...

Oh, why? Did I offend you by having my own opinion of your idol? It's okay, take it out on me if it makes you feel better. Tell me, why do you hate your mother?

Nah, it didn't offend me. Your post just made you seem like a prat, that's all. There's a fairly big difference between going "yeah, this guy's a prat" and going "this has shaken me to my core with its offensiveness". Asking me why I hate my mother is a weird conversational turn, I'll admit, but also the action of the consummate prat, particularly considering you at least skimmed my original post. So yes. Thanks for confirming the designation of "prat", I guess.

You are whoever you choose to be. Your sexuality doesnt define you.

Thats the thing though: no one can ever know you better than you know yourself. I cant tell you what you are, nor can anyone else. You define that for yourself, and if you find a digestible pre-existing label thats comfy, well, it at least makes it easier to explain yourself to others, if nothing else.

I can tell you I know four enbies and theyre all different people with different gender expressions, but exploring those expressions and going their different ways brought them greater peace.

DirtyComputer posted...

Nah, it didn't offend me. Your post just made you seem like a prat, that's all. There's a fairly big difference between going "yeah, this guy's a prat" and going "this has shaken me to my core with its offensiveness". Asking me why I hate my mother is a weird conversational turn, I'll admit, but also the action of the consummate prat, particularly considering you at least skimmed my original post. So yes. Thanks for confirming the designation of "prat", I guess.

You're projecting now, and we've run out of time for this therapy session I'm afraid. See yourself out. Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

Adyingod posted...

You're projecting now, and we've run out of time for this therapy session I'm afraid. See yourself out. Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

I'm terribly sorry you've become unexpectedly Freudened, I wasn't aware you were in therapy.

Maybe non-binary, bisexual, demiromantic

DirtyComputer posted...

I'm terribly sorry you've become unexpectedly Freudened, I wasn't aware you were in therapy.

I just said that. Now you're copying me.

Adyingod posted...

I just said that. Now you're copying me.

Nah, you didn't make it pithy with a pun, so it just made you sound like a bit of a prat.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

Thats the thing though: no one can ever know you better than you know yourself. I cant tell you what you are, nor can anyone else. You define that for yourself,

Exactly. Once you know who you are, the labels others put on you become just that, a label.

DirtyComputer posted...

Nah, you didn't make it pithy with a pun, so it just made you sound like a bit of a prat.

People who use the word prat are literally prats themselves. And you ask us what the hell am I and you answered your own question there. A prat.

Apologies for missing these on first pass, someone's being a bit of a prat.

fan357 posted...

You are whoever you choose to be. Your sexuality doesnt define you.

I know it doesn't define me, but it does provide a certain shorthand, and let's face it, people operate in shorthand, don't they? I'm not defined by my sexuality, it doesn't define the entirety of my being, but part of the human condition is trying to find commonalities with other humans. Another part of the human condition is finding out who we are. Unless we don't, I guess.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

Thats the thing though: no one can ever know you better than you know yourself. I cant tell you what you are, nor can anyone else. You define that for yourself, and if you find a digestible pre-existing label thats comfy, well, it at least makes it easier to explain yourself to others, if nothing else.

I can tell you I know four enbies and theyre all different people with different gender expressions, but exploring those expressions and going their different ways brought them greater peace.

I have actual and intellectual IBS, so anything will be hard to digest, I think. I'm one of nature's difficult people, but thank you. I honestly appreciate your opinion on this.

Adyingod posted...

People who use the word prat are literally prats themselves. And you ask us what the hell am I and you answered your own question there. A prat.

Sorry, all I can hear is a prat in serious denial.

You came into this topic, with your big prattish boots on to prat up the place because I had the temerity to look up to Genesis P'Orridge, then decided to stink up the place because I called you a prat.

In a topic where I've been stupid enough to bare at least part of my soul.

Seriously, shame on you, you prat.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Thanks, it's good to know I'm not supposed to leave my own topic. The way they were going on there, for a second, they were behaving like a bit of a... prat.

DirtyComputer posted...

I wasn't aware you were in therapy.

There we go, lack of self awareness and relinquishing of responsibility. Why doesn't this surprise me...

DirtyComputer posted...

Sorry, all I can hear is a prat in serious denial.

You came into this topic, with your big prattish boots on to prat up the place because I had the temerity to look up to Genesis P'Orridge, then decided to stink up the place because I called you a prat.

In a topic where I've been stupid enough to bare at least part of my soul.

Seriously, shame on you, you prat.

Nah, i merely said I didn't like porridge then you attacked me, don't get it twisted. But yeah, fight that big fight in your head there.

Based on what you said, I would classify you as a non-binary bisexual.

Adyingod posted...

Nah, i merely said I didn't like porridge then you attacked me, don't get it twisted. But yeah, fight that big fight in your head there.

My sincerest of apologies, Im allergic to prats.

Spin4Fun359663 posted...

Based on what you said, I would classify you as a non-binary bisexual.

That sounds sensible enough

Pansexual?

When asked the question 'sex?'... do you say 'Yes, please?'

Spin4Fun359663 posted...

Based on what you said, I would classify you as a non-binary bisexual.

I was thinking maybe non-binary, bisexual, demiromantic

DirtyComputer posted...

My sincerest of apologies, Im allergic to prats.

You seem quite intolerant need I say prejudice towards people you dislike. Not a very good look for you when you're fishing for pity, I must say.

Based on the information you provided and my expertise,you appear to be a DirtyComputer.

Adyingod posted...

You seem quite intolerant need I say prejudice towards people you dislike. Not a very good look for you when you're fishing for pity, I must say.

Just stop man. You unnecessarily dissed TCs idol and they called you a prat for it. And youre continuing to prove them correct.

Get over it and stop projecting.

@TC - As others have stated, theres a reason the term non-binary exists and it is reasonable for you to accept that label as you learn more about yourself.

It sounds like you are also concerned with others labeling you as being different for the sake of being different?

EDIT: sorry, pronouns.

Tom_Joad posted...

Pansexual?

When asked the question 'sex?'... do you say 'Yes, please?'

Sort of, but not quite. The big confirmation for me is the quality of post-coital conversation. Of course, thats something thats not always apparent. Seriously though, a good post-coital conversation is better than sex.

legendary_zell posted...

Based on the information you provided and my expertise,you appear to be a DirtyComputer.

You may be on to something, there

ThisIsAKnoife posted...

@TC - As others have stated, theres a reason the term non-binary exists and it is reasonable for you to accept that label as you learn more about yourself.

It sounds like you are also concerned with others labeling you as being different for the sake of being different?

Its silly and its pointless, because I really dont care what people think, outside of the people I care about and the people who care about me.

I suppose its a matter of always feeling different, and seeking to quantify and taxonomise that difference.

Or, really, if Im being healthy about it, diversity, but we know many people wouldnt quite put it that way.

Adyingod posted...

You seem quite intolerant need I say prejudice towards people you dislike. Not a very good look for you when you're fishing for pity, I must say.

Edit:

Whoops, accidentally pressed post before replying.

Why yes, if someone is an intolerable prat I dare say I will be rather intolerant of them. Well spotted! Well done!

I struggle with answering this sort of question because I never really get what people are talking about when they say they are fine with their physical body but don't feel male. Maybe it's because I don't ascribe anything to that other than feeling I'm fine with my genitals?

Like I have had sexual fantasies around being female and being impregnated, I experience sexual attraction to both male and female parts (but I'm also demisexual so I never actually fall for anyone or see them as attractive unless I trust then and find them attractive emotionally first), and I pretty much give zero shits about traditional gender roles. My favorite things are pretty, cute, and positive, like birdsong and brightly colored visuals, and I hate aggressiveness, violence in media, and "toxic masculinity" sort of stuff, but none of that has any tie to my gender to me.

So I don't really get why I would care about what "gender identity" I have when it doesn't really mean anything to me other than to describe how I feel about my physical body. Can you describe what it means to you?

DirtyComputer posted...

Edit:

Whoops, accidentally pressed post before replying.

Why yes, if someone is an intolerable prat I dare say I will be rather intolerant of them. Well spotted! Well done!

At least we agree on something. Lol

Adyingod posted...

At least we agree on something. Lol

Yes, you are being an intolerable prat.

DirtyComputer posted...

But who's that?

You.

what the hell am I?

I figured it out. You are currently not an active member.

DirtyComputer posted...

Yes, you are being an intolerable prat.

I meant in regards of not tolerating the intolerable. I'm quite comfortable in my skin, you should try it sometime. It's liberating.

Tyranthraxus posted...

I figured it out. You are currently not an active member.

Lol