Current Events > But CE told me that divorce favours mothers unfairly

(+) Yeah! (+)

Tbh that part might be true, just venting about a situation a friend of mine is in.

So she has evidence, police reports and documented conversations profiling a history of domestic abuse by the guy. He loved the smack her around, send death threats and be generally negligent. You know, loses his fucking mind and starts screaming because the dishes aren't done, that kinda thing. That was just towards her.

After the divorce, he got custody every weekend, while she got every week. This meant that she organised dinners, took the kid to school, paid for every single expense, did bedtime, bathtime and basically every life lesson. His child support payments are $150 a month. Which I guess almost cover a week's worth of one of those things.

Towards the kid (4 years old) he was negligent at best, terrifying at worst. I don't think he's ever directly physically hurt the kid, but the kid talked about the time "daddy was angry and threw a plant pot across the room and i had to move out the way so it didn't hit my head". He also liked to watch horror movies with the kid, who is now terrified of the dark and has lots of nightmares. And any time he was at the dad's house, he'd be completely exhausted the next day.

After the plant pot incident, she contacted various support organisations who advised her to cut contact move 30 miles away with the kid. She did so. Now he's taken her to court and there is a possibility that she will have to relocate back to be closer to him, so that he can have equal parenting rights.

Equal parenting rights, but not equal parenting responsibilities. He doesn't want to be a dad, he wants to be fun uncle.

Probably the worst part about this is that the kid just thinks dad is the most fun ever. It's fucking heartbreaking.

Well you have to follow the courts ruling, so if she moved and that wasn't in the deal...she's fucked. Document all the shit then go back to court and get that shit fixed.

Dealing with a similar situation with my Fiance. The twins dad is a deadbeat but NH has some shit about making sure both parents are in the child's life unless one is considered unfit (which almost never happens here..). He was ordered to provide a clean Drug/Acohol test to see his daughters (Fuckin my daughters now).

He has never once provided one, it's been almost 2 years since he last saw them, and yet for some darn reason the courts won't see that he is putting drugs and alcohol before the girls he claims to love oh so much.

Fuckin' court systems for this shit SUUUUCCKKK

You only see the side of the mother too so that doesnt help. She shouldnt have tried to distance herself and move away. She should be creating a paper trail with proof that hes unfit to be a father and present that to a lawyer.

--Zero- posted...

You only see the side of the mother too so that doesnt help. She shouldnt have tried to distance herself and move away. She should be creating a paper trail with proof that hes unfit to be a father and present that to a lawyer.

I can see that in the moment of the father potentially harming the child physically she wasn't prepared to wait to gather more evidence of abuse before moving away.

She has all the evidence of abuse against her, and has had to repeatedly present it. The court isn't very interested in that though, their ruling is on the basis of what is best for the child, while ignoring that he's just a shite dad.

I don't think justice is being carried out here, just some kind of skewed version of equality.

Lokison posted...

Dealing with a similar situation with my Fiance. The twins dad is a deadbeat but NH has some shit about making sure both parents are in the child's life unless one is considered unfit (which almost never happens here..). He was ordered to provide a clean Drug/Acohol test to see his daughters (Fuckin my daughters now).

He has never once provided one, it's been almost 2 years since he last saw them, and yet for some darn reason the courts won't see that he is putting drugs and alcohol before the girls he claims to love oh so much.

Fuckin' court systems for this shit SUUUUCCKKK

This is rubbish man, sorry to hear.

I think people mostly mean in the us when they say that, some dark blue states are trying to change that with stuff like the NH rulings.

UK courts are 50/50 on whether to favour women or criminals more.